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Ian Stewart

@noodleian.bsky.social
128 followers 77 following 1.8K posts

He/Him Them/They, 39 year old human being, watching the world burn and occasionally posting a Simpsons meme or an individual thought. Supporter of Macclesfield FC.

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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 36m
Yet again no surprise to note that Matthew Syed is taking the mantle of 'stupid persons idea of an intellectual' to effect.
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Sassy Smokeshow @sthrnsuccubus.bsky.social · 3h
I'm only back for a limited time. I'm the McRib of social media.
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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 5h
FA Cup round-up. A visit to the seaside on Tuesday, coming back from behind to draw 2-2 with Scarborough Athletic. Flamingo Land Stadium it is...
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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 8h
I saw the media using the phrase 'tough love' when covering Badenoch's latest effort to condescend/dehumanise younger people. Its not a phrase to use complimentary, politicians use it because they just like the authority. Its not about the people.
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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 9h
12 Angry X-Men
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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 12h
The text 'TEENAGE MUTANT GOLDEN SPURTLES' in the logo of the 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles'
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rich uncle skeleton @alexeptable.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Nothing quite says “innocent” like blackmailing a country to get away with systemic cheating
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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
🎶Blue Blue Wine Stay away from me Don't let me be alone It's tearin' apart My red, red heart 🎶 Just because something can be done doesn't mean it should be done. Neil Diamond didn't say the same to Ali Campbell btw.
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
your response to “I was raped” should not be “I was right”
4 panel comic

Panel 1:
A Purple Woman looks distraught, on the verge of breaking down. She says “that man raped me”
Orange Guy standing next to her is absent-mindedly checking his nails. He says “Wellll, I’ve always disliked him and his work.”

Panel 2:
Purple Woman begins to cry. Orange Guy adopts an incredibly smug expression and says “Guess I must just be a good judge of character”

Panel 3: 
Purple Woman dissolves into sobs. Orange  Guy notices, puts his hand on her shoulder and says “Aw”

Panel 4:
Purple Woman crumples to the floor. Orange Guy, looking bemused, asks “Are you crying because you’re jealous of how smart I am?”
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Chauman @chaudman.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Went to make my elderly mum's tea and then came back to watch the football. It's hard to see someone you once loved struggling with mobility and selfishly demanding attention. But that's Ronaldo for you.
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Scott Innes @flyinginside.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Amol Rajan: ‘I know a lot of people think of me as that nice, warm man from the news…’ #CelebrityTraitors
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
tom watson fucking sucks bk logo
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Sitcom idea: Ross Kemp Thinks Everyone Is Killing Him
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No Score Draws ✍🏻⚽ @noscoredraws.com · 01/10/2026
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rich uncle skeleton @alexeptable.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Just keep having visions of some poor fucker getting psychosis when his spotify plays an AI knock off of Mr Brightside but it features his name and personal details about his life he accidentally shared with a bot
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Tom Roberts @tpgroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Shabana, did you know Indonesia is at a crossroads?
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John-Luke Roberts @jlukeroberts.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This is hilarious. I am one of two people nominated for best host, and the other person is Louis Theroux. It's done by public vote. Vote for me! We can do this!
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Andy, the Maintainer @spreadsheetmonkey.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The activities in Fairford appear to be an overconfident, poorly planned, operation to steal large quantities of fuel oil. But enough about the US Military
static.klipy.com
Ben Elton's Politics Bit
Alt: Early 1989s Ben Elton,with long hair, making a joke about a little bit of politics
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Ryan @ryanwright.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
This is how I remember the order of Henry VIII’s wives.
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John Rain🥇 @johnrain.co.uk · 28/09/2026
RAF Fairford latest: Organiser spotted.
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Kelly Welles @kellywelles.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I told you we were about to enter an existential crisis. Poch is at the vanguard. kellywelles101.substack.com/p/schrodinge...
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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I wish I loved anything as much as boring right wing people love pretending everyone’s offended by their “plain talking” and “telling it like it is”.
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Neil Norman And His Cosmic Orchestra @fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Counterpoint: Fuck right off.
Oxford station's Platform 5 'should be renamed Platform 9¾'
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Bryan @elwick70.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Dear Diary Had a really good first day at my new job as delivery manager for a little fuel company called Fuel2You. Feeling good about this one…
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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
We all remember his famous phrase; "You have got to be kidding me?!?"
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Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
NEW | It’s more horrifying than Gove as PM… IN THE TERRIFYING WORLD OF DR. STRANGEGOVE. Sky’s The War Game put ex-politicians in a simulation where nuclear conflict was inevitable. It was arms industry propaganda pretending to be something serious. brokenbottleboy.substack.com/p/in-the-ter...
brokenbottleboy.substack.com
In the terrifying world of Dr StrangeGove
Sky’s The War Game put ex-politicians in a simulation where nuclear conflict was inevitable. It was arms industry propaganda pretending to be something serious.
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Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I just watched The Guardian podcast where Marina Hyde is asked why she picked JK Rowling as her dream Prime Minister and she just dodges the question saying, “Oh, I don’t want to get into a whole thing.” Such a coward’s trick from someone who markets themselves as a straight talker.
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It's Pipes, Mum! Pipes is here! @scriblit.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
*blackadder theme* His head is bigger than a fence He breathes, and everything gets warmer His urge to trample represents A nation's nuclear war trauma Godzilla! Godzilla! The scourge of beast and man! Godzilla! Godzilla! He's flattening Japan!
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__________ @jenbren.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Kids, now it is time to take drugs
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Matt Holland Author Dot Com @gallaethamatt.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
"Publishers can't afford to take a chance on new authors!" update
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Joe Scaramanga @joescaramanga.co.uk · 27/09/2026
It's not a laughing matter but I just pissed myself at this.
The Israel FA will also appeal both yellow cards awarded to Saied Abu Farchi during Thursday's defeat to Austria. Farchi was given a second yellow after he celebrated scoring an equaliser by uprooting the corner flag, an action interpreted by officials as mimicking the firing of a rifle.

