iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 21h

The closest I've got to a hug this year is when I snuggled under the lead blanket when my dentist took x-rays. 🫤

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 26/09/2026

Around these parts it's called Skeeturday, the day we reply to contest posts like this one with a link to one of our own skeets or a friend's skeet. Multiple judges will be awarding their favorites with a shiny trophy from @fancytrophyaccount.bsky.social! Like and repost this skeet or else.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Watching this Texas-Tennessee game, and I hope a player in an 86 jersey doesn't stand next to someone in a 47 jersey or they're gonna get arrested.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Instead of turning these empty stores into Spirit Halloweens for the fall, let's bring back a few Blockbusters.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I tell ya, you can never know what's gonna happen in life. Why, just this morning I got a job reading people's fortunes!

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Red Herring Bear @qutzupalotl.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

This, too, shall pass. Like a kidney stone

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 05/11/2024

is that a corn dog in your pocket or are you just another fool without an emergency corn dog

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I just saw the sexiest woman ever on the city bus, and the fact she was riding public transpo kind of made her hotter. Anyway, the Metro signs say, "when you see something, say something."

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Today is the first night of fall, and after a few drinks I'll have my first fall of the night!

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Boochy's BooBoo Booboobooboo @frenchys-goldau.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

I've lived an interesting yet straight to DVD life

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

[I walk into a bar in the middle of the day] ME: It's five o'clock somewhere! [Several drinks later...] BARTENDER: Okay, you've had enough. ME: What? It's still light out! BARTENDER: Well, it's 2am somewhere!

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

The first rule of Overexplaining Club is you do not talk about Overexplaining Club because this is a secret club and we want it to stay a secret, but if you talk about it then people will know it exists, thus ruining the secrecy.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Do not mistake my kindness for weakness. Instead mistake it for me not having a raging case of diarrhea. And, completely off the subject, my good friend, may I please kindly use your restroom?

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Vamp Lizzlepants 🧛🏻‍♀️ @lizzlepants.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

let’s burn that bridge when we get to it

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

It is not my business to find Waldo. I am already busy not starting forest fires.

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Skellyton 🦇 @infinitefinite.blog · 01/11/2025

You can pry the Oxford Comma from my cold, dead, and third adjective hands.

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

an uber driver wearing sock puppets on both hands that talk to each other about how bad the steering wheel tastes your whole ride

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Organic, free range, cage free, paid a living wage chickens or I’ll just have the ethically mashed potatoes

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

"What if I've been lied to all along," he wondered. "What if that girl I've been talking to on the internet -- who most likely is a guy -- hasn't been 'laughing out loud' at all."

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

I'm glad football has finally started because I was getting tired of only being disappointed by my baseball team.

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Jenny Doesn’t Know @jennydoesntknow.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I’ve started to go to bed earlier so I have more time to toss & turn

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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

In all seriousness, props to the Little Teapot. If I was short and stout, I'd be too self-conscious to sing about it.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Just had some dental work done and my jaw is still numb, so if anyone had been wanting to punch me in the face, now is a good time for me.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

I wonder if mobsters with Alzheimer's are walking around saying, "Aye... I forgoddabout it."

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Funny how we're all celebrating our "labor" this weekend considering what crappy employees we've become ever since we discovered Social Media.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Sometimes I realize I'm just an L.A. 4 buying a 6-er at a 7-11 at 2am.

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jaypea but spooky @jaypea.bsky.social · 24/05/2026

“lol I’m SUCH a Carrie,” I say as a bucket of pig’s blood spills all over me.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

I was gonna go to the gym, but the parking spot I found was too far to walk.

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Jake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

If randomly renaming bodies of water doesn't solve your trade war, I'm not sure what will.

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

“I hate to disappoint you” he said, despite all evidence to the contrary.

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Grilled Steak Quesadilla Man @lawnmowerbob.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

When someone tells me, "Great question." I never hear their answer because I'm busy congratulating myself for asking such a great question

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Maybe Tim Curry just refused to live in a world without Dolly Parton.

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John Carpenter’s The Alex Nevil @thealexnevil.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

I don't mind being at my wit's end. I just wish It had taken more than 7 seconds to get there.

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

[telling you what’s what]: it is what it is

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

I wonder if mobsters with Alzheimer's are walking around saying, "Aye... I forgoddabout it."

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Who's got 2 thumbs and is going to a sweet party tonight?! My cousin - his construction crew is taking him out after he lost 8 of his fingers.

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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

*brings a recording of the Benny Hill theme to a knife fight*

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

I was driving the other day when a deer jumped out and hit my car. And, yep, you guessed it, despite all he told me, he did NOT have insurance.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

My friend says he's a compulsive liar, and you know, despite it all, I believe him!

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

Has Vegas changed? Well, a Coors Light just cost me 18 bucks, so yes.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

ME: I wish this pool had a swim up blackjack table. NEIGHBOR: And I wish you'd get your drunk ass out of my koi pond.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Sunday is the day I drop my most stupidest posts, followed very closely by my posts on Monday through Saturday.

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Chestbursty @chestrovert.bsky.social · 28/06/2024

I hope when my life flashes before my eyes as I die there's a little montage of all the times I ate some napkin because there was melted cheese on it

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NurseBrianRN @nursebrianrn.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

me (playing basketball): i’m open!!! i’m open!!! teammate: (throws me ball, which is immediately intercepted) me: I should have clarified…to new sexual experiences!!!

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

I haven't missed that many flights in my life, but that one time I flew to Las Vegas sitting between two high-spirited strippers... I miss that flight a lot.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Finally got a trainer for my unruly dog. He still barks all the time, but he's benching double what he was before and his abs look amazing.

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Blather Wince Repeat @blatherwincerepeat.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

I’ve yet to talk to anyone in this ball pit with a coherent world view.

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Lance Said This @lancesaidthis.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

Well, I found the clit, and with no thanks to you, Google Maps!

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Coach Rusty @coachrusty.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

[job interview] boss: what would you do if faced with a situation where- me: give up immediately

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