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Avery

@averybodyposts.bsky.social
3.9K followers 969 following 3.1K posts

✍🏻 It’s all odd, cause I can’t even Short Stories: AverybodyWrites.com Me: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:tnli4klq2q… The Hits: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:tnli4klq2q…

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Avery
phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 19/10/2025
you people with pump top shampoo/conditioner ever just feel real nasty when they’re running low and you’re just in there ass naked pumping those tops like “come on, squirt all over my hands” and then it just explodes all over the shower
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 19/10/2025
In reality, having a big heart is a medical condition that can kill you.... metaphorically it can kill you too.
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
Wish there was a champions medal for running a daily three-legged race with anxiety and depression.
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
ME: if the singular of geese is goose then the singular of cheese is choose MCDONALDS CASHIER: okay here’s your chooseburger
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🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
The Mandalorian, but a caramel dessert. The Flandalorian
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
went to get an existential crisis but it was soul doubt
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Avery @averybodyposts.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
It’s that time of year when I’m becoming increasingly stuck indoors, soooo… *begrudgingly starts binge watching the internet*
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Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 16/06/2025
my life is being stolen right before my eyes one work day at a time
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Amy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 16/06/2025
sex so good he forgets every word but your name and now you have to order for him at restaurants
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 16/06/2025
don’t talk about the elephant in the room until it’s had its coffee
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Blair Spookily @blairloudly.bsky.social · 15/06/2025
was gonna go to a third yoga class this week but that might be too much of a stretch
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PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
I’m sorry I was late, I was trying to peel a boiled egg
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Amy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 15/06/2025
‘oh man sporemichael can’t flerp for shit and if everblunken does’t cribble more sploops this team is never gonna make it to the big brouhaha’ that’s you doing sports talk, that’s what you sound like
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Leen McBeans @leenmcbeans.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
Dirty commies call each other comrade, but slutty commies get called cumrade
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
Turns out the teaches of peaches is not the kind of education most employers are looking for.
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
Apples aren't special. You can bob for whatever the hell you want. Go bobbing for fish I dunno. water is literally full of those things.
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richie @theregoesrichie.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
I mean, I’m naked and afraid but I’m just in my kitchen
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Marc @runoldman.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
Louis Vuitton's Spring line is featured under my eyes this morning.
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Amy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
what do i bring to a relationship? hold on …[reaches into pants pocket]…four dollars and forty-seven cents, a hair tie, some anxiety wadded up inside an old receipt, and a fuzzy blue Sour Patch Kid
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Opinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
they don't teach you this but it's totally ok to break up with someone on the spot if you see them microwaving a slice of leftover pizza
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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
I prefer weed glasses to beer goggles any day.
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BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
If I had a curved dick I’d introduce it like, “say hello to my little bend.”
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actually its fens monster @cringeunworthy.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
look if you want to fight with your spouse in public that's fine by me but don't get mad when I clap and cheer for the rightful winner
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Avery @averybodyposts.bsky.social · 14/06/2025
tfw you find that Goldilocks dick…not too big, not too small, fits and hits just right
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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 05/06/2025
annoying the wife by singing 🎶 come and sit on my faaaace to the tune of the three’s company theme
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Avery @averybodyposts.bsky.social · 06/06/2025
A McChicken, a McFish, and fries with hot mustard should McFix me
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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 02/06/2025
i saw a marching band playing ‘band on the run’ and i was like no you’re not
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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
*takes off jorts to reveal even sassier jorts
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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
slow blinking at the customer to calm them and establish trust
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futuredadOfTwo🙋🏻‍♂️ @lacroixboi.dadguy.pro · 01/06/2025
i can’t wait to love my child no matter who they love
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Avery @averybodyposts.bsky.social · 03/06/2025
Meant to post this yesterday…belated Sunday selfie
Selfie of a woman with long brown hair and a neutral expression on her face
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Avery @averybodyposts.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
Can’t…too busy smokin grass and eatin ass
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phil mccrevice @jewkrainian.bsky.social · 02/06/2025
*whispering to myself to have a normal skeet* colossus should have fought fully bricked up so he could use his bio-steel cock like an extra weapon
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PieGuy @ilovepie84.bsky.social · 29/05/2025
Scientist: and why did you name this animal “Octopus?” “Because it has 8 holes” Scientist: wait, what? “Arms, I meant arms”
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
REPORTER: *ports again*
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Amy Vants to Suck Your Blood 🩸 @msfoxifurnasty.bsky.social · 30/05/2025
‘why don’t you call more often?’ is a trick, your mom knows how to use a phone too
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