Sign in

Ukridge

@ukridge.bsky.social
20 followers 35 following 130 posts
PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Ukridge
Bob Wehadababyitsaboy @followers4algernon.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I was masking in a lesbian bar, oh, oh I was masking in a lesbian bar, ooh, ooh, ooh
626526
Reposted by Ukridge
pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I believe there is a 10% chance that in the near future all of humanity will be wiped out by quicksand, as one by one everyone enters the quicksand to pull out the last person who got stuck in the quicksand
2680363
Reposted by Ukridge
alix e. harrow @alixeharrow.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
i don't like to police genre, but it's not dark academia unless somebody gets squished in one of these bad boys
those rolling stacks you'll find in any big state school library
1515347737
Ukridge @ukridge.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
Norm Macdonald as Larry King with a speech bubble
010
Reposted by Ukridge
Sandhya Dirks @audiosand.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
On a downtown street in Minneapolis, as people stream out from the massive march, Mary Tyler Moore says “fuck ice.”
A picture of the Mary Tyler Moore statue in downtown Minneapolis, depicting the iconic moment from the show where she throws her hat in the air. But the hat has been covered over with a protesters cardboard sign, reading “FUCK ICE.”
97121812769
Reposted by Ukridge
Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 03/01/2026
The Meanies have successfully captured the leader of Pepperland. Bonkers have successfully made several kinetic strikes with giant apples and the three-headed dog followed by the sentient piano has suppressed the local musicians who fought back
1331624
Reposted by Ukridge
It’s a floor wax and a dessert topping! @pipercat.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
09318
Reposted by Ukridge
DVS @dvsblast.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
COSTUME 2: GUY ON YOUR BLOCK WHO DONT KNOW BOUT NO "HALLOWEEN", HE JUST GOT OFF WORK
114245
Reposted by Ukridge
Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 27/10/2025
You’d never catch one of these coddled kids nowadays “working in the lab late one night.” And the only thing their eyes are beholding is their damn phone
11798124
Reposted by Ukridge
derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
before and after hegseth's directive
Sean Connery is a red strapped outfit. He's very hairy. William Shatner as Captain Kirk. He's in a black strapped outfit and has a smooth chest.
1136717958
Ukridge @ukridge.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
What if Seinfeld still today
A Truth Social post by Donald Trump reading "What's with Russia violating Poland's airspace with drones? Here we go!
020
Reposted by Ukridge
bathroom @bathroom.bsky.social · 26/07/2023
welcome to the bathroom
9149672406
Reposted by Ukridge
Chris Person @papapishu.bsky.social · 13/05/2025
Kool Aid Man used to say “Oh Yeah!” Now they burst through the wall saying “They/Them!”
228820
Reposted by Ukridge
pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 09/03/2025
If Paul McCartney dies first, Ringo should immediately announce a new lineup of the Beatles
34010229723
Reposted by Ukridge
The thread o’ tweets @threadotweets.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
>
bennett
@ImagineAGuy
guy who only knew jesus
professionally: Honey, did you hear they CRUCIFIED our
CARPENTER???
59110181495
Reposted by Ukridge
Mike Scollins @mikescollins.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
Wish I were one of Elon's kids so I'd never see him again
140216633907
Reposted by Ukridge
The thread o’ tweets @threadotweets.bsky.social · 24/02/2025
wint @dril
CHIEF: dracula is in our sights. Take
the shot!
SNIPER: I can't, Sir. I'm Woke! ME (watching through binoculars):
He's woke! He wont do it!
054862
Reposted by Ukridge
Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff.bsky.social · 10/02/2025
Drake rn:
66167372065
Reposted by Ukridge
john JASON saeteroy @johnjasonsaeteroy.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
131791448
Reposted by Ukridge
leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
SOCRATES: I am wiser than this man; he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing— DARRYL, SOCRATES' FRIEND (Editor's note: There is no historical evidence that Socrates actually had a friend named Darryl. This is likely a character invented to facilitate the joke.): fuck him up socrates
584536915
Reposted by Ukridge
The thread o’ tweets @threadotweets.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
gale na @poisonjr

