Ethan Kocak @ethankocak.com · 30/12/2024Science question: if a giraffe was bad, like really evil, and we had to construct a gallows for the evil giraffe how tall would it have to be 10139751
Alice Bennett @aliceponderland.bsky.social · 17/12/2025I think it depends on whether the hanging is intended to kill by strangulation/suffocation, in which case drop height is less critical, or by breaking the neck, where it would likely have to be much longer drop 020
Kelayda (Drawgirldraw) @drawgirldraw.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Tbh I think we’d go the Thomas Edison route and just make a giant electrocution pad. 000
Theri @lordtherizino.bsky.social · 30/12/2024The average giraffe is 16-18 feet tall. Factoring the proportions need to hang one... Approximately 220 feet or 67.056 meters tall (I honestly have no idea where the numbers came from) 010
Spudmonkey @spudmonkey.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Leave it to the UK. There's a table. Note, however, that extrapolation from this to giraffe mass and height could get... messy. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Officia...en.wikipedia.orgOfficial Table of Drops - Wikipedia 010
Leak @kernelleak.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Minimum diameter rocket + strong rope + giraffe should do it for every length of giraffe. (You might want to add a flight termination system in case of "dead giraffe zooming around the plaza"...) 170
Chloe Ashbourne 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ @chloeashbourne.bsky.social · 30/12/2024I don’t think the evilness of the giraffe is relevant to how high the gallows has to be. 😉 030
Kancin @kancin.bsky.social · 05/01/2025do you mean the hangman's calculation or the whole gibbet? 000
Kancin @kancin.bsky.social · 01/01/2025trick question. you would obviously use a guillotine for an evil giraffe. 000
Gwen C. Katz @gwenckatz.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Is it that giraffe? www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYcn...youtube.comEddie Izzard - Evil GiraffeYouTube video by Crzdcdn 3150
MattMT @mattmt.bsky.social · 30/12/2024"my post about the logistics of constructing a gallows for an evil giraffe is prompting a lot of questions that are already answered by my post" 0251
LiberalPatriot @bsky.social @liberalpatriot.bsky.social · 03/07/2025Wait… you’re actually a stand-up comic using Bluesky to try out new material, right? 000
Charles Bergquist @cbquist.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Only a few feet if you hang the giraffe upside down 140
KL Forslund @klforslund.com · 31/12/2024You can’t go wrong with setting the noose at twice the height as the hangee. You’ll need a scaffold of course. Expect a crowd. The people like to see a hanging. Don’t matter what they done. Also expect their gang to attempt a rescue. 040
Machiavellian Star Chef 🌟 @altmer.bsky.social · 31/12/2024what about a line of guillotines? maybe that evil giraffe has really bad vibes. just chop the neck into quarters to make an example to the other evil giraffes 041
Johnny Applememes @johnnyapplememes.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Im just saying you can’t miss with a guillotine. 000
nineninenine @nineninenine.bsky.social · 31/12/2024The gallows height most exceed the giraffe’s height when the giraffe is standing tip toe on its hind legs 020
Leobardo @leopazz.bsky.social · 31/12/2024I think a guillotine is the more efficient cost/size scenario here, shooting squad and electric chair bring similar logistics problems to the gallows 120
Duckshow @duckshow.bsky.social · 31/12/2024No gallows - tie the noose around the neck, and the other end to a rocket Fire! 🚀 000
Clios Fan Boy🗽🇺🇸 🇺🇦 🇹🇼 🇨🇦 🇬🇱 @cliosfanboy.bsky.social · 01/01/2025At least one elephant was hung in Tennessee using a railroad crane. Yes, in the American South in the early 20th century they so enjoyed lynching that they even lynched Circus elephants. 010
Matt Olson @metalson.bsky.social · 30/12/2024I mean clearly a headsman with a big axe is the way to go here. 060
Samson 🏳️⚧️♿ @keetfeet.bsky.social · 24/01/2025Unfortunately there's a LOT of info about elephant executions that might be helpful 000
R.J. Huneke @rj.rjhuneke.com · 31/12/2024media.tenor.coma man in a blue shirt and tie is pointing at a bulletin board with papers taped to it .Alt: a man in a blue shirt and tie is pointing at a bulletin board with papers taped to it . 000
Cat Hobaiter @nakedprimate.bsky.social · 31/12/2024This is a pretty dark alternative to the ‘if they were wearing black tie formal where should the bow tie go?’ dilemma… 030
KiwiRed @kiwired.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Also would the noose go at the top of the neck or the bottom? 361
Don Yee @mosquitolab.bsky.social · 30/12/2024I quick google produced a reddit post on this very topic (will not repost here). 010
alarmist morisette @technicalsquirrel.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Seems like we're getting more into trebuchet territory with this one. 000
TrashMouthPanda Ⓥ @ltlmissrealitychk.bsky.social · 30/12/202430ft? Give them room to stretch, and not bonk their little ears/horns 010
