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Aidan Wake

@aidanwake.bsky.social
3.4K followers 3.9K following 5.8K posts

Just A Dude in the American Dystopia - - Prince of Tides - Building Mysteries - - Adults Only - 🪦 Twitter, not on X 🌕🐺🌑

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🦊 🩵🐦‍⬛ Fox & Crow, for Bartleby Endeavors 🎥 @foxy99.bsky.social · 11h
When I die my buttplug will shoot out at terrifying speed to be followed by a large mound of violets.
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Moby Dick @mobydickatsea.bsky.social · 12h
Yea, foolish mortals, Noah’s flood is not yet subsided; two thirds of the fair world it yet covers.
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Mitchy Mitch @strykie187.bsky.social · 11h
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Resident Warren G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Me: So what are you planning after you finish your residency? Evil:
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 11h
Imagine it in a more pissed drunk David Attenborough accent, 🥳
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 12h
Horrible spine m’lord, dare I say built as shittily as your trucks <coughs>
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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
I've decided that half-assing things is too much, so I'm cutting back to quarter-assing
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Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 20/09/2025
How can I skeet at a time like this.
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sleepynaut @grovewalker.bsky.social · 14h
photo of werner herzog with a speech bubble added so that it looks like he is saying the quoted post
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 12h
If anyone finds my ventriloquist dummy, please return it to me, ideally before he goes on one of his murderous rampages.
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🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
Who up ironing they maiden
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 12h
Eisenhower
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 12h
mf builds spines as well as he does cars - many ppl are saying
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Solomon @solomonrmissouri.com · 12h
We must all suffer and behold our big backed overlord
static.klipy.com
Fire Elmo
ALT: Fire Elmo
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 12h
Again, I maintain this is why ass whippings should be applied to adults when deserved.
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Solomon @solomonrmissouri.com · 15h
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 12h
I volunteer as tribute
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Lydia! ⭐ @lydiastaremoji.bsky.social · 17h
liberty mutual advertisement induced psychosis
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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 12h
This reminds me of that one time that things also completely sucked.
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TwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 12h
aren’t we all just avoiding life while waiting for life
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 12h
I’m sorry – I need to take this call. It’s my undertaker
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🧩 @holojester.bsky.social · 12h
do you ever put your pajamas on in the dark and wake up wearing oven mitts and a tortilla?
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 17h
“but it’s national coffee day” i sob, after the barista refuses to put me through the bean grinder
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Phil @distillation.bsky.social · 13h
Dog and deer conversation

Henlo mr forest boy
What's up house wolf
Free boops today
My lucky day frendo
Being alive is heckn swell
doggosdoingthings.
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Brent Crude @my2bits4u.bsky.social · 13h
How's the reflecting pool?
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Coffee&CannabisClub-𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐊𝐜𝐮𝐟 @coffeecannabisclub.bsky.social · 13h
Why is the government worried about their privacy while selling yours to the lowest bidder?
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Leeroystarr @leeroystarr.bsky.social · 13h
I went to a restaurant called Karma, there’s no menu, you just get what you deserve.
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🎃 Ryan S. Pumpkins 🎃 (Any Questions?) @ryanwritesgood.bsky.social · 13h
<slaps the side of an iron maiden> This baby right here, takes a little more effort on your part but the screams are so much more satisfying
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Lindsey Botts @lkbotts.bsky.social · 14h
Junk science strikes again! 🌎
sierraclub.org
Can Killing Wolves Save the Beef Industry?
Experts warn that a new executive order meant to help ranchers won't actually work
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 13h
We allow large cats to bat them in
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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 13h
Little guy got all fucked up on schnapps and now he can't get out of my backyard
An alien Grey being shot at night through a fence, it is putting its hand up like it's trying to shield it's eyes from the light of the camera
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Resident Warren G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Reminder you cannot spell CHRIST without CIS and HRT
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 13h
<slaps the side of a volcano> You can fit so many rapists in here
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ZomBean @bigbeannrg.bsky.social · 15h
That feeling when you stretch yourself into another dimension
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Resident Warren G. Harding @popeawesomexiii.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
A commercial for butter played in front of a YouTube video and it ended with the tagline "Eat it like you own it" and folks, I am not getting into heaven.
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 16h
yeah, i know what’s going on that’s the problem
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𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔏𝔬𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢 @fleurkenstein.bsky.social · 13h
I prefer uncut men because nothing feels better on a cold winters night than snuggling up in the old foreskin 🤌🏼
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Old School Gentleman @oldschoolgentl1.bsky.social · 14h
I grew up in the 70s when actions still had consequences. If I ever laid my hands on a woman, I would have gotten my arm broken.
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Lizzy @stonedeva.bsky.social · 15h
On Tuesdays, we flounce.
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The Onion @theonion.com · 09/09/2025
It Only Tuesday theonion.com/it-only-tuesday-181956…
It Only Tuesday
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no great matter @itsabigail.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
imagine being Case Keenum, being 38 years old, playing in an NFL game for the first time in years, you’re tired as shit, and then you gotta run to the radio station to record American Top 40
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Outspoken™️ @out5p0ken.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Black folks don’t hang themselves from trees.
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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
After extensive research and a sufficiently large sample size, I’ve determined that I don’t like men anymore.
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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
A WEREWOLF WHO TURNS ON THE WAXING CRESCENT MOON: Haha guys i just realized what tonight is and we kinda need to solve this escape room faster
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
toasted with butter and frosted ofc
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anton lestrange @hugemclarge.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
you can posit whatever position you like. the fact remains that brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts are the only true path to enlightenment
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
No, I’m not posting another selfie if that is how you’re gonna be. I’m not a piece of meat Chad.
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Aidan Wake @aidanwake.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
<takes a drag off of cigarette> Me: (thoughtfully) look I’d feel much better about everything if I woke up at age 12 tomorrow, all I’m saying. Therapist: …I think we’d a lot of us would wish for a do-over. M: Crazy we build a society where the collective conscious screams for a reset. T: …
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Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 29/09/2026
Sorry I just need to take a few years to think about everything
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