Reposted by maggieVillein 🔒 @villein.bsky.social · 17/12/2025platonically dazzled by the sparkling homie 06213
Reposted by maggieterror @weedlejuice.bsky.social · 17/12/2025Friends should hunt each other through the woods for Christmas 1588
maggie @magpie-maggie.bsky.social · 17/12/2025just reacted to a discord message in a server I never interact with and forgot my discord name is “grandma’shit sexy man” 001
Reposted by maggiealexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 17/12/2025actually i prefer savory caroline 21604117
Reposted by maggiehaunted ghoulfriend👻🍬 @sliceofwife.bsky.social · 17/12/2025getting my clit pierced at the old spaghetti factory 414210
Reposted by maggiedonni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 16/12/2025I have decided to start rotating, sexily, like a young rotisserie chicken 414023
Reposted by maggiespooky cannoli @boner.ink · 10/12/2025not now kitten, daddy is in a shootout with federal agents 121532
Reposted by maggiedonni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 10/12/2025They’re grinding me into a savory paste for the local baron 2385
Reposted by maggiebyelilo @byelilo.bsky.social · 08/12/2025soft drink implies there’s a hard thick throbbing drink 1622654
Reposted by maggieFun @funkelly.bsky.social · 08/12/2025“Why, yes, that *is* a boner in my pocket, *and* im happy to see you. No, it’s not mine.” - Dr Frankenstein 722246
Reposted by maggieerika @yeeeerika.bsky.social · 07/12/2025i want to hollow out a warm, freshly baked baguette and lie in it for a week 111117
Reposted by maggiespooky cannoli @boner.ink · 06/12/2025trying to fuck in the scooby doo universe and my penis keeps going in and out of different doors and hallways 512715
Reposted by maggieFun @funkelly.bsky.social · 05/12/2025your honor when you said I may approach the bench I assumed I would get uppies to get there 216649
Reposted by maggiehaunted ghoulfriend👻🍬 @sliceofwife.bsky.social · 05/12/2025the three-penis problem 61169
Reposted by maggieViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 05/12/2025[Werner Herzog voice] He is monstrous, but in a more profound sense, Cookie Monster is also a victim 141736383
maggie @magpie-maggie.bsky.social · 05/12/2025don’t talk to me until I’ve had my 3am broccoli casserole 021
Reposted by maggiechris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 03/12/2025Eating a grilled cheese sandwich with my hairy hobbit feet. 69831
Reposted by maggieJulie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 03/12/2025We threw handfuls of lice at the bride and groom because we thought that's what they wanted. 35729
Reposted by maggiejeremy kaplowitz @jeremykaplowitz.com · 03/12/2025just purchased my limited edition Avatar: Fire and Ash catheter so i don't have to get up to pee during the movie 🤩 it's designed to look like a Na'vi braid but it goes up my penis 1022117
Reposted by maggietrick-is-a-treat-kat @trickykat.bsky.social · 30/11/2025practising to become the world's first strip chess grandmaster 106723
Reposted by maggiemothra stewart @gorl.gay · 26/11/2025you can lead a man to water but he still won’t wash his butthole with it 2437955
Reposted by maggieYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 25/11/2025me: any chance i could have some of this ground? groundhog: aNy cHancE i COulD HaVE soMe OF thIs grOuNd? hell no 317832
Reposted by maggiemindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 25/11/2025An apple a day keeps the doctor away. They can also repel pharmacists if you throw them hard enough. But you're going to need a pineapple or a durian if you want to take down a dentist. 518042
Reposted by maggiefroggher @froggher.bsky.social · 25/11/2025jacking off to videos of people playing the theremin with their dick 35610
Reposted by maggieJ🌲K E @guess-what.bsky.social · 25/11/2025ME: WHY’S IT CALLED BOWLING AND NOT PINBALL SKYDIVING INSTRUCTOR: *strapped to my back* WE DON’T HAVE TO TALK 027958
Reposted by maggieTheciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 25/11/2025If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. *gets a lobotomy* 417563
Reposted by maggiejosh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 18/11/2025I think I'd know if one of my toes left my body and went to market 618821
Reposted by maggiepotion of @candlestick.bsky.social · 19/11/2025breakfast is a gateway drug to harder meals, such as lunch 010923
Reposted by maggiemindi @flawdbizkit.bsky.social · 19/11/2025throw me in a pile of leaves and run me over as a treat 46220
Reposted by maggieViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 18/11/2025Frantically deleting all my negative posts about The Hamburglar after I get a job at McDonald’s 321336
Reposted by maggiemindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 18/11/2025You can drill a hole in a bicycle frame and fill it to the brim with cheddar & broccoli soup and then weld the hole shut and paint over it. Nobody has to know 58619
Reposted by maggieDaisy @daisy91.bsky.social · 18/11/2025Breakfast in bed is considered romantic and sweet but me eating mashed potatoes in bed at 6pm is somehow concerning 2428378
Reposted by maggiespooky cannoli @boner.ink · 18/11/2025holding my girls hair back while she has diarrhea 114320
Reposted by maggiedonni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 17/11/2025Lying in bed thinking about a new and more powerful form of sandwich 1417940
Reposted by maggiesısıɹɔ˙ʎʇıʇuǝpı @identityxcrisis.bsky.social · 14/11/2025AirBnB implies the existence of EarthBnB, WaterBnB, and FireBnB. 025977
Reposted by maggieJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 12/11/2025I remember the first time I learned there were horny milfs in my area I screamed 1123252
Reposted by maggieGef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 13/11/2025skinwalker ranch dressing 68417
Reposted by maggieAmy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 09/11/2025if i unclench my butthole my insides might fall out, and other miscellaneous 3AM worries 715435
