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Beowulf6561 👺

@beowulf6561.bsky.social
1.6K followers 1.2K following 1.2K posts

We can’t stop here. This is bat country. He/him PFP ALT: Side view of my head being blasted in the face by a lawn sprinkler Banner ALT: blue background, red rose on fire, text: In an age of performative cruelty kindness is punk as fuck. Be punk as fuck.

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Reposted by Beowulf6561 👺
illumi @yallchemist.bsky.social · 20h
lol one of our website designers used our organization's entire monthly claude credits yesterday and now half the company doesn't know how to do their jobs. it's october 2nd.
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karanormal activity 💜 @deadontheoutside.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
friend: ok, it's my first time watching the fast and the furious movies, so no spoilers me: omg there's so many spoilers
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Astr0z0mbreez @astr0z0mbreez.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
We gotta get our fuckin shit together or Olivia Newton John will not let us into Xanadu
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 06/08/2025
We all have that one friend who says "caw! caw!" and then snatches a hot dog off your plate and flies away
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Trickortreat Petunia @sweetpetunia.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Never underestimate a woman’s knowledge
A four panel comic strip. Panel 1: a boy asks “Hey mom, what’s your favourite superhero?” Panel 2: “Oh I don’t know dear. Probably X-Man.” Panel 3: “Haha mom you’re so dumb and old. The X-Men is a team!” Panel 4: “Actually dear, I was talking about Nate Grey, the alternate universe Cable who took the name x-Man in his original run in ‘95. Read the comics you fucking casual.”
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Beowulf6561 👺 @beowulf6561.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Ok we’re masculinizing band names now Mankini Kill
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Beowulf6561 👺 @beowulf6561.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Feminize a band name Estrogenesis
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Beowulf6561 👺 @beowulf6561.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Feminize a band name Sneaker Madams
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(spoo)key @lefttwix.com · 26/09/2026
yea, the boys 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 back in town but they left when they heard you were coming
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Beowulf6561 👺 @beowulf6561.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Feminize a band Static-XX SHEVO
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Bogey @oneyebogey.bsky.social · 30/03/2025
Not only will I shenanigan, but I will thrice.
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Beowulf6561 👺 @beowulf6561.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
“Short-form video is essentially a constant stream of novelty. It keeps triggering this ancient “orient and react” system over and over.…
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zappa-szep @zappaszep.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
youtu.be/nx3EzCi_dOc
youtu.be
Kids in the Hall - Girl Drink Drunk
YouTube video by Parachute Adams
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Mitch McConnell's shambling corpse 🧟‍♂️ @checarina.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
saw your man getting his liver torn out by another eagle. you cool with that?
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Return of the Cmonstermacques @cmonmaque.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The picture below of Zuck but he’s saying "I'm doing kegels right now, but they're imperceptible. I call them 'hummingbirds",
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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Saw your man pushing a boulder up the hill. He looked tired
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Carl T. Bergstrom @carlbergstrom.com · 26/09/2026
Does my Speak-n-Spell feel pain when I type O-U-C-H? The jury is out. Philosophers and neuroscientists say that's fucking stupid, but I called a guy from the Center for Pretending that Household Electronics Are Sentient and he said there's no way to know for sure.
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reni 🦌 @reniadeb.com · 25/09/2026
this is just to say i have eaten the moon that was in my orbit and which you were probably wanting to observe forgive me it was delicious so crunchy and so cold
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it's Halloween name charloh! (it/its) @charloh.online · 25/09/2026
"Why do you need cis people to be the ones to stand up for you?"
screenshot from Control Resonant. Dylan Faden stands in a fight ready stance, weapon in hand, in an open area with no apparent features. text above him reads "Cannot Transition During Combat"
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Grue of Ill Wind Studios @illwinds.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
"Itsy Bitsy Spider" is just the Myth of Sisyphus for toddlers.
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Luminosity @luminosity.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Kombucha girl 2-panel
First panel:  Ew. Buying plastic skulls and skeletons for Halloween
Second panel: *lightbulb* Using natural and compostable billionaire bones
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Alejandra Caraballo @esqueer.net · 14/09/2026
Again, 5 years ago, none of these policies existed. 15 states require the forced outing of trans students 16 states ban medicaid coverage of gender affirming care 14 states have "Don't say trans" laws banning discussion of trans people's identities. 29 states have banned participation in sports.
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PJ Holden @pauljholden.com · 21/09/2026
What i expected phone alerts to be like “OMG a nuclear war” “alert: pm has been assassinated” “dont go home theres a murderer in your house” What alerts are: “Alert; why not finish watching that tv show” “Hey! You havent listened to amazon music in months” “DING! Youve been pre-accepted for a loan”
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Millions of Chopped Landlord Pieces @thirteentwelve.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Charlotte Church roasting Ed Sheeran over a Dead Kennedy's cover
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Blaise Boo-lysse Bernard Collins @wittywebhandle.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Biblically Accurate VLC Instance
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Leen McBeans @leenmcbeans.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
tf you mean I’m “rigid”??? just earlier today I let someone call a tortoise a turtle and let them go on with their story without a word. fuck
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Inspirational Skeletor @skeletorinspires.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Self-improvement takes time. After all, you didn't turn into a piece of shit overnight. Says Skeletor knowing he’s a piece of shit but that he didn’t used to be so change is possible!
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
My phone sends me a notification whenever there's an owl nearby. I don't remember asking it to do that and I don't know how to make it stop. I tried throwing my phone into a ravine but it just reappeared in my hand moments later. The owl notifications are growing more frequent
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Brok Windsor 🇨🇦 @brokwindsor.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
I used to be pretty judgemental about bad movies until MST3K and Joe Bob Briggs taught me to find the good in them. One day I was listening to a bunch of movie nerd friends trash Tommy Wiseau, and it kinda pissed me off. I just said, “The guy made a movie, what have you done?” #MS3TK #Mutantfam
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🏳️‍⚧️Trevorlynn 🦇David🦇 Cooper🏳️‍⚧️ @awholedamntown.bsky.social · 26/05/2026
I know MST3K is the reason I love so many old terrible movies, but the thing is: Life would be pretty empty without terrible ones to go with the awesome ones. Sometimes, I get much more from a terrible film than I would from a good one.
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Stephie 🏳️‍⚧️ @stephiesparda.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
I got chalk.
Trans rights are human rights!
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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Democrats every 1.5 business days:
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Skip “Skippy” Skipperson @yippyskippy.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Wait, I lost track, what season of our discontent are we in?
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Beowulf6561 👺 @beowulf6561.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
And swim like lions thru the crest and bathe yourself on zebra flesh…
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USER WAS BLOCKED FOR THIS POST @blockedforthispost.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
is it possible to bait the "user was blocked for this post" account into posting whatever i want?
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Fossilized Tree Resin @jamberee13.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
That’s my emotional support wandering in the night woods
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Rob From Flailthroughs @robflails.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
From now on I think if we're even thinking about donating to a Dem candidate we need to give that money and time to a local mutual aid network instead. We've let them waste so much of our time and energy, and we need to be building the things we'll need to survive without them instead.
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
@RossWBermanIV