Wonderful Club @wonderfulclub.bsky.social · 22/10/2025Moral questions that cannot be quantified must exclude Science. 000
slugabud 🦠🧣☕ @audaxdreik.bsky.social · 31/12/2024"bunch of freaks" www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cfe2...youtube.comGiraffes in The Owl HouseYouTube video by CalamityJay 030
Birder K @birderk.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Honestly, have the giraffe in a zoo and be giving a presentation about giraffes to a group of kids in front of the exhibit and the giraffe will undoubtedly find a gruesome way to try and injure/kill itself. 1150
Mr.No.Body @mssnobody.bsky.social · 31/12/2024No need to protect your image by inventing evil giraffes, killing them is okay and even moral. God said so. 000
Brittany Sutherland @sutherlandbl.bsky.social · 30/12/2024I'm picturing the simplest option being something that cuts horizontally, like a large cigar-cutter 12 ft off the ground. 040
Books That Burn @booksthatburn.com · 03/04/2025There was that one time in the 1920's (?) where people hanged an elephant. It was a complicated effort. 010
Max Hufnagel @animatedmax.bsky.social · 31/12/2024This is a very important question and I look forward to a clear answer. 010
Christine Archer RVT 🇨🇦 @nerdrvt.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Pretty sure if you just put something novel like a new stick or a red handkerchief in the line of sight of the giraffe, it'd off itself pretty quickly. That's how giraffe do. 060
Three blobs in a trenchcoat @kaitou.org · 31/12/2024Considering that the giraffe could straiten its body and rear legs, I'd go with length of neck + length of back + length of back legs + 8 feet. If it has a bungee neck, triple that result (and keep the crowd *way* back). ((Oh, and take videos as that would be *way* entertaining.)) 000
Sean Eric Fagan @kithrup.bsky.social · 03/04/2025Surely to do the same thing we'd simply strike the neck with a heavy object, or use levers & stuff to quickly & sharply bend the neck. 110
Sean Eric Fagan @kithrup.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Giraffes can never be evil. You are probably thinking of japanese dwarf flying squirrels. 1110
Talcott @talcotts.bsky.social · 30/12/2024I’m going to hell for thinking this through, but a guillotine might be the more practical solution. If not that, a horizontal gallows might be what you’re looking for. My understanding is hanging is usually more about breaking the neck, so maybe like a noose connected to a trebuchet? 1251
VINCENT @teeth.rip · 31/12/2024just straight off the cuff, it'd only have to be a liiittle taller than the giraffe*, no? *innocent until proven guilty, moral quandaries of good and evil be damned! 020
Order Rodentia @orodentia.bsky.social · 31/12/2024What IS an evil giraffe? www.youtube.com/watch?v=3J1r...youtube.comEDDIE IZZARD - GLORIOUS - EVIL GIRAFFEYouTube video by Eddie Izzard 010
mbbendt @bendts2cents.bsky.social · 31/12/2024This book starts with a fascinating story about hanging an elephant from a railroad crane.amazon.comCritical Regionalism: Connecting Politics and Culture in the American LandscapeAmazon.com: Critical Regionalism: Connecting Politics and Culture in the American Landscape: 9780807857946: Powell, Douglas Reichert: Books 030
The Gay Menace That Is 🔺️Slam Campbell🔺️ @slamcampbell.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Maybe tall isn't the eay to go. We set up a series of nooses and run its head and neck through like three, then drop it. Maybe if they're placed right itll result in breakage 000
Skull Issue @amagire.bsky.social · 31/12/2024the important thing is to use a steel cable or something, a rope isn't going to even briefly support the full weight of a giraffe and you don't want to give an evil giraffe wearing half a scaffold a reason to come after you next 1150
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Shawn Lavelle @shawnlavelle.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Looks like it's more about weight, and the force that creates at the moment of drop. If this is any indication, it would not have to be very tall at all for an adult giraffe. (We don't have capital punishment for juvenile giraffes, right? We're not monsters) en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Officia...en.wikipedia.orgOfficial Table of Drops - Wikipedia 1122
amylynnrj @amylynnrj.bsky.social · 30/12/2024As a former zookeeper, I can tell you that giraffe are constantly trying to find creative ways to off themselves. So it's entirely possible that just showing the evil giraffe the noise would be sufficient, and it would handle the executioning itself 2560
Sexuality at the Chronic Illness Store @morgan666.bsky.social · 31/12/2024I'm fairly certain we can find more efficient ways to execute an evil giraffe. I might go for beheading. Quick, simple, lots of neck to work with. 010
Simon m @dataarchitect.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Surprisingly, it's not that much. The weight of a giraffe would need only a small drop to break the neck. We'll under 1m. Interestingly, you could not hang a spider with a 1000 mile drop. 010
