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Amber

@thatsnotamber.bsky.social
1.4K followers 607 following 368 posts

I wrote a really funny intro and accidentally didn't save it. I didn't want to leave this part blank.

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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
🤣
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
🤣 idk but I'm not buying
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I mean, not bad?
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
You missed out
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
We needed to do a test ECG, but the bra could have stayed on
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Anyone else have their boss remove all her clothes from the waist up today in the office? Just me? Cool
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Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Libra: Congratulations! You’re one day closer to dying alone and having your corpse eaten by your cats!
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
🫂🫂🫂
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Sorrowscopes @sorrowscopes.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Libra: The first step is admitting you have a problem. The next step is doing nothing about it.
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
The dogs are presenting a PowerPoint presentation that eating the cats poop is an example of a symbiotic relationship in nature, but I'm skeptical. I'll hear them out though.
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Also I haven't had a glass of water be "mine". These little cute jerks
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Living with 2 cats and 3 kittens - 2 weeks later googling - how to train your cats to use the toilet like that movie
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Sound on for the cutest baby meow ever
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Cheer up guys raw cookie dough is now at least as safe as most fresh produce
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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 28/02/2024
ME: hell yeah I’m into Dune 2. Dune 2 others as you’d have them Dune 2 you! JESUS: *descends from heaven* stop that
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
My brother moved back in with me. I'm not entirely unhappy - it's nice to have him around. 4 cats came with him - 3 of them kittens, so that forgives all sins.
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Happy birthday! 🎂
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✧𝔰𝔭𝔬𝔬𝔨𝔶 𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
chasing after my cats with a brush yelling “let mommy love you!!”
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
The alt text is what blue sky is about. This deserves all the likes/reposts
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Radical Graffiti @radicalgraffiti.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Anti-ICE sticker spotted in Tempe, Arizona
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Radical Graffiti @radicalgraffiti.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
"Ai isn't a tool it is a weapon" Scratched into a wall near a tesla outlet in Liverpool, UK
"Ai isn't a tool it is a weapon"
Scratched into a wall
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Chefs kiss to the alt text- I laughed out loud.
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
The alt text is art- and why I'm on bluesky- chefs kiss
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
The alt text 🤣
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
🤣
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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 07/08/2026
I treat life like a math problem: I quickly give up and never figure it out
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 08/08/2026
Great job!!!!
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River Side Casino @riversidecasino.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
We finally found our elf on the shelf, in case you were wondering about the yellow police tape.
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Grimm (My Normal Name Is My Halloween Name, Duh) @grimmreality.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
[movie or tv show introduces a dog] Me: YOU MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER NOT KILL THAT DOG OR I WILL CLIMB THROUGH THIS FUCKING TV I SWEAR TO GOD
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
🤮
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
He STILL laughs about it, it was like 12 years ago
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
One time, my brother saved his nail clippings for almost a year and then mailed them to me in an envelope.
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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 26/06/2026
pretty devastating dunk at the end of this paragraph
But the tender sheen over the event quickly dissipated last month when a hodgepodge of musicians booked for live performances backed out at the last minute, saying they were not informed that the Freedom 250 festivities would have a political tilt. Several states also announced they would not participate. In the eleventh hour, the president declared he would headline the fair himself: He was introduced at a rally Wednesday night by transportation secretary Sean Duffy, who started by eschewing the "libtards that canceled on us." When Trump finally took the stage, he lauded America as the "hottest" nation in the world. "Nobody's laughing at us anymore," said the man filling in for Milli Vanilli.
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Sean Thomason @seanthomason.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
The crazy thing is that for most of my life I would go ten, fifteen, sometimes even thirty minutes at a time without thinking about the Reflecting Pool.
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Cosmically Funny @cosmicallyf.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Me: So I feed it blood, and it gives me lotto numbers? Nurse: No. It's a glucose meter. It measures blood glucose.
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
British guy: Lots of the same last names in this Austria v Argentina tilt, curious innit
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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Name a TV show you’re positive no one remembers but you
Poster for the 70s tv show Barbary coast starring William Shatner and Doug McClure
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
*nodding*(googles how to say thank you in Italian) Gratzi- I'm ready 🤣
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
What is the universe trying to tell me? In the last month: the upstairs neighbors flooded my hallway bath. Friday: My toilet fill valve broke and flooded my bathroom and closet, and today, my refrigerator stopped doing its job. It's burn it to the ground and move to Italy, right?
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🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
Life hack: eat 2 corn dogs and now you have a pair of chopsticks
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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
My new car has lots of fancy technology in it. Just now I put it in reverse and it showed a video of some lady getting run over by a car.
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 07/06/2026
I send out signs of life (replying to Instagram videos) to my friends and family on Saturdays.
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FR🎃 V🎃 @frovo.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
GOOD COP: we need to question the suspect in the bookstore robbery PUN COP: let's do this *lowers shades* buy the book GOOD COP: you just wait here
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God @thegodshow.com · 14/05/2026
Why do people hate Democratic Socialism when it so clearly works? You just tax a few obnoxious, power-mad billionaires (Musk, O’Leary, etc.) and make life better for millions. CAN I GET A FREAKING AMEN? THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 13/05/2026
M: that’s O: not R: how O: acronyms N: work
A poster in a dining room titled "In the Dining room We: R.O.A.R." lists rules: "Clean up after ourselves, Use our time wisely, Use manners, Listen to adult." Includes an illustration of a cartoon cougar wearing clothes.
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
Fun fact: I sleep walk. This week has been especially bad but I noticed today that one of my outside flip flops is missing. Just one lone flop by the door. I can't find its fellow anywhere. Im living a true forgetting Sarah Marshall moment which normally I'd find hilarious youtu.be/Uh2N0TfV8cE?...
youtu.be
Russell Brand Forgetting Sarah Marshall Lost a Shoe
YouTube video by perkypeter
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Amber @thatsnotamber.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
Luckily this was during the grace period of the new speed cameras. But damn city of Phoenix legit caught me speeding
A warning ticket from the city saying I was going 52mph on a 35mph street
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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
(snuggling with my cat when she gets a look in her eye) are you about to bite me cat: prrhaps
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