Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 06/10/2026How does one become the right amount of stimulated? 000
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Screaming 'cook muthafucka!' at the risotto rice 000
Reposted by Noodles in bioSCHLOCK 🐀 @schlockuya-izayoi.bsky.social · 28/09/2026"... it is still humorous to imagine the implications arising from it if taken at face value." I should get that printed on a hat, or something. 0321
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Life hack: don't waste your energy on futile, pointless tasks pick one or the other 000
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Me: I'm home alone this week my wife went to the Caribbean without me Friend: Jamaica? Me: What, no Friend: Grenada? Me: No, that's barbaric! Friend: Cuba? Me: No, and this conversation is getting surreal Friend: Aruba? Me: That's not even a verb! 000
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Finally figured out what will solve my executive dysfunction and it's having the staff of a 19th century country house 000
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Ever since Elizabeth Holmes I have a lot of trust issues with women in polo necks 000
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 21/09/2026someone trying honey for the first time: wait, this is all bees eat? no wonder they can't fly straight 000
Reposted by Noodles in bioslate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 21/09/2026jail guard: you get one phone call me: um ok *dialing* hey i’m in jail 911: we should make this number harder 2964
Reposted by Noodles in bioMꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 11/09/2026"I wasn't allowed to stay up and watch the EU treaty negotiations in 1991" "Maastricht?" "She was a bit" 12633103
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 11/09/2026AI is just the nuclear arms race except the aim is to make bombs that go off on their own 000
Reposted by Noodles in bioToby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 11/09/2026Doctors said I’d be lucky to survive into adulthood and boy were they wrong 16419
Reposted by Noodles in bioGef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 06/09/2026I'll suffer fools gladly, I fucking love fools 08526
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 06/09/2026My new business idea is selling subscriptions to Google circa 2008. Google 2026 is helping with the sales material 000
Reposted by Noodles in bioBoo lettuce @lettuce.bsky.social · 02/09/2026First animal that could fly: holy shit guys check this out 0153
Reposted by Noodles in bio𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚞𝚜 @godkingchorgus.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Boutta smoke some straight up bullshit 161
Reposted by Noodles in bioToby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 02/09/2026TO ALL MY DOUBTERS good call 0157
Reposted by Noodles in bioBob Heller @bobheller.bsky.social · 02/09/2026My skin care regimen is just me yelling at my face in the mirror, “DO BETTER!” 02110
Reposted by Noodles in bioNate @thenatewolf.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Big Mike just gave the boys a 360. Judging by all the hooting and hollering, I think corduroys might be back. 071
Reposted by Noodles in bioVeX @vexdigest.bsky.social · 31/08/2026I'm not sure what this means, but it's 100% correct. 0183
Reposted by Noodles in bioNate's Scary Myth @natesmith.dev · 02/09/2026starbucks' real product is "predictable road trip bathroom availability" 1306
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Started to google 'foods that make you feel good but don't contain loads of calories' and realised I was describing narcotics 000
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 02/09/2026I always know when the police arrest the wrong suspect, the evidence just doesn't add up (there are still 30 minutes left in the episode) 010
Reposted by Noodles in bioBlair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 02/09/2026*pats a cat* you can fit so much attitude in this little thing 421273
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 25/08/2026Cheesemaxxing my snacks is this a thing yet? 000
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Just invented vintage cold brew by remembering why that cafetiere has been in my fridge since last summer 000
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 16/08/2026Seems like in most sentences the phrase low key is low key redundant 000
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Farage is so lazy he didn't even turn up to his own PR stunt 010
Reposted by Noodles in bioRaysident Evil @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 13/08/2026Found this in the Amazon reviews of a sous vide immersion circulator, a device ostensibly for cooking fish. 4599
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Why is nothing funny any more? Oh no wait I'm just depressed lol 000
Reposted by Noodles in bioFrovo @frovo.bsky.social · 10/08/2026[shipwreck diary] Day 437: still no sign of human contact. this is fucking awesome 019557
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Me: (opens fridge) yep, that's where the food is (closes fridge) 010
Reposted by Noodles in bioPasta Fazool @christopherdowning.bsky.social · 09/08/2026For an extra charge, ikea will now build your furniture for you. It would be worth it if you could request it be done by a couple on their second date. 12813
Reposted by Noodles in bioweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 09/08/2026In the 1800s, tech neck was called book neck 38211
Reposted by Noodles in bioLizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 09/08/2026shazam for when you forget someone’s name 1430199
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Is it you snoozed you losed or you snost you lost? 000
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 08/08/2026I'm not being facetious but that sounds like Faeces H Butt 000
Reposted by Noodles in bio 👻 Ghoul Named Cru 🦇 @carnitas.bsky.social · 06/08/2026the wildfires thing will go away if we have more data centers and no water 45311
Reposted by Noodles in bioJohn @johncnj.bsky.social · 04/08/2026Give a man a fish and you’ll quickly find out that most men don’t really like to receive seafood as a gift. 23416
Noodles in bio @noodlesinbio.bsky.social · 05/08/2026Cookie Monster claims he loves cookies but doesn't even swallow them. Total bullshit! 000
Reposted by Noodles in bioFrances: Meh and Loving It @francesmeh.reviews · 05/08/2026when my grandmother cooked elaborate meals for her dogs we chalked it up to undiagnosed mental illness but if she'd lived another decade she'd be killing it on tiktok rn 412020
Reposted by Noodles in bioToby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 05/08/2026My skeets use many of the same letters as successful skeets 35821
Reposted by Noodles in bioYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 05/08/2026thinking back on one of my most formative summers where we got a ouija board at the toy store and then everything in the world was extremely haunted until we went back to school 27810
