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Dontwannasay

@crustysand.bsky.social
194 followers 793 following 315 posts
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Reposted by Dontwannasay
🕸️ @holojester.bsky.social · 14/10/2025
your dad got me pregnant again
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Chames @overlooked237.bsky.social · 20/07/2024
been standing in this Kmart layaway line since 1997
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
But first, let’s order up vengeance and retribution for all the things Charlie Kirk said and did. God I loathe these people
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
God I loathe these ppl … and the people in their families who agreed to disagree and let mommy and daddy expose their grandkids to Fox News and racists all day because hey! Free daycare! Christmas!
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
This is what they really mean every time they open their mouths: “We are in the process of the second American Revolution, which will remain bloodless if the left allows it to be," said by Kevin Roberts, the president of the Heritage Foundation, in early July 2024.
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
Just a reminder of what is going on: “We are in the process of the second American Revolution, which will remain bloodless if the left allows it to be," said by Kevin Roberts, the president of the Heritage Foundation, in early July 2024.
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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 09/09/2025
Fisting handfuls of loose asphalt into my mouth like they're Oreo cookie crumbles.
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
You never win when they mess up a fast food order. Never an extra expensive burrito. It’s “oh we gave you a bean burrito instead of your chicken chalupa, and six tasteless chips with cheese instead of your $7.50 nachosbellgrande.” Why is that? Never the other way around. The house always wins.
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Brie @brielikethechhes.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
Maybe one day my floaters will spell out messages
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
One problem living in the Coachella Valley is the rare decently paid professional jobs get taken by some already wealthy person from NY who is like, I’ll take this full time job just for play money, I’m bored. It’s like second homes and airbnbs. Takes money to make money and true locals get screwed.
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Jimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
People who dance upon my grave will just be following a request in my will.
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 04/09/2025
These days even people with big accounts have contempt for their audiences. They’ll post “I wish I could go get a beer.” And people will start saying “go to a bar!” And then OP will shout I KNOW I COULD GO TO A BAR! DUH! GAWD, TINA! Nice well it is clear you are not here for engagement.
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 04/09/2025
Your beeping smoke detector is not just your problem - it is your neighbor’s problem, too. The longer you let it go, the angrier they get and the less likely they are to be nice about your unfitness for air.
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Shade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 01/09/2025
Most of my boner posts are evergreen.
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Dominic Caruso @dominiccaruso1.bsky.social · 30/08/2025
Greedily absorbing the ambience at your party by drinking the melted wax directly from the decorative candle in the table centerpiece.
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little lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 12/08/2025
Letting my runny peanut butter stream out of my mouth onto my neck and chest as a status signifier
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The Art of Asty @theartofasty.bsky.social · 09/08/2025
Are Americans aware that down here in Mexico we’ve been getting bombarded for months with ads of Kristi Noem telling us to our face that we’re out welcome in the US, and that these ads even found their way into our national TV broadcasts Because I feel like I have seen nobody mention it
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Marjorie James Keenan @unenthusiast.com · 01/08/2025
live action catbus looking pretty sweet
orange cat lying on floor with square lights reflected on his flank that resembles lit windows
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 22/07/2025
The custody hearing was going great until my puppet started masturbating
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Tressie McMillan Cottom @tressiemcphd.bsky.social · 21/07/2025
Your ChatGPT prompts just aren’t interesting. Really, a mother should have told you this but here we are. It needs to be said.
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 21/07/2025
i decide how much i am going to tip by how gently the waitstaff wakes me when they bring my food
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 20/07/2025
The Visibly Young
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
you: *saying words* me: this is a lot
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
After a bitter divorce, and her very public nervous breakdown at a London night club, Flüf returns with her most personal album yet. 𝘞𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘌𝘨𝘨𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 drops this Friday. The first single, the visceral “Pluck You,” is available on all major streaming services.
A moody glamour shot of a fluffy gray chicken in a grayscale setting.
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Paul Burley @paulburley.bsky.social · 06/07/2025
Sorry, The Algorithm. You have me confused with someone else. #HyacinthBucketApproved
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🍀 Clover Kiss Cinema @cloverkisscinema.club · 06/07/2025
Movie Factz: "Footloose" is actually a debilitating muscle condition, but the producers decided that would have been too depressing to film.
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Georgia the Explorer 🇨🇦 @georgiatheexplorer.bsky.social · 05/07/2025
Setting up my Casio keyboard on the sidewalk so I can play my bangers for the neighbours
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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
One must imagine Sisyphus with a competitive salary
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
Go sit in a restaurant. Make intense eye contact with someone and pick your nose.
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Lock Wilford @lockwilford.com · 29/06/2025
I'd let him Smurf me
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Fomo Simpson @haliphacks.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
When the birds sing at 4 am it's "beautiful" and "a part of nature" but when I do it, it's all "shut up or I'll call the cops" and "why is it always Bell Biv Devoe."
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Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
Ugh. Blocked again. I’m getting sick and tired of updating my will.
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al-boo @captainacabairbud.myatproto.social · 28/06/2025
rip mister ed you were the glue that held us all together. you still are, but just in a different way now
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Skip “Skippy” Skipperson @yippyskippy.bsky.social · 28/06/2025
Cold, black coffee on a cool, gray morning
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
I ate 3,700 calories of donuts last night. Today I have a sugar hangover that rivals alcohol hangovers I barely survived.
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 18/04/2025
The Palm Springs Life Extension and Skin Rejuvenation Institute This exists.
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U.S. Figure Skating @usfigureskating.bsky.social · 19/06/2025
On this day in 1865, the last enslaved people in the United States learned of their freedom in Galveston, Texas. Today, we pause to remember, reflect and recommit to the ongoing pursuit of freedom and justice for all. #Juneteenth
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Let Luigi Cook @yellownumber5.bsky.social · 16/06/2025
Nobody talks about how gross drunk people are until they go to AA
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 15/06/2025
An intoxicated person on a live broadcast is one of my favorite situations to watch. 🍿
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
I mean
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Robert Loerzel @robertloerzel.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
Coyote pups at Graceland Cemetery!
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Dog Eggs @zerodynamic.bsky.social · 10/06/2025
my doctor says I've been masturbating too hard and that's why my wiener fell off
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Dontwannasay @crustysand.bsky.social · 10/06/2025
Me: I am in a bad mood Therapist (Mr. Jones): what caused it, when did it start Me: when I opened Bluesky
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j @dyke.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
flash your boobs at people it's fun for everyone involved
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J HELL P @jlp.systems · 07/06/2025
ⓘ Adult Continent
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