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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪

@emceekayvee.bsky.social
9.5K followers 5K following 34K posts

I have many books. Thrift store whore. Fuck ICE Fuck TRUMP Fuck the NRA Fuck RELIGION Fuck FLOCK cams Shop Riot Gear: riotgearpress.com Contributor to: @riversidecasino.bsky.social @greenevillezoo.bsky.social @sorrowscopes.bsky.social

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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @emceekayvee.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Reposting b/c Ko-fi unpublished my page, so here's my Venmo: As many of you know, I was fired from my non-profit job 2 wks ago for my social media despite me never disclosing my name, location, profession, or org. I was there for ~9 yrs & had built a career. My benefits/insurance were gone same day.
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James @james.tarnation.lol · 20h
naked and overconfident in my survival skills
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 1h
every time I hear "burlesque" I think of "burlap" which makes sense b/c that would be what I would wear to do burlesque.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 2h
My dude be getting all sorts of vengeance on my behalf. One time a guy messaged me on IG to specifically tell me that he would NOT be following me, which is the weirdest thing ever. So, dude messaged him, lol:
a screenshot from Instagram messages that shows a man's profile, his name is Eric Swanson, and a message below to him says, "Just want to let you know I WON'T be following you."
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Jeremy @floregonian.com · 2h
Beauties: @kirstenium.bsky.social, @mementomorty.bsky.social, @maytagsmom.bsky.social, @youremceekayvee.bsky.social, @ironweed.bsky.social, @npc.northsky.social, @amockingbird.bsky.social, @conductress.bsky.social, @caryjo.bsky.social, @realqrampage.fightins.online
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Josh Dobbin @joshdobbin.bsky.social · 4h
crafting head wear for nuns can be habit forming
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 4h
I’m sorry, but I just don’t know how to make this text I got from an ex not feel good.
A text I received from an ex-boyfriend
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 7h
Now hang me up to dry You wrung me out Too too too many times
open.spotify.com
Hang Me Up To Dry
Cold War Kids · Robbers & Cowards · Song · 2007
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ACW1234 @acw1234.bsky.social · 16h
😀 us.list-manage.com/lwlOKriOg08?...
us.list-manage.com
Doctor Informs Woman She Pregnant As Hell
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ffrf.org @ffrf.org · 01/10/2026
Treating belief in God as synonymous with goodness is theology, not military leadership. America’s military must know the difference between defending the Constitution and imposing one man’s theology on everyone who serves.
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𝔄𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰 𝔙𝔢𝔦𝔩 @ariesveil.bsky.social · 13h
Does anyone else call them ‘Moon Lander Deniers’? Asking for a friend.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 15h
why would anyone give a mouse a cookie?
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 16h
It was the fast of times, it was the furious of times
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 16h
Him: it's just that sometimes I don't know whether you're being sarcastic or not. Me: Me either, buddy. Me either.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 20h
There was something special about my g-spot to him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 20h
This post is (sort of awkwardly) at 69 likes
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 20h
Candor! On the Timeline
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 21h
I'm not *single* I'm *between life insurance payouts.*
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Momento Vivere @behindthefrequency.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
"No fatties, no trannies, no beardos, no weirdos, no wimps, no radicals." How does kegsbreath know who I've dated?
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Momento Vivere @behindthefrequency.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
OH GOD Tennessee tried to kill that woman on death row TWICE with lethal injection and both failed.
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The Phantom Judge You Harshly 🎃💀🦇🧛‍♂️ @judgeyouharshly.bsky.social · 21h
It‘s October 1st, and I’m posting my own 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN great horror movies that most people HAVEN’T seen. Each movie will be posted in this thread with where you can find them. Add your own faves and come back to this thread daily for the next film in my Spooky Season Hall of Fame!
Your host for 31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN
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The Phantom Judge You Harshly 🎃💀🦇🧛‍♂️ @judgeyouharshly.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
September 30 October 1
It meIt scary me
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Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝 @fionaapplebs.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My buddy and me, but it’s just me and my negative self talk
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 21h
My ex-husband (and father of my 3 kiddos) is so great. He's the best dad ever and he is such a good man. He is engaged to a doctor at Mayo Clinic and she seems lovely and they are SO happy, which makes ME so happy. Wouldn't have wanted to share kids w/ anyone else. ♥️♥️♥️♥️
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KnewNic🖕🏼🧊 @knewagirlnic.bsky.social · 21h
When you are dumb and like to remind everyone that you are dumb
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 22h
I'm not *single,* I'm *between husbands.*
