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JSlow

@jslow.bsky.social
2.7K followers 2.1K following 5K posts

5 is the only thing we’re living for…I’m in da weeds, breaking and making, wishing I was a robot

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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 3m
Absolutely not, lol
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 6m
Nah, she’s got another, told her I wish her the best.
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 24m
Dreamt about my ex wife last night (unusual) so I texted to make sure she’s ok and she informed me she’s getting remarried this weekend.
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Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Would you support a small business who makes things with rage instead of love
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Before social media, we’d sit alone in our car at the sand pit and like and follow Dark Side of the Moon on our aftermarket speakers hoping the cops wouldn’t show up and kick us out
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⚷ @birdheartedgirl.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
some wander not to travel but simply to be still to feel and know a loveliness not of this world nor in it
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Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 06/01/2025
DJ: can y’all feel the noise? ME: *shouting over club music* I’M NOT SURE I’VE EVER REALLY FELT ANYTHING
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
You profit off 5, stop
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Betsy Wetsy @betsyross.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
my entire household of olds, pets included , are all up late night like acid trippers
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Don’t forget that none of it mattered. Fuck
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
when you die all the jokes you forgot before you could post them flash before your eyes
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Prophet
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Miaganga @miaganga.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
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David - Fanta Se, NM 😎 (he/him/dude) @d4fords.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
And from 1989!! Way ahead of his time....
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
So much fun.
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pocketprogrammer.bsky.social @pocketprogrammer.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I do not say this as a joke, I would love for those two to be president and VP. Chuck D is so smart and well spoken, and Flav has the heart and mind to sit in the assistant’s chair.
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Soaked a rag in castor oil and wrap it against my foot like a good Russian soldier.
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Bibi can pull up your heart rate on his phone.
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Even when it’s fun I promise you it used to be more fun.
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Seriously, lol
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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
coin collectors should be called coinnoisseurs
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DaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Stranger: square up Me: i ain’t tryna do math
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
The art of his deal has always cost the working class his whole life.
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I need my layers.
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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
No matter how done you are, whatever it is can always be more complete. Trust in your outfit and keep adding layers. Or be open to removing layers. I may be partial now but trust any amounts of my nudity
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Endless Screaming @infinitescream.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
AAHHHHHHHHHHH
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I just want a green house and a library, with maps.
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
You order a cat, ai bots scourer the web, locate and ship, this has business plan potential.
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The Real Kim Shady @kimmysunshine.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
What do you mean I can’t DoorDash a cat.
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Hear that.
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Listened to a Cars song on the way home. It was just what I needed
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
My long con is I’m eventually gonna die.
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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
I just need to pull off one last heist so I can finally move on to the next last heist.
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judithbolyard.bsky.social @judithbolyard.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Yes - if the old rich men want to see war, let them go fight stop killing our beautiful strong youth in every country war is never good... violence is not the way to peace...
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Dale Walls @dalewalls1.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Confederate flags will fly at half mast
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Lord Juiblex @lordjuiblex.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
EASY

And a portrait of a man with red ears and a green nose. Purple jacket and tie. He is a sloppy boy.
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m @cowboyadjacent.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
"create an account to continue" oh my god just fucking kill me
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Jimothy the Raccoon @jimothythe-raccoon.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Native Jimothy #jimothy #seattle #jimothyraccoon
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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
You can always tell when the world tries to learn from your thoughts because it'll have some universal truth act casual for being wrong and wait for you to say like "2+2=a trick I picked up stealing cars"
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
The best financial advice I got was from a dog, namely, "Don't poodle your eggs in one basket."
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BlobStarrrr @blobstar.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Blooming toxically, like super algae
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Tusk Jenkins @tuskjenkins.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Crushing cans on my head until I feel all the loneliness of voices ignored and still crying out. Is it me? Have I really done it this time? I facepalm on a message. The only way to get a hold of you these days please call me love mom
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JSlow @jslow.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
ngligl
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teq @quilling.dev · 01/10/2026
ngl, Im gonna lie
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My many enemies will be pleased to know that I've somehow got both hands and both feet stuck in 4 separate jars
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Kip Conlon @kipconlon.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Everyone smiles when I tell them I was attacked by a Labradoodle.
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geist, now with double the hauntings @prettyvulgar.bsky.social · 03/11/2025
I just wanna live my life with the carefree ignorance of a handsome person who’s had too many concussions and the reckless confidence of someone with a comfortable retirement plan.
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 05/10/2026
you'd like to schedule a doctor's appointment? have you logged into MyHealthChart yet? Remember that MyHealthChart used to be Healbe. If you migrated your chart from Healbe Now or Healbe Epic, you are not eligible to make an account. Please make note Healbe Epic is formerly MyHealthChartRX.
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
In the 80s, smoking was considered an inheritance.
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
All good things are a little out of tune
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