iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 15/02/2025

Looks like I'm adding, "open bag of chips," to my emergency plan in case of a fire.

A picture of my hand holding a bag of chips and my dog and cat staring at me.

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Blinky McBlinksalot @shannanegans.bsky.social · 12/02/2025

I get all my romantic advice from 80s country icon Eddie Rabbit

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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

There are certain things men love to hear so I don’t say them

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Sooz @cruisinsoozan.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Remember to pinch your nipples and eat cookies this weekend. You can thank me later!

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Gary Muppet @garymuppet.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Judged solely by his inability to parallel park, Gary too was qualified to head a federal agency.

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Techy (aka I’ve had enough) @techmidschteach.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Protect teachers We are one of the first to be targets in a facist regime

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Emma Bolden @emmabolden.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

a toaster but for when your hands are cold

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Dead Serious Mick @deadseriousmick.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

I'd call this a teachable moment in history, but we never learn.

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Twin Dad @twinsurvivalist.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Could evolution have found a shittier place to locate the balls?

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Dead Serious Mick @deadseriousmick.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Younger me, punching current me in the sack like a speedbag, as I offer sage advice.

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Jennifer Crawford @ournewhomecoach.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Just imagine what I could do if I didn’t have to worry about paying bills. 😊🤞🦋

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

I wash my legs when showering. -Me flirting

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Jax @ehhjax.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

To turn on music or not, that is the question

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Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Bluesky illiteracy is the inability to read sarcasm.

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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

I just told a beautiful woman I like it ‘Soggy Style’ 🤦‍♂️

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

pretty cool how us tweeter refugees came to bsky and proceeded to relentlessly post jokes with the same grim, joyless determination that one devotes to cleaning their shower grout, just like we did at the other place

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Telling someone "now don't be alarmed" is a good way to scare the shit out of them

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GerBear @grrreee.bsky.social · 08/01/2025

"I don't deal well with people. It doesn't come naturally to me." Bitch, you're a nurse!

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GerBear @grrreee.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

Muting accounts in beastmode as it gets closer to Monday.

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GerBear @grrreee.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

I'm so fancy I'm like Applebee's on a date night

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Katie Didn’t @porkchophair.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

Grandma [sharing family recipe]: -and the secret ingredient… is LOVE. Me [frantically writing it down]: cool, what exactly is that and what store sells it?

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Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

The upside to congestion pricing in NYC is that someone will now have to pay $9 if they want to throat punch me.

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

[party] Wife: oh god, grant's doing the robot again Me: [fucking the roomba]

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

I think it's about time we put the next four years behind us.

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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

[funeral] Husband: *being laid to rest* Wife: I swear, sometimes it's like you're not even listening to me Carl

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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

I just don't see how they can expect me to fit exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and dénouement into 300 characters.

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

I get it, Bluesky search links, I don't want to work either.

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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

Still wassailing. Amateurs.

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Fickle Filly @ficklefilly.bsky.social · 29/08/2023

Sorry I dressed up like Captain Caveman when you asked me if I wanted to go clubbing.

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Tim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

Imagine if you will, human beings dragging their naked ass on your rug like a dog with an itchy butt. Imagine your government adding new forms of taxes. Samesies.

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flamby ✨🐝 @flamby666.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

who signed the legal documents granting cougars their own town? why don't raccoons have one? surely they're more deserving.

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Tim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

People who get their shit together. Please tell me it’s not literally.

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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

if it wasn’t for tangents I’d have nothing to go off on at all

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TouchOfAlchemy @touchofalchemy.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

Not to brag, but I've been calling people out on their bullshit since I was little Over the next 4+ years, more people need to do that Hateful people don't deserve politeness

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Sassyteach24 @sassyteach24.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

Thigh nibbles and ragged breath please. Ma’am this is a Wendy’s… Whoops… and a baked potato.

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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 05/03/2024

Civilized men sit down to pee, I just hate it when my balls touch the urinal cake.

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TouchOfAlchemy @touchofalchemy.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

I just speak in a series of non sequiturs Gotta keep people on their toes

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Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

- What do we have here? - Multiple homicide. - This lady lying in the middle of the floor is alive! - Yeah, that's my girlfriend. She loves to play the victim.

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Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

- Stupid people never change their mind. - I bet you’ve always held that opinion.

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Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 18/01/2025

When I was in the 3rd grade I defeated a 4th grader to win my elementary school’s chess tournament, but please don’t tell anyone. The last thing I need is a bunch of women sliding into my DMs when I’m trying to internet.

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Tim 🇨🇦 @qwertying.bsky.social · 18/01/2025