I’m a REAL MAN:

I’m SCARED OF CITIES

I’m MAD at the LITTLE MERMAID

My truck is TALL and I have to crawl into it like a BABY

Do not get me STARTED on women’s sports
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Anne Applebaum @anneapplebaum.wsocial.eu · 19/09/2026
The Kennedy Center was financially stable until Trump took over: "In the fiscal year ending in 2024, when the center was led by President Deborah Rutter and a bipartisan board of trustees, it brought in about $40 million more than it spent" www.theatlantic.com/culture/2026...
theatlantic.com
What the Kennedy Center’s Tax Return Reveals
A previously unseen filing captures the state of the institution seven months after Donald Trump’s takeover.
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Sam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
If she asks you if you have a police record and you say, “Synchronicity,” and she doesn’t get it, she’s too young for you.
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 06/05/2025
Good Dad: Please eat your broccoli it's good for you Bad Dad: Eat the goddamn broccoli or else Car Salesman Dad: What can I do to get this broccoli into you
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mindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
The difference between a catacomb and a basement is skulls. Catacomb without skulls? Thats a basement. Skulls in your basement? Thats a catacomb. Tired of having to keep saying this
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Beowulf6561 👺 @beowulf6561.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I wasn’t prepared for “Coyote vs Acme” to be an existential treatise.
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the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
If China beats us at AI, they'll be able to create images of women with more fingers than we ever thought possible
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Amy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
“can we table that idea for now?” i dunno gary can we refrigerator your face for a few hours
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
they don’t tell you but one of the leading causes of arthritis is having to scroll down to select the year of your birth
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Beowulf6561 👺 @beowulf6561.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
I have this really great soteriology joke I want to tell you but I’m saving it for later.
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Emily Moin @emilymoin.com · 15/09/2026
Are your daughters studying linear algebra? Know the signs: B — Basis E — Eigenvalue A — Adjoint U — Unitary matrix T — Transformation I — Identity matrix F — Field U — Upper triangular matrix L — Linear independence
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Guillermo Esteves @allencompassingtrip.com · 15/09/2026
Great Falls Park, Virginia. January, 2018. 📷 Fujifilm X-T2 + XF16-55mmF2.8 R LM WR 🎞 50 mm – 5.3″ – f/8 – ISO 200 🏷️ #Photography #Landscapes
Great Falls, from the second overlook on the Virginia side.
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Jimmy Buffett truther @fuggerfailson.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
congrats to kid rock on the new gig
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