Reposted by Stu
Just as a counterpoint to some of the obituaries this morning, here's the start of the Archer chapter in my history of political lying, The Lies of the Land:
Stu
@stuartlilly.bsky.social
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Sarf Londoner passionate about culture, politics, and the charity sector. Long-suffering fan of Fulham FC.
![[Scene is the Tudor royal court. ladies and gentlemen standing round. In the corner a very fat HENRY VIII is hunched over playing a lute.]
1
LADY:
Hey Anne Boleyn -
Who’s that lute player?
ANNE BOLEYN:
I dunno
[Determined face]
But I’m gonna find out.
[Title lettering panel]:
THIS SUMMER
[Scene is now two musicians - one with a harp, the other is Henry VIII again playing the lute]
HARPIST:
Yo Henry VIII -
Who wrote that sick lute riff yo’ jamming?
HENRY VIII:
Why...
[Looking around, modest, surprised at the attention]
I did…!
[Title lettering panel]:
SEE THE STORY
[Scene is now a tudor record producer with ruff and wearing dark sunglasses]:
PRODUCER:
Congratulations Henry
Your lute thing is a hit and your story is now one of uncomplicated musical success!
[Show a panel with lots of Beatlemania-style scenes of success for Henry the musician - swooning tudor girls, playing lute on stage, waving to fans as he descends from his golden carriage. In the middle of it in Tudor lettering are the words]:
“UNCOMPLICATED MUSICAL SUCCESS MONTAGE”.
[Another scene - a man is saying to Henry]:
MAN:
Say Henry VIII -
Are you doing anything outside this narrative that is very bad or weird?
HENRY VIII:
No.
[Title lettering panel]:
…OF A MUSICAL GENIUS
who definitely didn’t do anything outside this narrative that was very bad or weird
[Scene with Thomas Cromwell]
THOMAS CROMWELL:
Hang on Henry aren't you also a -
HENRY VIII [jumping in front of him with his lute held aloft]:
LUTE SOLO!
[Final film title panel]:
HENRY VIII:
Rock Biopic
[rated U]
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidmilghzmgnj35twr4xvnfm5eubpcdc4xmtd5nzexe2ybcubmeu7m)
![[Scene is a TV news DEBATE FORMAT like Newsnight or Laura K.
In the studio, NIGEL FARAGE is a guest on one side, and the GOVERNOR OF THE BANK OF ENGLAND is the other guest.]
1
FARAGE:
It's simply outrageous!
2
FARAGE:
Replacing Sir Winston Churchill on the £5 note with a badger is woke madness.
3
BANK OF ENGLAND GOVERNOR:
Mr Farage, I can assure you that I and my colleagues at the Bank of England have listened to your concerns,
4
GOVERNOR:
And we have gone to great length to ensure
that the badger is, in fact...
5
GOVERNOR:
...Anti-woke.
[The £5 note appears on the screen behind him. It shows a badger, with a black military cap on its head - looking suspiciously like a Nazi SS officer's cap.]
6
[Beat of Nigel Farage reacting silently to the image on screen]
7
FARAGE:
The badger is anti-woke.
8
GOVERNOR:
Indeed!
[Pointing at the design on the screen]
If you look down the bottom we've included a quote from him...
9
[Close up of the quote at the bottom of the new £5 note, which reads]:
"It's not racist to be concerned about immigration, Carol"
- The Anti-Woke Badger
10
FARAGE:
The badger... said that?
GOVERNOR:
It's a comment he posted on Facebook.
11
FARAGE:
Well he's quite right! It's not -
12
[Farage pauses again, distracted by the image on the screen]
13
FARAGE:
What's with the hat?
GOVERNOR:
He's into history.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiah46tsuwbhlr3div2yloy2b7csk5fxa3mxqk3ayxvoil2xhpxxdu)