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Stan Dalone

@standalone.bsky.social
623 followers 169 following 4.8K posts

Progenitor of grip and dip cuisine.

PostsRepliesMedia
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Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 22h
The “super intelligence” thing is useful in the sense that if someone calls AI that you know you are dealing with a TURBO bozo
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Sorry but I can’t stop watching this 3 minute long AI slop video about a Yankees baseball who abandons his Red Sox family, all of whom have increasingly inaccurate ways of pronouncing the word “cuh”
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
To Jhoan Duran’s bafflement, Austin Riley was not fazed by 100 mph straight down the middle.
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InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Your son's playdates are LOST CAPITAL. Listen to Jay Weingarten, a man very comfortable around information.
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
A guy says to his mechanic "Hey Fran, my 1950's Studebaker is making a weird noise." The car sounds out "booum da hu da hmmh da hoon da ina." Fran opens the hood and says "well, there's your problem." A pleasant man with piercing, a beard and dreadlocks sits near the engine. Frank remarks "Jonathan Davis from Korn is under the hood."
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dan mentos @danmentos.com · 27/09/2026
[shopping at costco] why do hot dogs come in packs of 192 but the buns come in packs of 146
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Standplaats Kraków could really use some cash! @standplaatskrk.pl · 14/09/2026
[a bumper sticker on the back of a car: a picture of Elizabeth Holmes staring with a wide, unblinking smile.]
"Why Would I Brake Check You?
There's No Reason For Me To Do That"
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JLP @jlp.systems · 24/09/2026
I had to make this a jingle
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 10/11/2023
Boiling my invite codes to make a sticky, flavorless pablum.
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 05/08/2023
I’m building a primitive structure out of unredeemed invite codes.
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Katelyn Burns @katelynburns.com · 25/09/2026
🧐 www.axios.com/2024/10/25/m...
axios.com
Scoop: Meta strikes multi-year AI deal with Reuters
It's the first news deal Meta has made in the AI era.
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I took one of those pills that Mitch McConnell takes before he goes to work.
Mitch McConnell pill face
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Just drove by a cemetery with a headstone that just said “Magrave”. That could be anybody.
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
At an airport in Texas. #StanTravel
WhatAburger and Stan at DFW
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Eoin Higgins @eoinhiggins.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
You’re right—that plane shouldn’t have gone there. That’s my fault, and I should have made sure there wasn’t a terminal in the landing path. Would you like me to call emergency services, or assist with lining up takeoffs?
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
@jaymilton.bsky.social put this in the pelican thread (it’s from 2 weeks ago, I didn’t have cell service at the beach and couldn’t post it right away, too tired to find the pelican thread)
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Stan Dalone doesn’t post as much as he used to because he is old, dried up, and out of tweet ideas. Fact Check: FALSE 👎 Stan Dalone is Busy these days: TRUE 👍
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Currently flying across the country so you can expect post and reply responsiveness to #increase #accordingly as long as WiFi is working. #PostLikeYoure35 ✈️
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Max Kennerly @maxkennerly.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
"This election is about the threat of trans kids" is the worst possible messaging for Dems yet so many candidates are leaning into it. No voter will flip R->D over it. Low-info voters read this as "you're focused on bullshit that doesn't affect me" while the base reads this as "you're an asshole."
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Jay @jaymilton.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
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Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 19/09/2026
Kurt Russell in TOMBSTONE. “I SEE STEAK DIANE, I ORDER IT”
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Shane Clifford @brilliantshane.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
@standalone.bsky.social ?
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
I’ve heard more than enough about how awful he is. I will no longer be eating Robert Kraft’s cheese.
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Good Joel @joelsoda.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Making a country music mix of songs that mention Covid
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US Out Of Chicago @raucousdukakis.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Can't wait to see a cop shoot someone's dog in the first episode then spend the season on paid administrative leave before the review board exonerates them.
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🔪🔪🔪bryan 🔪 🔪 🔪 @murderxbryan.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
It’s pretty smart politically to alienate a group that you would probably get like 90% of their votes so that you can appeal to some imaginary transphobe that will vote for a Democrat instead of their preferred candidate which is literally anyone else
