Reposted by Charlie KauffmanMarisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 43mICE is a militia of serial abusers. 11454109
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanMark Grimshaw @markgrimshawtism.bsky.social · 19hDonald Trump posted on Truth Social calling Dr Annie Andrews a transphobic slur this week, and her response is to ensure everyone knows she hates trans people too. Christ, the Democrats are fucking pathetic. 612860649
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanDC Pierson @dcpierson.bsky.social · 21hONE TYPE OF PERSON ON SOCIAL MEDIA: I don’t like AI THE OTHER TYPE OF PERSON ON SOCIAL MEDIA: Pretty naïve of you to say that when it just zip zorped the gringle in less than seven kleebs. SEVEN. KLEEBS. 1059493
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanGood Boy @goodboy.bsky.social · 23hI really hope the wife's actual reply to that audiobook line was "We are getting a Divorce" 4574
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanAmy @lolennui.bsky.social · 07/10/2026thanks to the power of AI I’ve delegated my finances to bloopee, the pixel furby that tells you to kill yourself 14780121
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanK. Thor Jensen @kthorjensen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026pussy smell like corn chips 4595
Charlie Kauffman @charliekauffman.bsky.social · 07/10/2026@ericsorensen.bsky.social @repericsorensen.bsky.social is a comfy little coward who would NEVER 010
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanLuke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I bulldozed a 200 year old tree today. To clear the way for the border wall. It cracked like any tree does when you drive a big enough machine into it. They call it a grandmother tree I guess. People were screaming when it fell. 515316
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanAthlete's Foot Demon @rwoodsmall.bsky.social · 05/10/2026if you've ever heard music, you know it's good 3121
Charlie Kauffman @charliekauffman.bsky.social · 05/10/2026Do NOT perceive Nebraska. Everyone stop. It's not real. 083
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanChris Burnham @theburnham.bsky.social · 05/10/2026static.klipy.comAnnie Potts as Janine Melnitz: We Got One!ALT: Annie Potts as Janine Melnitz: We Got One! 0527
Charlie Kauffman @charliekauffman.bsky.social · 05/10/2026@raxkingisdead.bsky.social I was fishing today and thought the following: “a DC drag king whose stage name is Daniel Patrick Boynihan.” Is this anything 110
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanHolly Anderson 🍇 @hollyanderson.bsky.social · 02/10/2026respectfully tapping the “talk to your boys, not me” sign again, with rapidly decreasing levels of respect 254457
Charlie Kauffman @charliekauffman.bsky.social · 02/10/2026We have made these several times and, without fail, they have turned our dinner guests into wild animals (complimentary) 020
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanHolly Anderson 🍇 @hollyanderson.bsky.social · 01/10/2026where are my manners, happy October youtu.be/jpzWVh7f4TE?...youtu.beFall Time in TennesseeYouTube video by Nick Lutsko 615021
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanNed Resnikoff @resnikoff.bsky.social · 29/09/2026I think about this interview with the distinguished philosopher Conan O'Brien a lot. I actually think this is a healthy way to live your life! www.nytimes.com/2019/01/14/a... 162792616
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanSara Straw @oneoneder.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Xkcd made a cartoon about this: 0277
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanRebecca Solnit @rebeccasolnit.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Time for this classic again. 156164985560
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanPolling USA @usapolling.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Jesus Christ dude 502372720
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanTim Price @timprice.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Know you no ball, sir, at long last? Have you left no knowledge of ball? 738552
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanLuke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 29/09/2026All of you know this, but any time some centrist loser starts talking about how a social policy will only benefit the wealthy what they really mean is they don't want anything to benefit anyone. 9662100
Reposted by Charlie Kauffmanthe Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 29/09/2026*mid-eulogy, looking down at casket* you’ve read your last free article 101769250
Reposted by Charlie Kauffman(VFP) Strategic Gravitas Reserve @braak.bsky.social · 28/09/20261982? Huh, I wonder who was president then. 14010
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanJason O. Gilbert @gilbertjasono.bsky.social · 26/09/2026AI EXECUTIVE (bragging about his product): Using this every day has made me incredibly stupid 123197730
Charlie Kauffman @charliekauffman.bsky.social · 26/09/2026Please enjoy this insane, fully concrete, pebble dash house. www.zillow.com/homedetails/...zillow.com508 S Jefferson St, Armington, IL 61721 | MLS #12767551 | ZillowThis 2300 square feet Single Family home has 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. It is located at 508 S Jefferson St, Armington, IL. 110
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanBen Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 25/09/2026lol holy shit I wouldn't talk about literally anything else if I was the guy running against him. —"What do you think about trans kids in sp-" —"Did you hear my opponent had his patient, who was 8 months pregnant, arrested in front of her son because she didn't pay a $50 medical bill?" 8189082560
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanNorm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Packers owners spent all offseason worrying about the Uihleins instead of fortifying the o-line. 4844
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanAaron Reichlin-Melnick @reichlinmelnick.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Incredible. First Secretary Mullin claimed that DHS had identified 15,903 noncitizens on Nevada’s voter roll. Then DHS officials told a skeptical Nevada, no no no, that’s just people we flagged. Here are the names of 185 people we KNOW aren’t citizens. All 185 were citizens. DHS got 100% wrong. 21088183854
