iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 7h

wore my HEY COLONIZER shirt for colonoscopy2 and they gave us halloween word searches to do while we waited. an old woman volunteer said she made it for patients and was pumped to hear we thought it was a hard one but words like cadaver and tombstone may have been triggering AT THE HOSPITAL 😂

white woman wearing glasses and pink n95 mask and shirt says HEY COLONIZER and holding a happy halllween word search up with another white woman in blue n95 mask and blue flannel looking down

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

getting a colonoscopy on indigenous peoples day so I am gonna tell the doc to not to colonize my butthole

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Harlan Coben’s I’ve Got Your Nose

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

If you’re in line to vote for The Nobel Prize in Power Point Presentation stay in line

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Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Ska music was invented when a trumpet player fell down the stairs while practicing

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

big mistake giving me a business credit card because h e l l yes I am having wendy’s delivered for a working lunch. and my accountant can figure that out later here’s my accountant:

a multi colored cat on a multi colored rug with a stack of vinyl records and a wood box behind

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Kellaweena @kellalena.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

In a complicated relationship with taking it easy

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

my fav part about job interviews is all the lying

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Why do I keep scrolling. What am I expecting to happen that hasn't happened already

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🅱️oofessor Killosk 👻🔪 @professorkiosk.wtf · 28/10/2024

if I had a boss I would simply jump on their head three times to defeat them

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 07/10/2026

Wearing my weighted vest to Marshalls so everyone knows I'm going through it

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Harlan Coben Tells You About His Favorite Dateline Episode

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

saw a crow and a squirrel hanging out in the street and involuntarily exclaimed “ooh hoo nature”

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Here is a name to consider Ralph

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mean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I know you want to be able to afford gas and a house and food but the best I can do is public executions

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I earned the cork on my fork

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chris. @azedand2knots.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

But mom I don't want to watch an execution.

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

remember how we made fun of england for voting for brexit and them being like, “wait what did we do?” and meanwhile over here we are like “if you vote yes on no, you get yes. but if you vote no on yes, you also get yes. don’t mess this up or you’ll approve a reverse uno with an assault rifle.”

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

haven’t done my ballot research yet (which is such a wild thing to have to say) BUT I saw this and it made me think that I love how we need a degree in, like, organic chemistry to be able to determine what to vote for to actually vote for what we want

screenshot from voice of san diego insta of man holding sign that says Prop. 41 and 42 were created specifically to kill Prop. 40, the billionaire tax. If either of them gets more votes than Prop. 40, even if Prop. 40 also passes, the billionaire tax will be nullified.

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

don’t tempt me with a good time

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

this reminds me of the guy I was dating and he was at a funeral and sent me a snapchat from the funeral and I asked for one next to the casket which didn’t go over well but like he started it imho

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Steve Suckington @stevesuckington.bsky.social · 13/07/2023

"Have some respect. This is a funeral" *slowly removes giant sombrero revealing smaller yet still pretty big sombrero*

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

and to think it was a white man who made me listen to her lol

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

i’m really sorry I liked taylor swift for 42 seconds, but in my defense, I am a white woman.

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

fun prank: empty out one of your fav dead people’s storage units on the anniversary of your moms death

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

thank you! and fuck landlords so hard like this was something I could not even tolerate nicely in the moment

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

land of confusion by genesis terrified me as a kid and now it’s like sorta amazing. especially bc it is so old and how long that must have taken to make omg

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I was around when it was and I can think of a 100 better ones 🙃

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mothra stewart @gorl.gay · 24/09/2026

wake and bake time

kitty cat frankie laying on the bed and going ham on a catnip joint

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Travis comma bitch @prof-hinkley.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

That's on me, your honor

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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

just passed a guy who looked like a retired ninja turtle

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I love non-binary Halloween. What do you mean you’re iced coffee at a job interview

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 17/11/2024

Grief comes out in strange places, like the self-checkout Me, yelling at the machine: THAT'S GREAT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY UNEXPECTED ITEMS MY LIFE HAS HAD

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

"Forever" stamps are starting to feel like an overpromise. This government seems temporary at best

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It's Abby. Yep @itsabbyyep.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I keep hoping that if I don't pay attention to the news, he'll die sooner

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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 22/11/2024

if you build a house around a vampire you have to invite them to leave

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

[Elizabeth Holmes Voice]: I’m Batman.

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

oooh i’m gonna vote no on that but do understand where you’re coming from

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 26/09/2026

It's really comin down out there (civilization)

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

5) if the deceased left their REAL xmas tree up all year as a bit, you have to commit to the bit and do a photo shoot in september before taking it down

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

invalid since the person who signed it is dead. you have to vacate.” 3) you can start an online profile for yourself on anyone’s utility account as long as you have that number and address 4) paul simon’s greatest hits also features “etc.”

cover of “paul simon’s greatest hits, etc.” with a side view pic of paul simon, a white man that often went to africa and totes appropriated african music, in a brown collar shirt

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jordan [ham] @nursemurderer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

wild things you learn when someone dies tragically and unexpectedly: 1) if the hospital is at fault nobody wants to do an autopsy & independent autopsies start at $20k 2) when you try to pay their rent to give yourself some time to empty out their entire life, the landlord will say, “the lease is

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