Reposted by Fats GordoTred @tredlocity.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Cartoon wolves used to be horny for human women. But now human women are horny for cartoon wolves. The reason? Woke. 4044821271
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Spookiest decoration I've ever seen was my neighbor who spray painted PLAY NICE on his garage about 4 months before Halloween 041
Reposted by Fats Gordo𝕃𝕦𝕔𝕒𝕧𝕚 ⓘ Rude 🐈 @lucavi.bsky.social · 01/10/2026It is too late, I have already depicted myself as the άνθρωπος ίσχυρός and you as the άνθρωπος παρθένος 🫵 161755316
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Its spooky season. Celebrate by standing a bit too close to a stranger 021
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 02/10/2026Here's the thing: apart from the death and the organ removal, I bet getting mummified is pretty cozy 140
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 01/10/2026(Dr. Frankenstein kicking open the door of a shady motel) I said get a brain, Igor! *A* brain! 020
Reposted by Fats GordoMichaela Joffe @joffeorama.bsky.social · 30/09/2026not sure why I made this but now you have to see it 10895263632
Reposted by Fats GordoJon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 29/09/2026i wish baseball teams could resolve their differences without resorting to baseball 432556578
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 28/09/2026Saw a pedestrian with an iced coffee and immediately locked my car doors 1101
Reposted by Fats Gordovic-or-squeak!! ᓚᘏᕐᐷ @gizmouse.bsky.social · 25/09/2026i love this video so much i whipped up an english subtitled version real quick so everyone can appreciate it 4951482071
Reposted by Fats GordoOregon 🕎🎲 @oregonthedm.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Most riveting thing I've seen all week 385113233078
Reposted by Fats GordoTokusatsu GIFs @tokugifs.bsky.social · 20/09/2026Sekai Ninja Sen Jiraiya (1988) Episode 19 11996410
Reposted by Fats GordoBathroom Barry @bathroombarry.bsky.social · 25/09/2026At work texting my wife because I miss her 081
Reposted by Fats Gordomindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Every 2-3 years my cat absorbs enough ambient psionic energy to emit a powerful beam that obliterates everything in a 12-mile radius. Apart from that she's a good girl 8415119
Reposted by Fats Gordogamera obscura october edition @ohrobin.bsky.social · 19/09/2026incredibly well-done resident evil teaser from a movie theater 80169375730
Reposted by Fats GordoCullen @hellocullen.bsky.social · 18/09/2026the much more disturbing "reverse pagliacci" where a clown tells you you should go see a doctor 8354191209
Reposted by Fats GordoAnnie @femalecenobite.bsky.social · 18/09/2026I would rather be hit by a bike than a car. And it would be an honor to get hit by a bus 5757103
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 18/09/2026Technically I'm part of the English royal line. If everyone else in England dies, I'll be king 020
Reposted by Fats Gordoold uncle BATface @catfacejoe.bsky.social · 17/09/2026is the jimono too formal for this party, babe? 47317
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 17/09/2026If we do enough linear algebra, we will build Jesus Christ. And He will be evil. So very evil 022
Reposted by Fats GordoJerry Chen @jcsalterego.bsky.social · 12/09/2026"it's called a courtesy like. when you reply to a post you should like the post you're replying to first. it's just common decency" 4297358
Reposted by Fats Gordomerr-itt came from outer space @merrittk.com · 07/09/2026Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony 133297597
Reposted by Fats GordoBathroom Barry @bathroombarry.bsky.social · 06/09/2026If you use some of the car parts scattered around your yard as makeshift dildos, you might be the Pervy Redneck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 091
Reposted by Fats GordoHot-Bones.bsky.social @hot-bones.bsky.social · 06/09/2026On our next true crime podcast, we’re investigating the infamous Radio Star killing. Was Video the real murderer? Recently discovered evidence suggests otherwise. Featuring special guest: some YouTuber who’s name you kinda recognize. 131
