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cheese squeeser

@cheese-squeezer.bsky.social
18 followers 79 following 40 posts
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Shen Comix @shenanigansen.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
man, duolingo tf is going on
the "more apps to try" section of an app page on the google play store. it recommends facebook, google gemini, and duolingo, and while the former 2 look normal, the duolingo owl's face is sweating and red with its tongue out
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Truckstop Vigilante @brenthor.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Taking my shirt off in the street. Townsfolk gathering, circling. Thousands and thousands in a perfect living spiral, each slapping my belly with both hands. The sound of it hammers the sky. United, we weep, because we are alive. Really alive. The sweet syrup of it nearly drowns us
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lovebait snugglecakes @irgenwohner9875.bsky.social · 30/07/2026
they’re doing nothing to me tomorrow #controlgroup
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Jocelyn Anderson Photography @jocelynanderson.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
A Green Heron goes into maximum neck mode to grab a tadpole and then resets into minimum neck mode after the snack was acquired.
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dANTE @thatzommy.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
my therapist keeps telling me how liberating it feels to buy a gun
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to show up in full combat gear on a hot summer day to the pool he filled with algae because he gave a paint job to one of his cigar puffing cronies. you are ordered to stop tourists from touching the green water. good luck soldier
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Kenny Logins @kennylogins.bsky.social · 29/12/2023
costco makes me pay them to do all the things i have always been told a free market would just do on its own
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nadira rodin @nadirarod.institute · 18/06/2026
make me again but out of richer clay this time
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The Man With The Mouthful Of Shit @prefectbeanis.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
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SHREW @shrewtape.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
Thank you, gay son, for your wisdom, and thank you, thot daughter, for your courage.
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SHREW @shrewtape.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
Any reasonable observer would conclude that Timmy Turner has too much power and is too reckless with that power and would have to be neutralized by any means necessary at the nearest opportunity in order to safeguard national security interests.
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Boris "Christopher Cushing" Lugosi @aherrera.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Doctor said the floaters in my eyes were actually tiny bones. He theorized that while I slept, my eyes released a pheromone to attract lizards and mice and then my eyes consumed the creatures. The doctor then gave me a little kiss on the cheek. We sorta didn’t talk after that.
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francis @dilfkink.kindboys.online · 13/06/2026
THEY SHOULD INVENT GRINDR FOR FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!
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dissected @trepanation.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
it’s ok
small dog staring at a wall in an empty hallway
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cheese squeeser @cheese-squeezer.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
she extinction burst on my utopia syndrome till i suicidal ideation
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AuThom🎃🏳️‍🌈 @mongreldog.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
incredible things are happening on tiktok
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cheese squeeser @cheese-squeezer.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
can i legit get the absolve me bumper sticker
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cheese squeeser @cheese-squeezer.bsky.social · 04/06/2026
im always saying this
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Ben "Ben Pack" Pack @packbenpack.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
Sad!
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disc horse bot @horsedisc.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
White people would rather fart than go to therapy
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 29/05/2026
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dave @gloomfather.bsky.social · 25/05/2026
(a new object is placed in my enclosure) damn new object just dropped (I glance disparagingly over at yesterday's object) lol y'all still thinking about this huh
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UFO Sighting Bot @ufoskies.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
A very strange thing
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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 18/04/2026
It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way
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Middle-aged man (13 years old when Morrowind released May 2002) @poorolddyl.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
Thirteen hot cocoas and clutching my tummy in the booth rocking side to side going ohhhhhhhhhh NOOOOOOOOOOO, firmly declining help and gesturing towards the two wet singles on the table
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dissected @trepanation.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
it must feel so good to piss people off with art you make
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my plug says he loves me @chudwina.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
had a dream there was a 2000 dollar cut of meat called “the butchers pussy” and anyone who ate it would throw up uncontrollably and fall remarkably ill for several days. one guy was hospitalized to the point of doctors pleading with the family to euthanize the patient ,
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"fart" @jonhendren.com · 14/05/2026
when i was growing up in los banos there was a meth guy in town who was always nice and one time he told me he was going to go to the gas station for snacks and instantly took off running full speed like t-1000 up th middle of the street
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my plug says he loves me @chudwina.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
reading rick and Morty yaoi and blowing vape smoke on my sisters baby
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my plug says he loves me @chudwina.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
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my plug says he loves me @chudwina.bsky.social · 10/04/2026
kitten it would be an honor to detonate my vest inside this burger king lobby with you
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Santana Abraxas @slime-golem.biz · 14/05/2026
blowing cigar smoke in your baby's face. I run this town
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jenny tightpants @jtp.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
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J HELL P @jlp.systems · 13/05/2026
Reconstruction of the Koptos colossi, pre-dynastic colossal statues of the God Min, Koptos, late Naqada II- early Naqada III, about 3300 BCE. The statues show a bearded man, naked but for a belt and a sash, holding his erect penis.
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
The thing about old JRPGs is that they’d let anything be a party member, you’d have a damn cat in there, you’d have a big frying pan, you’d have a horny skeleton, you’d have a sentient beaver powered by the ghost of the emperor, now everything has to be “good”
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Lich's Fart Crystal Phylactery @slugworlds.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
hey taste this. i scraped it off a beast
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Nurbsy @nurbsy.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
Farting into your fridge and closing the door
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cheese squeeser @cheese-squeezer.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
funny
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Too many keys on a piano. How am I supposed to remember what they all do? There should be just one key that plays a song in its entirety. And there should be a machine that can press the key and listen to the song on my behalf. I don't need to be involved.
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Santana Abraxas @slime-golem.biz · 12/05/2026
That eidolon is whack and cheugy
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j @dyke.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
comedians in running cars in the garage
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little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
The moral arc of the universe is a crazy straw and when you finally get a drink it’s milk
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terror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Nice shyness. Is it debilitating
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DisgustingFilm @disgustingfilm.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
Burgers got me moaning and squirting
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DBJ @deadblossomjesse.bsky.social · 08/05/2026
The new best song of all time is Hacker by Death Grips. This comes after a 98 year reign by the previous best song of all time, Button Up Your Overcoat by Ruth Etting. Before that the best song was 1 hour of moaning(50,000 year reign)
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