Israel dispute this interpretation. “Anyone familiar with him knows it was an imitation of a snooker player, like the legendary Ken Doherty," their spokesperson said.
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Toxoglossa 𓃩 @toxoglossa.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Every time i see something like this, I think about how it was the British press that popularized the “vaccines cause autism” scare. They exist solely to pinpoint the next group to marginalize.
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Pavel @spavel.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
cuth pube
A sign that attempts to spell out "the Cube pub" by shifting the B in Cube down with the PU right before it and TH before the E.
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daryl "rupert pumpkin" b 🏳️‍⚧️ @hypercubexl.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
do not, my friends, become addicted to lasagna. it will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!
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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Just checked nearly all the Non League scores. Macc won 1-0, so that's good as 2nd and 1st dropped points. Rather intrigued by Chelmsford City, 14th in the South but unbeaten so far this season, but they've only won one game and drawn seven... now eight, as they drew 0-0 with Horsham.
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Nick Pettigrew @nick-pettigrew.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Fawlty Towers Manuel: I Know Nothing
Alt: Fawlty Towers Manuel: I Know Nothing
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Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I Think You Should Leave should also be top twenty.
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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Told you this would happen, and we all know that one moment it was going to happen, we could all see for ourselves.... when Erling Haaland cut his hair.
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Richy Craven @richycraven.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Picturing Erling Haaland being sold at police auction like a drug lord's speedboat.
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flyingrodent @flyingrodent.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Clive is of course correct, and the key thing here is not that Watson has succumbed to temptation: he was a bullshit artist and a crook ten years ago too. This is just what the system looks like when there is no longer any need to pretend these people work for you, not their future employers.
theguardian.com
Tom Watson’s move to Palantir is the latest sign of how far the rot has spread in UK politics | Clive Lewis
When a former Labour deputy leader joins a firm built on surveillance and military targeting, it deepens public cynicism – and democracy depends on trust, says Labour MP Clive Lewis
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Ian King @twoht.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The prime minister wants to end the ban on drinking on sight of the pitch at football matches, and it's a ban which doesn't make much sense, but can we be trusted with it? unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/to-booze-o...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
To Booze or Not to Booze: On a Matter of Trusting Football Supporters
Football supporters have done plenty to demonstrate that they can’t be trusted over the years, but how much of that has actually involved alcohol?
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Spooky Snigdha @snig.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Please can someone call the burns unit? 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Has Ahmed @HasAhmed_20h

X

The only Muslim bothered about you eating this much bacon is your cardiologist.

Lee Anderson MP

GBI

@LeeAn....

23h

It's all about choices!

I've made mine.
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The thing about kangaroos is that there’s something just inherently very funny about an animal that can punch you
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Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Burnham reappointed Shabana Mahmood, Polly. He’s not going to lead you out of this. He’s going to keep it going while being folksy about regional names for bread rolls www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...
theguardian.com
There is a racism and cohesion crisis in Britain, and someone needs to lead us out of it. His name is Andy Burnham | Polly Toynbee
I want him to start the fightback next week against extremists who peddle hate and those who despise this country. That would be true patriotism, says Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee
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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Man in a stadium holds up a sign which says; "I JUST HOPE BOTH TEAMS LOSE"
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
It’s weird it’s called Garfield and Friends when Garfield wasn’t friends with any of those freaks
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Ed Morrish @edmorrish.com · 22/09/2026
“people aren’t putting enough into their pensions” oh no, are they just frittering away all that spare money that everyone has at the end of the month “your employer contributes, too!” that’s great news for those of you with an employer
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John Lister - johnlisterwriting.com @johnlister.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
The tuition fees are £9,000 a year but you get a free 2:1.
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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Bluesky / Twitter
Scooby Doo, The great Dane on the right of the photo. Top of the picture in the middle, Shaggy. Left and right in the middle row Daphne and Fred. And Velma is sat down at a desk holding a book. Each one is staring.Scrappy Doo.
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Ian Stewart @noodleian.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Will Mellor beaten in Cumbria World Gurning Championship.
....And headmaster suspended for using big faced child as a satellite dish. This is the news.
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