Reposted by Alexanderanton @deranton.bsky.social · 23/11/2025My body is acting a little ungrateful given all the treats I’ve been feeding it 327784
Reposted by AlexanderDanny @mardigroan.bsky.social · 27/11/2025Youth pastor (after sitting down on a chair turned backwards): I know you kids like these modern pop songs by Sabrina but you know who else was a Carpenter? 314738
Reposted by AlexanderJay @jaycubed2k.bsky.social · 25/11/2025Nothing like looking at different screens after a hard day of looking at screens 05622
Reposted by AlexanderDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 18/11/2025draw me like one of your conclusions 5366131
Reposted by AlexanderDropped Mike @rebrafsim.bsky.social · 05/11/2025[second hand store] me: do you have any minute hands? 48115
Reposted by Alexanderdrewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 22/09/2025if you ate food from 2005 you could become ill. but in 2005 you ate it all the time 144041
Reposted by Alexanderweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 16/09/2025A sign of the times? You mean a clock? Lol 1142761
Reposted by AlexanderDavid Buchanan @retr0.id · 13/09/2025don't worry, if no coherent narrative is available, one will be constructed for you shortly 723027
Reposted by Alexanderalexis simpson @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 07/09/2025i love tap water except it's so hard to get the water to wear the little shoes 25739131
Reposted by AlexanderDriftless Thinking @mndriftless.northsky.social · 30/08/2025Two seminal vesicles diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the deferens. 1429
Reposted by AlexanderCynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 19/08/2025Sure I've been homesick before, but that was when I drunkenly ate 3 condos and an apartment. 23416
Reposted by AlexanderBluesky T. Vibes @vibesbummer.bsky.social · 19/08/2025When I’m eating shared nachos I’m always thinking 3 nacho moves ahead of my opponent 15476113
Reposted by Alexanderalber @captainacabairbud.myatproto.social · 14/08/2025i hope this email doesn’t find you at all. i hope you got out. i hope you’re free 131462409
Reposted by Alexandererika @yeeeerika.bsky.social · 07/08/2025if bagels can have everything so can i 317440
Reposted by AlexanderSam @samuelhlowe.bsky.social · 05/08/2025If you feel like time is flying by, go get a bad haircut. 532497
Reposted by AlexanderGreg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 06/08/2025had an ant on me an hour ago so now it feels like i have an ant on me about every 12 seconds 1328764
Reposted by AlexanderSteve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 05/08/2025the fucking gall of Alvin to name his band ‘Alvin and the chipmunks’. As if he’s not a fucking chipmunk too 321602322
Reposted by Alexanderalber @captainacabairbud.myatproto.social · 31/07/2025going to bed, or as i call it microdosing “The Big Sleep” 0579
Reposted by Alexander𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 02/08/2025“Fossil Fuel” is the name of my new catering service for nursing homes. 439198
Reposted by AlexanderPru @prufrockluvsong.bsky.social · 02/08/2025Ravioli are just savory Gushers 533889