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanTim Price @timprice.bsky.social · 23/09/2026You joined "grand vizier chat (secret)" You: dark rumors from aboard You: abroad* fuck Sssnakecharmer: mf said aboard WhispersintheChapel: ahoy matey lol PonderMyOrb changed the group name to "rumors from aboard" 3098472767
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanJacketDan’s Stunt Spooktacular @jacketdan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026My kids aren't in private school, but had we not moved they would be in a Charter school and this does a lot to cover my own conflicted emotions about the whole thing 6268
Reposted by Charlie Kauffmandr. rich traditions, JD @helldude.bsky.social · 23/09/2026there was a vibe shift and it still pertains: Everything Fucking Sucks and Is Too Fucking Expensive and Violent and I'm Fucking Terrified of the Future and the Assholes in Charge Do Not Give a Single Shit So Fuck Them 131433146
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanEmily✨ @emilyoram.bsky.social · 23/09/2026Always a treat to be reminded of an old friend 5695673410
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanHolly Anderson 🍇 @hollyanderson.bsky.social · 23/09/2026hey just curious where did the “protect women athletes” crowd get off to 21277400
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanAcyn @acyn.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Child: This is my first time meeting a mayor. Mamdani: Wow, have you ever met a prime minister? Child: No Norway PM Jonas Gahr Støre: *walks over* 775286034864
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanTW @twesq.bsky.social · 20/09/2026this is fantastic and I learned something new 563212436
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanActing the Fulemin @actingthefulemin.bsky.social · 22/09/2026there are 70 million people for whom this is the biggest song in the world. they watch comedies called like "Wives of Jim" that have run for nine seasons. they're usually pretty affable in person. in 2024 they severed the fate of humanity because of egg prices 814244719
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanSchrödinger's Sneetch Belly @rtodkelly.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Please know that this is one of my few legitimate areas of actual, high-level professional expertise: Kicking the healthiest people off of a health insurance program will bankrupt it. Not 'could;' not 'might,' not 'probably," but absolutely will, with mathematical certainty. 25768222249
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanMoira Donegan @moiradonegan.bsky.social · 22/09/2026ProPublica got the literal check Collins was bribed with. 8443461334
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanLuke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 22/09/2026The worst men alive all absolutely love AI and hate trans people. Huh. Probably no lessons for me to learn there. 132205487
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanSam “The Great Pumpkin” Thielman @samthielman.com · 22/09/2026you can be mad at NHJ but "hey why doesn't this school have an honor roll?" is a reasonable question and the answer turned out to be "because we teach the kids nothing and to celebrate that would be cruel" but rather than admit that, the principal was like "wow, what a great point, let's start one!" 4634
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanEd BooOOooOOmila @edburmila.bsky.social · 04/06/20263/4 of US farmers bought their 2026 fertiliser in advance, at pre-Hormuz prices. That’s the good news. The bad news is for the 2027 cycle every farmer in this country is going to be fully exposed to the price increase and prices aren’t going down even if the strait magically opened tomorrow. 310216
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanProPublica @propublica.org · 22/09/2026NEW: In late 2024, FBI investigators had enough evidence to launch a sweeping bribery probe that could ensnare top lawmakers, including Sen. Susan Collins. Then Trump was reelected and eviscerated the FBI and DOJ teams handling public corruption probes.propublica.orgThe FBI Anti-Corruption Squad Was Circling Susan Collins — Until Trump Got in the WayAfter the FBI caught a defense contractor’s CEO making illegal campaign contributions, it sought to launch a sweeping political bribery probe involving Collins and others. Then the second Trump admini... 13646332244
Reposted by Charlie KauffmanMichael Warburton @michaelwarburton.bsky.social · 21/09/2026This aired just the once in 1998 on the live SNL show for which McKay wrote it. It was effectively banned as it never aired again. I wonder why. MEDIA-OPOLY 258144096832
![Is this how you want to go out, with a show that gets smaller and smaller until it’s gone?
Maybe that’s O.K. I think you have more of a problem with that than I do. [Laughs.] At this point in my career, I could go out with a grand, 21-gun salute, and climb into a rocket and the entire Supreme Court walks out and they jointly press a button, I’m shot up into the air and there’s an explosion and it’s orange and it spells, “Good night and God love.” In this culture? Two years later, it’s going to be, who’s Conan? This is going to sound grim, but eventually, all our graves go unattended.
You’re right, that does sound grim.
Sorry. Calvin Coolidge was a pretty popular president. I’ve been to his grave in Vermont. It has the presidential seal on it. Nobody was there. And by the way, I’m the only late-night host that has been to Calvin Coolidge’s grave. I think that’s what separates me from the other hosts.
I had a great conversation with Albert Brooks once. When I met him for the first time, I was kind of stammering. I said, you make movies, they live on forever. I just do these late-night shows, they get lost, they’re never seen again and who cares? And he looked at me and he said, [Albert Brooks voice] “What are you talking about? None of it matters.” None of it matters? “No, that’s the secret. In 1940, people said Clark Gable is the face of the 20th Century. Who [expletive] thinks about Clark Gable? It doesn’t matter. You’ll be forgotten. I’ll be forgotten. We’ll all be forgotten.” It’s so funny because you’d think that would depress me. I was walking on air after that.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:qnyq7wies2uc56bzqmfz4q25/bafkreief4hu7c6hd6ymgqnsaejlaipfuj7fq4ka2tkix72pionkb3dkkdy)