Skye McDavid @skyemcdavid.com · 31/12/2024An elephant was hanged in public in Tennessee in 1915 (it's a horrifying story, many of the details are uncertain) but it is known that they used a railroad crane. 150
Saint Serene @burning-airlines.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Aaaand…. The longest thread is on the most innovative engineering discussion 🧐 000
Jonelle Cusato @yesiamfunny.bsky.social · 30/12/2024What kind of evil would a giraffe do? Eat the bottom leaves off trees to starve baby giraffes? Make jokes about the weather down there? Stand in the front row of a concert with his buddies? 230
Retired Mildly Annoyed Okie @landruncoffee.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Couldn’t we build a really tall, horizontal guillotine? 030
ktjhull.bsky.social @ktjhull.bsky.social · 31/12/2024…a science question can still be a super disturbing question. 000
Zeebuoy (didn't have energy to split accounts sorry) @zeebuoy.bsky.social · 31/12/2024It'd be more space efficient if it was sideways tbh, 000
Imani: That Good Craic @imanidubs.bsky.social · 30/12/2024As long as the giraffe’s evening shadow. 130
JL Squirrel @secret-squirrel.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Seems easier to just construct a guillotine. You're still constructing something significant, but a fraction of the height/material. Gotta think outside the box here Ethan 020
Den “Is it Halloween yet?” Shewman @denshewman.bsky.social · 24/01/2025Use the Gateway Archmedia.tenor.coma mascot with the number 10 on his shirt is holding a flagAlt: a mascot with the number 10 on his shirt is holding a flag in front of the Gateway Arch 000
mikeinthedirt.bsky.social @mikeinthedirt.bsky.social · 25/07/20257 meters. 22.966 ft internationally 000
Steve Quick @stevequick.bsky.social · 31/12/2024If the giraffe is 18 feet, it could maybe stand on its hind legs to 25, so that's the starting point. They have strong necks, but they weigh a lot, so 30 to strangle (you said it's evil), 40-45 to snap the spine. 010
Modern Simple Sabotage: Startup Edition @mdrnsimplesabotage.bsky.social · 11/03/2025This feels like a consulting interview question gone wrong... 010
Annamarie (Áine Máire ÓhEisleanáin) @sopranovox.bsky.social · 31/12/2024There is no scientific evidence of human moral constructs being appropriate for giraffes. 070
OneFeinCat but SCARY @onefeincat.bsky.social · 31/12/2024My instinct is that it would need to be three times the giraffe's height, and you'd need the noose to be made of the cable they use to catch planes on aircraft carriers. 160
Mister Alex @awp.christies.org.uk · 31/12/2024Clearly the answer to this is that the giraffe should be decapitated. The headsman would stand with his axe over the giraffe's neck moving it along from torso towards head and when the baying mob's cheer was loudest that would decide where the cut would be made. 010
Julia Is Waving, Not Drowning @booktweeting.bsky.social · 31/12/2024a giraffe does not have mens rea! 1162
bluecacao.bsky.social @bluecacao.bsky.social · 23/01/20254ft, but attach the noøse to a ... helicopter? or a hot air balloon? a dirigible? an elevator? 000
Ethan Kocak @ethankocak.com · 31/12/2024@danirabaiotti.bsky.social hey help me with this very important question 390
Chel @mynnna.northsky.social · 31/12/2024They fight each other by hitting each other with their necks, so whatever it is it is surely greater than “tall enough for an eight foot drop” 020
Jymbo (Smurfmaster from the place that shall not be named) @smurfmasterjym.bsky.social · 31/12/2024Not very. Just strap it tightly to a teeter totter and keep their heart elevated above their head face down. Their blood pressure is insufficient to pump the blood back up for redistribution. Death in 20mins after unconsciousness. 000
Charles Louis Richter @richterscale.bsky.social · 31/12/2024depends, are you looking for a clean snap or has the giraffe not paid you off and you're fine with a slow strangle? are you a real showman and want to pop that evil giraffe's head right off? further information is required 040
Maki Scare-O @makinaro.com · 31/12/2024As the Giraffe's lawyer, I'd like to call a physicist to the stand to confirm/deny that the weight distribution of a quadruped would cause the animal to swing instead of dropping straight down and would therefore be cruel and unusual. 080
Jess McLaughlin, PhD (they/them) @jfmclaughlin92.bsky.social · 30/12/2024I mean giraffes are very heavy, and so possibly not as tall as you'd expect based on humans? 1141
Nigel Monaghan @nigelmonaghan-nh.bsky.social · 30/12/2024Rev Dr Samuel Haughton came up with the formula in 1866: “The Irishman who brought the humane drop to hanging” www.irishtimes.com/news/science...irishtimes.comThe Irishman who brought the humane drop to hangingSamuel Haughton discovered a method in which the neck is broken by the drop 140
Learning Laser @learninglaser.bsky.social · 31/12/2024We've got one chance to test the giraffe neck manganel, don't waste it on gallows! Or if you're insistent on using a rope we could make it a giraffapult. 010
