iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

You should be able to get out of speeding tickets by describing how the song you were listening to made you feel

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Just know, when I die, my chalk outline added 10 pounds.

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Lionella @lionella.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

how can I trust you if you run away every time I untie you

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Juiceticles @juiceticles.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I hydrate so you don't have to

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Sure my life is one step up, two steps back. But think of all the extra steps I'm getting on my Fitbit!

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Have you ever gone to someone's TimeLine, forget and think you're just scrolling your regular TL, then start liking and Re-Posting a bunch of Posts but realize too late that none were from that person because theirs were all awful? Well, someone just did it to me.

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alias goes here @meanoldbitch.bsky.social · 19/10/2024

Person: So, how would you describe yourself? Me: Verbally, I guess.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Had their financial situations been reversed and the breaks in their career paths gone a different way, we might very well have been drinking MR. Pepper and DR. Pibb.

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Me, sitting alone in a room with my thoughts Thoughts: Could you maybe sit somewhere else?

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

Ask for just the lead blanket treatment, though insurance won't cover it.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

The closest I've got to a hug this year is when I snuggled under the lead blanket when my dentist took x-rays. 🫤

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Here's a fave that died. Cheers! bsky.app/profile/lanc...

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 26/09/2026

Around these parts it's called Skeeturday, the day we reply to contest posts like this one with a link to one of our own skeets or a friend's skeet. Multiple judges will be awarding their favorites with a shiny trophy from @fancytrophyaccount.bsky.social! Like and repost this skeet or else.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Watching this Texas-Tennessee game, and I hope a player in an 86 jersey doesn't stand next to someone in a 47 jersey or they're gonna get arrested.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Instead of turning these empty stores into Spirit Halloweens for the fall, let's bring back a few Blockbusters.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I tell ya, you can never know what's gonna happen in life. Why, just this morning I got a job reading people's fortunes!

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Red Herring Bear @qutzupalotl.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

This, too, shall pass. Like a kidney stone

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 05/11/2024

is that a corn dog in your pocket or are you just another fool without an emergency corn dog

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I just saw the sexiest woman ever on the city bus, and the fact she was riding public transpo kind of made her hotter. Anyway, the Metro signs say, "when you see something, say something."

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

This joke is already doing better than I expected.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Today is the first night of fall, and after a few drinks I'll have my first fall of the night!

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I'm trying again, but with a fake mustache.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

[I walk into a bar in the middle of the day] ME: It's five o'clock somewhere! [Several drinks later...] BARTENDER: Okay, you've had enough. ME: What? It's still light out! BARTENDER: Well, it's 2am somewhere!

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

The first rule of Overexplaining Club is you do not talk about Overexplaining Club because this is a secret club and we want it to stay a secret, but if you talk about it then people will know it exists, thus ruining the secrecy.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Do not mistake my kindness for weakness. Instead mistake it for me not having a raging case of diarrhea. And, completely off the subject, my good friend, may I please kindly use your restroom?

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Lizzlepants 🐒 @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

let’s burn that bridge when we get to it

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

It is not my business to find Waldo. I am already busy not starting forest fires.

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Skellyton 🦇 @infinitefinite.blog · 01/11/2025

You can pry the Oxford Comma from my cold, dead, and third adjective hands.

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

an uber driver wearing sock puppets on both hands that talk to each other about how bad the steering wheel tastes your whole ride

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Organic, free range, cage free, paid a living wage chickens or I’ll just have the ethically mashed potatoes

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

"What if I've been lied to all along," he wondered. "What if that girl I've been talking to on the internet -- who most likely is a guy -- hasn't been 'laughing out loud' at all."

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 13/09/2026