Reposted by Fats GordoIan Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 04/09/2026I was trying to find an art asset for a client and instead unearthed this dumb thing I made back in the twitter days 252459276
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 04/09/2026AI rights are the same as Palestinian rights. Unless you don't like Palestinian rights, then they're like Israeli rights 150
Reposted by Fats GordoUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 04/09/2026they’ll figure it out if they get hungry enough 8983862025
Reposted by Fats GordoBetter Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 20/09/2025Checking the "No food poisoning" box on DoorDash but it raises my price by $2 so I frown and uncheck it 212756293
Reposted by Fats GordoCrushed @silenttakedown.bsky.social · 02/09/2026yeah sure whatever, let lara croft cook potato stew on her phone for 2m0s of damage resistance who gives a shit anymore 15276531886
Reposted by Fats GordoVeGOREpunk AuHORROR @vegapunk-aurora.bsky.social · 01/09/2026*Mr Beast voice* I HELPED THIS WOMAN TURN A ROOM FULL OF STRAW INTO GOLD USING ONLY A SPINNING WHEEL! IF SHE CAN'T GUESS MY NAME IN THREE DAYS, I'M TAKING HER BABY! 3071721854
Reposted by Fats GordoRawhide Kobayashi @rawhidekobe.bsky.social · 01/09/2026Hard week already but we must persevere 1274
Reposted by Fats GordoPile Of Garbage @pileofgarbage.net · 01/09/2026I love how Werner Herzog is ALWAYS like this: 10869471793
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 31/08/2026As an older millenial, I still have this 90's era urge to train teenagers to be ninjas 251
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 30/08/2026They're doing a Magic Schoolbus on me. I can't eat for the next 24 hours 131
Reposted by Fats GordoL @banalplay.bsky.social · 30/04/2023It's 1925. I'm leanin' against this lamppost on the lookout for dames who are lookin for trouble. I start flipping a quarter. I catch her eye. I fumble the quarter and it rolls into a sewer grate. I have lost the equivalent of thirty thousand dollars. 315137873
Reposted by Fats Gordocomfort foods @primpker.bsky.social · 28/08/2026This is my plan for New Year's Day too. 1391
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Now give us the option to force our posts onto non followers Discover feeds 020
Fats Gordo @fatsgord.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Do you know why they call it Norway? Because Neitherway was already taken. The block button's right there. Or you can come to my house and hit me with a pipe 030
Reposted by Fats GordoRawhide Kobayashi @rawhidekobe.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Need to uncover an ancient Chinese scroll of infinite money so I don't have to go to work tomorrow. I would also like the scroll to perform fellatio on me 2282
![(Texts to my wife)
I'm asking Gollum to do impressions
Of his co-stars
For example I'll say
Gollum, do Hugo Weaving
[Screenshot of Gollum looking like Hugo Weaving]
Ok now Gollum is gonna do his
impression of Ellah wood
[Screenshot of Gollum looking all wide-eyed and doing a weird smile]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:gyryiaywyufqxzbe36pn4jfv/bafkreicyh7n3yct44klxeq57j6uaq5aeytmu2yzz7xrlumusc7nj3pxrqm)
![Me: Sweet now how about Liv Tvler
[Screenshot of Gollum making a weird face]
Wife: Okay okay
Now RBG!
Me: [Screenshot of Gollum making another weird face]
Wife: LMA00000000000](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:gyryiaywyufqxzbe36pn4jfv/bafkreifh6mxq72rzr3uajk3ncs7vnyitejofoxhb3cvsb5vm5e2vluswxu)
![Me: Really good stuff. Now for something a little different. Do an impression of my cat after being yelled at trying to get in the cabinet
[Screenshot of Gollum crouched making a weird squinty hissy bitchy face]
Okay now do an impression of my
wife in the bedroom
[Screenshot of Gollum looking blurry and possessed with his eyes rolled back in his head and his mouth open in a screaming “O” shape]
Wife: Okay that’s enough](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:gyryiaywyufqxzbe36pn4jfv/bafkreigcfiz2cdrjjdmyfonxhycc327o62cmeuy2jbzsgalpni7hiaihhy)
