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Balderdash

@balderdash.bsky.social
5.2K followers 761 following 8.4K posts

I placed my onions on the floor, under the window by the door. The layers of nuance caught their eyes, the day I won The Turner Prize

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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 4h
Ronaldo being dropped (for Ramos who scored) and then leaving the training camp in a huff says everything about his self-absorbed immaturity and his inability to understand the concept of the team. Portugal will be better without him.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 6h
Man City era and goth bands Period of Deception Intricate Web Guilty Sham Conspiracy Theory Single False Accusation Blatant Corruption Illicit Contract Unreliable Witness Damage
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Tom Reagan’s Hat @rufustsuperfly.bsky.social · 7h
Lovecraft & M. R. James could only dream of writing a sentence like this.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 11h
"I want every single Manchester City fan across the world to know I am here; more than ever." Guardiola writes from his £10 million villa in Catalonia.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Shamchester Schity
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Without going into Man City’s guilt, I’m thinking of the clubs that have done their best to abide by PSR. Wolves squad decimated every year Palace squad decimated every year Newcastle would still have had Elliot Anderson Villa squad decimated this year These are just four off the top of my head
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Now visualising Jacob Rees-Mogg resplendent in leather leotard with chain mail knee pads as, ‘The Opposition.’
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Political terms that would also double up as great wrestler’s names: Triple lock Filibuster Black Rod Erskine May Hybrid Bill The Mace Manifesto Deputy Whip
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Holy shit. Just watched the Knights v the Panthers. Absolutely fucking extraordinary.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Do love Horowitz’ murder mysteries and enjoying the Marble Hall series where Lesley Manville’s character tries to solve wordplay clues with the beautifully anagrammatical detective Atticus Pünd - A stupid cunt.
Lesley Manville and Tim McMullan as Ryeland and Pund.
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Jane Casey @janecasey.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
A story in alt text.
Inciting incident: A large confused orange spaniel discovers the love of his life, a tabby cat, asleep on a pile of blankets, on a bed. Dramatic tension: The spaniel looms affectionately over the cat, who has just opened bright green eyesCrisis/resolution: the spaniel immediately remembers the cat is the scariest creature he knows and il fiche le camp tout suite. All the cat has done is raise his head and Disapprove.Fin: The cat, with ears set to reverse disapproval, relishes his solitude.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Remarkable game with the scoreline flattering South Africa. Australia led by 25 points with 15 to go (can’t remember the last time anyone did that to SA) but then incredibly were down to 11 men for the last ten mins and just held on. Les Kiss has done an amazing job and the canary yellows are back.
Australia 42 South Africa 38
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Out of all the stats that are available, I often think this one is quite telling and highlights how well England played and how hard Spain had to work. Gordon, Anderson, Lewis-Skelly & Bellingham excellent but the back four needs a lot of work.
Total touches inside the opposition box
ENG 37
15 SPA
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Turning point was Kane’s penalty miss at 2-1. England all over Spain at that point but momentum changed and then Spain started controlling possession for the first time in the match. Also don’t think it was a coincidence that Spain’s best period happened when Gordon and Lewis-Skelly went off.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
What a brilliant game this is. Both teams playing so well. Spain have missed a few easy chances but England have gifted them both goals and missed a penalty so 2-2 probably fair. 25 minutes to go.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Quansah hits an absolute thunder-bastard straight into Cucurella‘s face. Cucurella down. Quansah now undroppable.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
HT England 2 Spain 1 Wonderful game of football. Anderson and Gordon outstanding.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Just dawned on me - after this judgement - City’s first game … away to Liverpool.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Well, they won’t be chanting the name of Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan on the streets of Manchester tonight.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
To be fair to Derby, ‘a glass of jizz’ is the perfect metaphor for what they’ve been serving up on the pitch this season.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Derby are the greatest club to follow. Bet nobody else offers this.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Some very sensible replies to this so I’ll spend a little time replying in the style of Alan Partridge on the radio.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Controversial but understandable as it must be nigh on impossible to watch Everton sober.
Andy Burnham and Mark Carney in Everton scarves at the Hill Dickinson stadium
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Robert Wilfort @robertwilfort.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
My tinder profile
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
@wmiltti.bsky.social see Luke’s win today?
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Glenn @frackpong.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
When your dog hears you open a packet of biscuits.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
That far right fascist ramming an RNLI boat. Honestly. Though it does remind me of the time Prunella Scales had one-too-many Dubonnet and cokes, lost her rag and fire-bombed the Cat’s Protection League.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
69 today. Happy birthday Nick Cave.
Black and white photo of Max Wall about to sit down at the piano
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Phil Hare's Ghost @mrlepus.eurosky.social · 21/09/2026
Read this in Jarvis Cocker's singing voice.
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Stephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

1
Wide shot of the BRITISH MUSEUM. There are suggestions of fascism around the streets - tanks, barricades, an Orwellian 'Big Brother'-style poster on a wall. A voice of a TOUR GUIDE emanates from the museum:

TOUR GUIDE:
So the Tapestry tells acrucial chapter of our nation's history...

