iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Toby 🇵🇸

@tobestewart.bsky.social

7.7K followers 313 following 3.5K posts

Somethng s mssng from your lfe bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajpevonw36e

Posts Replies Media

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 3h

Quick reminder: the “F” in OMFG is for “Fictional”

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 3h

I love seeing people in old photographs, but absolutely no closer

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 17h

Never corner a market. A market-in-a-corner’s only option is attack

Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸

Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Even if you've only done the Macarena once, you're still a carrier

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Quick reminder that “Toby” is a gender-neutral name suitable for babies and pets of any identity

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I love sports! Any poorly disguised excuse to persecute the weak is fine with me

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

[first day as a scientist] “Let us pray”

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I don’t subscribe to any religions but I do observe the hypocrisy

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I suggested we open a joint bank account but we don't know anyone with any money

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

If you see me giving you a thumbs-up, it means I’ve managed not to say anything stupid

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

My favourite book is The Bible because the same thing happened to me

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

They say some people look like their pets, but I didn't believe it until I saw your wife's moose

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I’ve got an itchy nose which, according to local folk tradition, means I’m going to come into some cocaine

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

The problem with many hobbies is they’re a way to meet people

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Sorry I haven’t posted recently. I’m enjoying a period of robust mental health

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The inventor of Monday mornings only lived another twenty minutes

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Ooof! It’s Monday af

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

My skeets should improve now I’ve finished reading the alphabet

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

She’s a ten, but in Roman numerals, so you don’t see her anymore

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

With power comes responsibility, and that’s why I fight the power

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

You can learn a lot from literature. For instance, never kiss a frog if it isn’t wearing pants

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Fashion advice: always remember to pay inflated prices for branded clothing so you can advertise the brand's products for them, for free

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

How long does Viagra last? I’ve been badly let down by public transport

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Moses: “Wow! A burning bush!” Burning bush: Moses: “God must be speaking to me!” Burning bush: Moses: “Yes God, I WILL do that”

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

I think I’m in love but it may just be fatigue

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Don't forget to tell her she's "more than a woman" to you. Women love that

Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸

dan mentos @danmentos.com · 22/09/2026

[job interview] interviewer: so god killed all your kids? job: that's right

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

[the invention of religion] “Quick! Hold this foreskin! No time to explain!”

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Literally nobody has ever asked me to post. That’s how altruistic I am

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I’m not planning a very lazy day, that’s how lazy I plan on being

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Don't tell your real life friends you're on BlueSky: they have “great ideas” for “funny” skeets but don't like being told to “fuck off”

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Jesus, on the Cross: “Write this down:” John: “OK” Jesus, on the Cross: “If your birthday falls on Christmas you get twice as many presents” John: “Gotcha”

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

[Creation] God: “Shazam!” 💥Cat: “Miaow?” God: “You. Are. Perfect” Cat: “Miaow” [Later] God: *creates the litter tray*

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Sports teach us that the majority of people are losers

Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸

Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Your falsetto: use it or lose it

Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸

Blitsharts @blitsharts.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

IMPORTANT NEWS: I am standing down from my job to concentrate on world affairs.

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Tired of explaining that my “I love Elon Musk” tattoo is actually about a completely different Elon Musk

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

[taking legal advice] Lawyer: “It’s about Your books” God: “Oh here we go”

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Does being circumcised make me an amputee? I think I should be allowed to park here

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I’d like to thank everyone on here for helping me turn my life around. That would be nice

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Sometimes I need to remind myself that I’m here, bringing joy into the lives of the intellectually feeble, and not just completely wasting my time

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I want to protect women but I don’t own a balaclava?

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

The evidence was rigged. No murders were committed. Lucy is innocent. Why is she still in prison? #FreeLucy #LucyLetby #NineteenNurses

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Doctors said I’d be lucky to survive into adulthood and boy were they wrong

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

I bet all the people who haven’t been suffering from anxiety for years are feeling pretty stupid now

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Many of you have been in touch asking why my writing team is openly conspiring against me

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

[skeeting at 6 a.m. to see if THAT’S when my followers are online]

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

[Bedtime story] “Daddy, read the part where Jesus washes the prostitutes”

Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

It’s only 107 days to Christmas and, I’ll be honest, I’m not feeling the least bit festive

Reposted by Toby 🇵🇸

Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 24/11/2024

[handing a picture of a very healthy person to my doctor] so I was thinking something like this