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
Copyright law only applies to the balloon when it isn’t airborne. Fly high, Dazmanian Rascal 🙏 🌪️
Daz the whirling rascal hot air balloon
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Waldo Jaquith @waldo.net · 11/09/2026
Here’s how the New York Times describes this moment in their coverage:
At one point Mr. Trump asked attendees to raise their right hands and pledge to him that he would vote with their family and friends.
Dutifully, they did.
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Aaron Rupar @atrupar.com · 11/09/2026
Vance and Trump do a cheek-bump
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Ian Boudreau @ianboudreau.com · 10/09/2026
People get confused about the trans sports thing because at a glance it seems like a small issue that impacts a very small number of people and thus makes sense as a "reasonable" concession. But it isn't, because conceding that is accepting that a kid's trans identity is on some level fraudulent
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Marilyn Manson had a rib removed so he could get better ultrasound images of his own kidney.
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drewtoothpaste @drewtoothpaste.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
"check out this nasty thing I found on X" no and you should go set a timer for 10 minutes and look at a tree until your phone beeps
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Zoe Tunnell ➡️ NYCC @zoewithasword.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Thank you, Instagram, for showing me the wild world of Hog Showmanship where you have to lock eyes with the judge and mean mug them like they killed your parents while showing off your pig
A lady staring death at the judge A boy doing the same
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Dan O’Sullivan @osullyville.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
Classic
Three panel comic. Panel 1: a guy is taking a fat rip of his vape while he girlfriend sternly says, “your vape tricks are getting out of hand. We’re done.” Panel 2: the vaping guy begins to slowly exhale a huge cloud of smoke while flicking his hand around in a circle to affect the formation of the cloud. Panel 3: he actually pulls off this sick as hell vape trick and turn the phat cloudz into letters which spell out: I CAN CHANGE
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 11/06/2026
Three panel comic. Panel 1: two people are laying romantically in the grass on a clear day. The girl asks the guy, “where does the wind come from?” Panel 2: the guy calmly replies, “pressure changes?” The girl says, “ahh…” Panel 3: Professor Propeller, a small, rotund mustached man in a skin tight suit covered in rotating fans blowing air around, peeks out from behind a tree. He says deviously, “that’s right, you morons…”
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
The Roseville Galleria is wife-coded. They should make a shopping mall for men. -Stan
Stan Dalone standing alone at the Roseville Galleria. You can’t even get a normal cup of coffee here.
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Tim Price @timprice.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
>Heard any rumours? They say Meghan’s been sighted at a star-studded retreat in the Cotswolds. But they say a lot of things… >Anything else? Farmer Harlan thinks a werewolf’s been after his sheep. His new son-in-law is pretty hairy… (A new quest has been added to your Journal: Howling Mad.)
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
There should be an oil change place that gives you a grilled cheese while you wait.
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Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 06/09/2026
[reading too quickly] “Tan Guy Detestable” - what is this, Fox News???
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cee @cee.wtf · 04/09/2026
throng.cee.wtf i've invented a new way to browse bluesky
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Stan Dalone is from Connecticut but graduated from college in Vermont, it’s ok.
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
You can easily deface these with a dremel. If you don’t have one, you can do a pretty good job with a claw hammer and a flat tip screwdriver. They’ll still work in the soda machine if you’re careful.
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Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
I don’t believe him one fuckin bit. Isn’t this the guy who had a little private chitchat with Kushner several days ago?
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James Greene, Jr. @jamesgreenejr.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
“I vehemently disagree but I am also afraid of being yelled at” is so goddamn pathetic. Grow up!
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Three panel comic. Panel 1: an exhausted detective leans over his desk with a spread of paperwork and folders. He says, “I’m in too deep. Where is the Spaghetti Man?” Panel 2: on a photograph littered among the evidence, a single small drop of marinara sauce drops with a “plip!” Panel 3: viewed from below, the detective examines the drop of sauce with his finger. Behind him, in a ceiling corner, a rotund chef with a mustache - presumably the Spaghetti Man - holds himself like a spider against the walls.
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Patrick Doran @lunchenjoyer.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
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QuoProQuid @quoproquid.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
techno-optimists befuddled by declining popular support for “the robot that tells you to kill yourself”, “the pervert glasses“, and “the camera network that stalks you”
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