2 
[Cut to interior of museum. A long Bayeaux-style TAPESTRY is on display, and the Tour Guide is speaking to a tour group]

TOUR GUIDE [smiling]:
How modern fascist Britain was created. 

3
TOUR GUIDE:
The Tapestry begins here with the 2008 Crash, then austerity, then the AI Crash...

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TOUR GUIDE:
...and by the end of the room it's just full-on fash. 

5
CHILD IN TOUR GROUP [gesturing to the tapestry]:
What's this middle bit?

TOUR GUIDE:
This is the 2026 Battle of Legitimate Concerns 

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TOUR GUIDE:
[show a reporter standing next to the Dover protests]
Here's the media saying the government have got to do something about the legitimate concerns...

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CHILD:
...About the failure of capitalism?

TOUR GUIDE:
No about brown people on boats

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CHILD:
[pointing at boats crossing the sea on the tapestry]
Are these boats the mega-dinghies?

TOUR GUIDE:
Not all of them

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[we see one of the boats  is a giant yacht]
TOUR GUIDE:
That one's a superyacht,
carrying money from the American fascists to the British ones.

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TOUR GUIDE:
You see really it's as much a story of convergence as it is of conflict.

[An alarm sounds in the museum]
DING DING DING DING 

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TOUR GUIDE:
Ok, tour over everyone 

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TOUR GUIDE:
It's time for the Two Minute Hate!

[They all leave the museum]

[ends]
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
This is bloody brilliant. Intriguing, surprising and a wonderful cast including the legend, Ted Levine.
Something very bad is going to happen.Seven of the cast dressed up for a wedding
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
What a side Brighton are now. Completely dominated United in midweek, hammered Arsenal 3-0 today and beautiful football to watch. No reason why they can’t get in the top 4.
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Emma Stump @pisci.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Tony Cascarino appears to be morphing into Jack Duckworth.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
63 today! Happy birthday Jarvis Cocker.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
It’s John Fashanu’s birthday. Here’s a quick guide on how to pronounce his name correctly. youtu.be/0jLuVw8bHo8
youtu.be
John Fashanu
YouTube video by RR DD
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KosmicKris @kosmickris.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
RIP to the magnificent Stephanie Cole. A sublime and protean talent. The priceless ability to project an icy cold or a beautiful warmth but with infinite depth and nuance. Go well amazing lady x
Stephanie Cole
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trouteyes @trouteyes.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
When Scooby Doo has rinrited you to runch
Dog in sailor cap smoking a pipe
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
About time. These fuckers have had it far too easy for too long. Just sitting down facing the wrong way and all that.
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Jakub Jaraczewski @jakubjaraczewski.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
🇷🇸🇺🇸 Somebody on the Polish internet described Sydney Sweeney as "an actress with the eyes of a retired Serbian infantry major" and from now on I'll probably always think of war crimes when looking at her.
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Gummy Arts @gummyarts.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Talking Heads released their debut album on this date in 1977.
Colored-pencil card drawing of David Byrne, Jerry Harrison, Chris Frantz, and Tina Weymouth
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Be honest now, who amongst us can honestly say, we’ve never pulled out of Ed Sheeran.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
‘Tottenham have scored?’
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
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NovemberVivi (Claire) @novembervivi.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
I can't really see all that well in the dark, and my living room is quite dark. So anyway, last night I was ordering some basics off Amazon. I thought I'd buy some nice butter, because Ruth has gone vegan and buys awful vegan margarine. So I tried to order some butter. Today, this came
A book, a ruddy BOOK, called "Butter".
With a cow 🐄 on it ffs 
Apparently it's very good 🙄
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
New advisor to the FBI revealed.
Keith Lard - dog lover
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Berks of Delights @dandyandafop.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Thing that made me snort out loud today…
Princess Diana Memortial Tartan shit vinyl sign outside a tourist shop
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
This is exactly what a half-sentient Russian robot would write.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Whenever there’s an emotional bit in a film accompanied by sad guitar music in a minor key, I like to imagine that it’s a topless Gregg Wallace playing just to lighten the mood.
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Balderdash @balderdash.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
The Manchester derby also known as the ‘Which Fernandes(z) is the biggest arsehole?’ rivalry.
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