iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

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phil @philjamesson.com · 14/12/2024

your true love gave you eight maids a milking? cool. just one question. what the fuck are you talking about

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Isabel Zaw-Tun @izzyzaw.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

I pry open the crab shell but instead of sweet crabmeat I find a tiny, bustling city filled with people who have my face. It tastes terrible

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donni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

You can lead a horse to water, but it will not be super impressed. Horses know about water

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lauren @lauren.rotatingsandwiches.com · 14/12/2024

the library should host a monthly 'how to cook an egg' night where adults and children alike are provided a quiet, judgment free space to learn to properly cook an egg. this would do society a lot of good

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ceej @ceej.online · 14/12/2024

(Ebenezer Scrooge on his way to debut his new “fun” persona to the family of the employee he’s impoverished:) Maybe I’ll razz Bob a little bit when I get there. I think we have that kind of relationship

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slate @pleasebegneiss.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

santa taylor swift 🤝 flying to the house next door

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Spit out my tots on this one

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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

STEVE MILLER: some people call me the space cowboy ME: dude we only did that once and we all really really regret it

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Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

ME: and make mine a double WAITER: your..your tater tots? ME: you heard me

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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Humans are the only species who have ever managed to invent Arby’s

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

Wives love it when you tell them to “calm down”. Absolutely love it

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ceej @ceej.online · 12/12/2024

a “Full English” is when you prank a buddy by secretly filling their toilet tank to the brim with baked beans

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Nice Dude (sincere) @sortabad.bsky.social · 10/12/2024

My manger brings Wise Men to the barn / They’re like, we traveled so far / Damn right, followed the North Star / I will gift you, this myrrh in a jar

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

Hippo laws say they can’t. Down with big government 👏🏼

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

Hard to tell from the replay, but didn’t it have some curve on it?

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Patrick Chovanec @prchovanec.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

The fact that Disney bought Star Wars and bought the Muppets and haven’t done a Muppets Star Wars is a crime.

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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 07/12/2024

hello, 911? yes, there are a bunch of people here and they are absolutely DEMANDING some figgy pudding

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Glenn Moore @thenewsatglenn.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

I can't work out if this card is for a good occasion or a very, very bad situation.

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

Some will never achieve rabbit in a hat

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Claire St. Clair @sleepy-moho.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

Foodie: Hmm the crisp, sharp notes of this French Chablis will pair perfectly with tonight’s lemon sole Me: This wine is 13% and has a hedgehog on the label I’ll take it

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

Never knew they were chinese

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

9 out of 10 doctors hate this one weird hack

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Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA @buckyisotope.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

*calls son at college* Pop quiz, son “Ok” What’s the opposite of a hot dog “Um…a cold cat?” Exactly. Now let’s talk about Fluffy

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Power move to win the discussion

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Alex Blechman @alexblechman.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Pixar rejected my Up sequel Down. Carl tying boulders to his house to drag it underground so he can rescue Ellie from hell “didn’t make sense” according to the suits. “Why is Ellie in hell? She didn’t commit any sins.” Yes she did, hubris

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Your coworker is now the hatman

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Dave Cactus @davecactus.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

*watching James Blunt mouth "not you" to me after singing You're Beautiful in concert*

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Possibly wrong, incorrect in fact, but somehow still true

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Glenn Moore @thenewsatglenn.bsky.social · 03/12/2024

Nice holy infant you got there. Would be a real shame if someone were to make it…tender and mild

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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

[trying to talk to a server while going out socially for the first time in several months] Hrm, methinks I’m feeling a bit peckish indeed … and mayhaps I shall partake in an, ahem, shall we say, “adult beverage?” Squee!!!

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Claws @ohiocolor.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

“The horrors persist but so do I” i say, for the 5th time whilst trying to finish a Crave Case from White Castle

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Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

got fired from red lobster for naming the lobsters in the tank and asking people if they are sure they wanna order genevieve

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ceej @ceej.online · 04/12/2024

my daughter came home from school upset because she didn't "bring a circle." I guess it was "bring a circle" day. "Everyone else brought a circle!" okay, first of all, I didn't know about bring a circle day. second, what the hell are you talking about

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