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The Onion @theonion.com · 23h
New Study Finds Ashing Cigarette Out Cracked Car Window On Cold Morning Still Best Way To Start Blue-Collar Workday theonion.com/new-study-finds-ashing…
New Study Finds Ashing Cigarette Out Cracked Car Window On Cold Morning Still Best Way To Start Blue-Collar Workday
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 23h
Sunglass Slut, I mean Hut
emceekayvee, a 50 y/o Caucasian woman, is wearing reflective sunglasses and is in a car posing for a selfie. I have blonde and silver hair and brown eyebrows. I have on an oatmeal-gray cardigan and gold earrings and a gold necklace.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 23h
Goddamn motherfuck I love you guys. Except like a couple of you, you two really grate on my last nerve. But the rest are truly getting me through these days. Thank you. I love you.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
A throuple? Back in my day we called that a Bizarre Love Triangle.
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Braden Serkas @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Someone at work once asked me what my guilty pleasure was and I immediately shot back “pleasure never makes me feel guilty.” I’ve seldom felt cooler than I did in that moment. Literally one minute later I tripped on an extension cord and hit my head on a whiteboard in front of the entire office
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TeenagePhlebotomy @teenagephlebotomy.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
no I do not want to go to where everybody knows my name do you think I'm a fuckin' lunatic?
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I hate when you're playing Candy Crush and your kid falls into the gorilla cage
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
If I were rich, I’d buy stuff I wouldn’t even use. Like helicopters or pants
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I need to clear up a couple of things for people who take my posts seriously. First of all, don’t do that. 69 likes is a schtick. It doesn’t mean I’m into it wtf. It also does not mean I want a post to stay at 69 likes are you kidding me? The more the better! I just like to point it out at the time.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Wow. I really thought that text thread was a safe space. SMH
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
There's nothing quite like coming into a nice, quiet, clean house after school drop-off in the morning. Sure the homeowners are yelling things like, "who the fuck are you?!" and, "get the hell out of our house," but it was nice for the few minutes before they noticed.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
everyone be assured that whenever I say, "I get that a lot," the "that" is not referring to sex or money.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Just saw in someone’s bio, “very married” and like, nobody likes a braggart. Block.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
To be clear, the schtick about “which one of you sick fucks saved this?” is just that: a schtick. I could not care less someone saves my post. I mean, it’s your funeral. I figure once I put something on here I’ve lost control of it. If you don’t save it you could take a screenshot anyway. 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The word "Shrek" does not appear in the constitution, rendering it an imperfect document
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I'd feel really insulted if I married someone into animal husbandry.
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Kool-Aid Man crashes through the hotel room wall, catching his wife having sex with the Hawaiian Punch guy
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
There was a feature on FB yrs ago that let you block select people from a particular post. We need that here. Can you imagine how many people would quickly block a post from their partner/spouse, or the person from whom they stole a joke, etc.
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I hope whomsoever saved this is saving it to take it to his mom to say I'm his future wife b/c he's proud of me and not...a different reason for saving this
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
1. SK yes, KV no 2. funny, of course 3. yes 4. there are many, but one of my all-time favorites is this one by arguably the funniest person on BS: bsky.app/profile/vikt...
NGL questionNGL questionNGL questionNGL question
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
1. Both? 2. A poem my daughter wrote. It takes me back to when she wrote it-elementary school, & to how special, fun, & perfect she's always been. 3. I've always dreamt of a certain man being my love, he's not specific just a general idea. I think I might have just now finally met him at 50. 4. No
NGL questionNGL questionNGL questionNGL question
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
1. Both. Either. 2. Batman 3. Not the most romantic, but romantic. I have a weird idea of romance. I like off-the-wall stuff for romantic gestures. 4. With books and good conversation.
NGL questionNGL questionNGL questionNGL question
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
1. writer 2. modern? Eva Illouz (French philosopher who writes about love+capitalism, for one topic, and she's fucking amazing) 3. I'm always torn on this and want to say both, but I know that's a bit of a copout. If forced to choose, idealism. 4. the fuck kind of question is that? Of course.
NGL questionNGL questionNGL questionNGL question
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🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
1. It makes me anxious af. One night my bf at the time was talking to me about the vastness of the universe and I started crying. LOL 2. I would be so sad if this had ONE answer. I hope many ppl. 3. I haven't eaten candy in 3+ yrs. but Reese's PB cups prior 4. I would eradicate religion, capitalism
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