john's solo work: my mind is soft and gay i flee and fly away
george's solo work: won't you look her in your eye, i see me see you see my cry
ringo's solo work: sexy lady mimi made her a martini
paul's solo work: [beautiful baroque intro] a lorry backed over me foot (me foot)
134238
Reposted by Ukridge
Mike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 16/01/2025
My "Not involved in human trafficking" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.
292707311
Reposted by Ukridge
The thread o’ tweets @threadotweets.bsky.social · 30/12/2024
wint @dril
id like uh...medium, w/ pepperoni, sausage and onion. just to piss off the trolls. id like a 2-liter of coke to piss off the trolls as well,
436018
Reposted by Ukridge
alexandra @bigmoodenergy.bsky.social · 28/12/2024
here come old laptop he come bootin up slowly he got broken touchpad he need one more update he got no space on this pc one thing i can tell you its got no warranty
362208744373
Reposted by Ukridge
The thread o’ tweets @threadotweets.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
wint
@dril
ME: ill take.. one Cruisp bird w/ extra
bird sauce please
KFC CLERK: Huh?
ME: (gives him the Wink of Irony) KFC CLERK: Ah! The Wink of Irony
01918
Reposted by Ukridge
Marie (same one) @marieberd.bsky.social · 07/07/2023
Doctor Who is like if all the school bullies got together and performed a cruel sketch about what nerds like
9986125
Reposted by Ukridge
Sean T. Collins @seantcollins.com · 05/11/2024
LARRY: Wait a second wait a second. A goblin is a type of orc? LEON: A small orc, Larry. You gotta be tiny to qualify for that shit. In that mountain pass? Bilbo and company just so happened to reach a town of short-ass orcs
211116
Reposted by Ukridge
pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 25/10/2024
I think it’s tragic that John Lennon didn’t survive his shooting (giving us more years of his wonderful music) then die in 9/11 (sparing us his 9/11 tribute song)
341617100
Reposted by Ukridge
wint @dril.bsky.social · 22/10/2024
again the rivers run black with black face as halloween 2024 rears its Racial head. Thankfully Ill be staying home, solving the Rubiks Cube.
263494250
Reposted by Ukridge
Gore Vidal Sassoon @jimmyjazz1968.bsky.social · 21/10/2024
231741445
Reposted by Ukridge
Amazing Digital Carcass @amagire.bsky.social · 08/10/2024
google 2012: here's how to make tacos google 2018: here's where to BUY tacos NEAR ME google 2024: hard shell tacos are made from fried corn tortillas, while soft shell tacos are medium or large freshwater turtles with oval-shaped shells covered by skin
55116353164
Reposted by Ukridge
wint @dril.bsky.social · 09/10/2024
the lottery is rigged against Polish men
241142109
Reposted by Ukridge
Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 01/04/2024
81943583
Reposted by Ukridge
wint @dril.bsky.social · 06/02/2024
I do not Fucking recall them asking the blue sky elders permission to open registration to commoners .
395190383599
Reposted by Ukridge
Telephone Friend @ironyhat.bsky.social · 26/01/2024
I think I just saw the opposite of a stork
8561171523
Reposted by Ukridge
Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 20/01/2024
Accidentally said “Shirley” instead of “Siri” and now my phone is stuck in Airplane mode
582249482
Reposted by Ukridge
Death and Gravity @bushidosquirrel.bsky.social · 09/01/2024
Uber: we can't make money if we have to follow the law Google: we can't make money if we're not allowed to be a monopoly Nestle: we can't make money without using slave labor OpenAI: we can't make money if we can't steal media: should shoplifters be executed?
55109574869
Reposted by Ukridge
DC Pierson @dcpierson.bsky.social · 02/12/2023
“THERE’S GEORGE SANTOS! HE’S GETTING AWAY!”
Pic of George Santos in press scrum surrounded by cameras and mics with his mouth wide open like he is singing or saying something
231921288
Reposted by Ukridge
June Lewins @joonloons.bsky.social · 01/12/2023
Do not go gentle into that good night
6960691732
Reposted by Ukridge
Todd 'Papi' Carlos @thetoddwilliams.bsky.social · 17/11/2023
TOM PETTY: I won't back down TOM OPEN-MINDED: I'd consider backing down
91347339
Reposted by Ukridge
geoffrey @parsnip.bsky.social · 16/11/2023
ibm saying "we will not do business with this nazi sympathizer contracted by the united states government" must be a fun full circle moment for them
251381344
Reposted by Ukridge
Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 01/10/2023
I think the best response I've seen to AI anything has been, "Why should I bother reading something that nobody could be bothered to write"
5077713115