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DJango Schmutz

@hermanmenschter.bsky.social
373 followers 485 following 2.8K posts

On bluesky i found a bunch of interesting funny af people. Like everyone else they're out of my league. I steered clear of social media till now, or at least I didnt like it. This seems different, almost nice. I actually wish i had more time to do it

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Em @whatsinyourhump.bsky.social · 24/02/2024
Everything in my house is now measured in cat 😑
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 24/02/2024
Can’t today, my body is outgrowing its outer skin
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 24/02/2024
*crawls out from beneath your sink* why didn’t you like that one post?
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John Lipponen 🇫🇮 🇦🇹 @lippoenen.bsky.social · 23/02/2024
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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 23/02/2024
My packing strategy is mostly to put everything I own in bags. Then pretend it's a shopping cart full of things I can't afford so I have to put things back. I do that till I can lift the bags
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Ashley @ashleysays.bsky.social · 24/02/2024
Onlyfans but it’s just me crying as a clean my house
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dawn of the debb @debbshock.com · 24/02/2024
I'm sorry I'm not here, but I'm on page 2989 of Game of Thrones and I'm losing my shit; how is everybody this fine Saturday beloved blueskyers?
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CD London @claredocherty1.bsky.social · 24/02/2024
Morning peeps, Having a nice white coffee ☕
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Tracey No™️ @traceyno.bsky.social · 24/02/2024
Wait, you can’t smoke a bare feeted pet, or bare feeted pets can’t smoke? Hurry, please, my cat wants to spark up.
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DJango Schmutz @hermanmenschter.bsky.social · 24/02/2024
No new pics, where are you mentally
Lucy & Ethyl at the chocolate factory
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dawn of the debb @debbshock.com · 23/02/2024
@ostrobogulous.bsky.social @hermanmenschter.bsky.social @haroldc.bsky.social @juicysteak117.gay @rocketamari.bsky.social @potshopboy.bsky.social @bornmiserable.bsky.social @rem.postes.club @hollowoak.bsky.social @badboybill69.bsky.social @kinchman.bsky.social @dariusw.bsky.social
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DJango Schmutz @hermanmenschter.bsky.social · 24/02/2024
I'm in "recovery from Post Traumatic Family Syndrome". I just got home last night, did my best to help and it'll take me a couple days to repair my own BS. I might take a short vacation at The Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane because I hear they work wonders with Jell-O cubes.
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DJango Schmutz @hermanmenschter.bsky.social · 22/02/2024
JFC! Life changes in a heartbeat. Since I last posted here days ago, a lot has happened that’s not so great but I shall return and create more terrible posts again. 🖤
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This Is Fine GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
Discover & share this Fire GIF with everyone you know. GIPHY is how you search, share, discover, and create GIFs.
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Salty MacTavish @saltymactavish.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
One day you wake up and realize what a badass your mom was: divorced in the 60’s. Read a novel a day. Hung out with the smokers. Loved motorcycles. Got an English degree at 32 bc fuck you that’s why. Carried secrets to the grave and would we could share one more cup of Folgers together
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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 18/02/2024
“I’ve never had a one night stand before,” she giggled while taking a morning after pill out of the gum ball machine on the table beside her bed.
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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
2020s me, watching reels: This is painfully staged. No way anybody believes this shit. 1990s me, watching Jerry Springer: This is painfully staged. No way anybody believes this shit.
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Pot Shop Boo @potshopboy.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
Every day after we're born is one day closer to death. Good.
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DJango Schmutz @hermanmenschter.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
Please enjoy this tree before her first threesome
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Acerbic Otter, but SPOOOOOOOOOKY @acerbicotter.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
I snort laughed at this
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Arjun Basu @arjun.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
Just what the world needs. (perhaps we can place 19,000 cows on one of these - see previous skeet)
dezeen.com
Migaloo aims to disrupt superyacht market with giant luxury submarine
Migaloo has unveiled its design for a 165-metre-long submersible superyacht that could allow the ultra-rich to enjoy private underwater adventures.
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DJango Schmutz @hermanmenschter.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
You scroll by my posts being all judgey and self-righteous about how yours are better, funnier, smarter and smell better and are more green you fucking twats Donna and Greg.
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Poppycock🌸 @sugarandsage.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
Girl math is deciding the number of sit-ups we now have to do after eating an entire bag of shredded cheese out of the refrigerator while drunk at 2am
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SpatialKimtamine @kimmalien.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
Living the puta vida for one last day
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DJango Schmutz @hermanmenschter.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
Why do the most innocent looking cats take the smelliest dumps? I can smell the crimes-against-humanity as I get within a block of my house in a car.
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DJango Schmutz @hermanmenschter.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
No new pics, where are you at mentally?
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DJango Schmutz @hermanmenschter.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
Just the proximity of the filthiest box store public toilet full of streptococcus, staphylococcus, E. coli and shigella bacteria, hepatitis virus, the plague, and various STD's is like a magnetic anomaly that'll pull & glue your ass to the seat with diarrhea no matter how little you needed to crap.
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
Nice try, organ thieves, I already sold all of mine
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Theciscokidder @theciscokidder.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
Not to brag but I don't need a panic room, I can panic anywhere.
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Just Call Me Amanda🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛ @amandabf.bsky.social · 17/02/2024
I always wanted to be a nun, but I couldn't keep up the habit. 😉
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Damnit Janet @damnitjanet.bsky.social · 19/02/2024
Some dark and nasty stuff here, masterfully handled by @benedictsred.bsky.social and @shauncey.bsky.social This cult seems kinda hard-wired into American society now, but spreading awareness might just give some kids a chance of avoiding it. Have a listen open.spotify.com/episode/6x2l...
open.spotify.com
Enthusiastically Stupid: Unclean Adult = Fun Teen Cult?
Listen to this episode from Heretics' Social Club on Spotify. Hey, before we start this SEASON FINALE, let me ask you all a question.Y'all ever wish you were part of a gang of unruly youfs roaming the...
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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 20/02/2024
I want a marathon sticker that says how many miles I've gone since I could run
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