Reposted by THE Burger KingMemento (spooky) Morty 🌙 @mementomorty.bsky.social · 13/08/2025A murder of crows? You mean caws of death?? 581740402
Reposted by THE Burger KingFickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Go go gadget self-sabotage! 413464
Reposted by THE Burger Kingmave @mave.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Moving from summer to fall is a significant shift. Time to put away my swimsuits and get back to mysteriously haunting a crumbling abandoned lighthouse 09932
Reposted by THE Burger KingTravis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 24/09/2026*getting taught a lesson by some mobsters that I owe a lot of money to* please, not my scrolling thumb 18123
Reposted by THE Burger KingFrankenfreckle @neptunian9.bsky.social · 01/10/2024Showing my goth cat autopsy photos to win his love back. 713730
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Hey, did you know Instagram now has teen accounts? 011
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 10/09/2026"The world is a vampire..." This is a ball pit, Billy. "Secret destroyers..." Just kids, Billy. "I AM STILL JUST A RAT IN A CAGE!" Touché. 000
Reposted by THE Burger KingFickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 02/09/2026How to enjoy a staff meeting: 1. Stop listening. 2. Imagine you’re down at Fraggle Rock. 14394121
Reposted by THE Burger King Comfortably Numb @numb.comfortab.ly · 27/08/2026BREAKING: USDA warning: do not consume any food. 631548304
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Looking forward to having to make a cost-benefit analysis on whether to pay for a gallon of gas or a roll of toilet paper. 000
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Can we just skip to the "soylent green is people" part already? 010
Reposted by THE Burger KingFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 19/08/2026If a baby hands you a toy telephone to answer, that's a sign of great respect in their culture. 2765161278
Reposted by THE Burger KingKalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 19/08/2026ME: *holds ‘em* KENNY ROGERS: not yet ME: *folds ‘em* KENNY ROGERS: too soon ME: *starts to walk away* KENNY ROGERS: *pulls out gun* ME: *runs* 44710
Reposted by THE Burger KingYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 14/08/2026me: (asking for help) please get away from me 322564
Reposted by THE Burger KingJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 17/08/2026I lied. There’s no sex. Get dressed, we have to find the Ark of the Covenant 1432483
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Damon Lindelof in every writers room: What if we killed off the main character? 020
Reposted by THE Burger KingKalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 16/05/2026COSTCO: here, try this ME: oh yummy COSTCO: so you like it? ME: yes, it's delicious COSTCO: well, we don’t sell it anymore and you'll never see it again. 2856962722
Reposted by THE Burger KingSeaTea @tierno158.bsky.social · 11/08/2026I cut my dryer sheets in half. I'm pretty sure this is how Warren Buffett saved his first million. 17025
Reposted by THE Burger KingScott Linnen @scottlinnen.bsky.social · 11/08/2026It’s the dog days of summer and that dog is Cerberus. 16326
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 09/08/2026I won't even begin to take your on-the-spot news tiktok seriously if your tiny microphone doesn't have a cute fuzzy pop filter. 010
Reposted by THE Burger KingNo Trick Pony @hiddenpinky.bsky.social · 09/08/2026How do Australians clean their butts? Bidet, mate! 2248
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 03/08/2026"I- I'm so sorry! That's never happened before!" Peter Parker stammers as he futilely tries to pull his web-encrusted hands from MJ's chest. 020
Reposted by THE Burger KingTHE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 30/06/2024Harry Osborn: *falls out of tree* Peter Parker: Did you see her? Did you see MJ? Harry: I spied her, man! Peter: 💡 001
Reposted by THE Burger KingOpinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 03/08/2026one of the things I miss most about living with someone is asking them to bring me something from the other room 1128541
Reposted by THE Burger KingSwim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 03/08/2026[baby court] ME: I’d like to remind the defendant that I still have his nose 515438
Reposted by THE Burger KingTHE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 27/08/2024Orc: The Uruk-Hai are ready, my lord. Saruman (played by Billy Crystal): U-RUK MAHVELOUS! 001
Reposted by THE Burger Kingthe hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Easy money hack: because a car loses 15% of its value the moment you drive it off the lot, just don't. Only drive the car in circles around the lot, without ever leaving. Take up residence in one of the dealership's back offices. Start dating Tina from the sales desk. Boom, 15% saved, you're welcome 2535146
Reposted by THE Burger KingOpinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Little Women 2: Even Littler 47899152
Reposted by THE Burger KingRob Cee @therobcee.bsky.social · 26/07/2026Still can't believe that for the first 50 years of television, we were wasting our time watching the fake housewives of various cities. 0266
Reposted by THE Burger King🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 22/07/2026who do we want? the funk soul brother when do we want him? right about now 363084817
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 19/07/2026Person who has never seen a Christopher Nolan film: I'm not going to see The Odyssey because it's woke. 020
Reposted by THE Burger KingIt's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 07/07/2026One problem I have with every recipe is where is the step for crying 52970156
Reposted by THE Burger KingFᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud.bsky.social · 09/07/2026ME: I'm thinking of planting a patch of the garden with wildflowers WIFE: That would be lovely. All the different colo ME: Calling it Air Bee n Bee HER: Get out 212236
Reposted by THE Burger KingTHE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 09/07/2024[Abercrombie] Salesperson: Can I help you find anything today? Me: Yeah, where are the NON-slim pants? *I am beaten in the alley by shirtless hunks* 001
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 09/07/2026The Odyssey? More like The Odd to See Those Actors in Their Roles, am I right? 000
Reposted by THE Burger KingOpinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 09/07/2026my new move is asking hot guys "can I see your hand?" and then just holding it 2665084
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 09/07/2026Technically, laying in the morgue is still "hospitalized". 040
Reposted by THE Burger KingChestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Here is the church Here is the steeple Open the doors There are so many rats Oh God So many rats Crawling Scurrying The chorus of their combined squeaks haunt my dreams 26718
Reposted by THE Burger KingKalvin the Reindeer @kalvinmacleod.bsky.social · 09/07/2026WIFE: how does this house get so dirty so fast? ME: *rollerblading through the kitchen while eating nachos* the kids are gross 120844
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 06/07/2026A giant handing out pink slips really makes you stand up and take notice. 010
Reposted by THE Burger KingTHE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 30/06/2024People may think Asteroid Day is unnecessary, but really it's for the crater good. 261
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 21/06/2026Me: My favorite dog breed which reminds me that my brother has a daughter is the Have-a-niece. Shelter employee: Not this guy again. 020
Reposted by THE Burger Kingbatkaren @batkaren.bsky.social · 03/06/2026This is the one, The New Yorker! 215723
Reposted by THE Burger Kingandy vs. @im-all-id.me · 18/06/2026It's always may cause "drowsiness" what about whimsy 9480135
THE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 17/06/2026Me (singing): Groove is in the heart! Pulmonologist: ... and that's why we need to operate immediately. 040
Reposted by THE Burger KingTHE Burger King @aburgeraday.bsky.social · 08/11/2024Girl are you a hybrid 'cause I can't remember life Prius. 093
