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Sb

@xtasbe.bsky.social
1.1K followers 1.3K following 5.7K posts

Former writer. Father of two children. I write long silly threads on old TV programmes. Have a look here www.buymeacoffee.com/jetelephone/po…

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Reposted by Sb
Grudging Signup @grudgingsignup.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
[Guy Siner cod German accent] I hope you are not laughing at my Dängelwägen
Guy Siner in costume as a WW2 German officer in "Allo Allo"
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John Rain🥇 @johnrain.co.uk · 28/09/2026
RAF Fairford latest: Organiser spotted.
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Helen Day @lbflyawayhome.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Beautiful everyday Ladybird things Before the blue Smartie Artist: Harry Wingfield (First Picture Book, 1970)
Photo-realistic illustration of a tube of Smarties with Smarties spilling out onto a white background 
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This is like Rasputin/Adolphe Sax but with the universe trying to save them not kill them
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
With left beef? 😉
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Sleestak @sleestak.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
and behold a pale horse. and the name that sat on him was death. and hell followed with him
cat on a statue
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
You do realise that scrapping the pension triple lock will fuck us over and not current pensioners
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Joe Scaramanga @joescaramanga.co.uk · 28/09/2026
There Ain't No Pleasin' You is the radio! This is not a drill!
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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Morning. Last week I found out for the first time that Champion The Wonder Horse (stalwart black and white 50s schedule filler up to 1993) was a spin-off. Champion was Gene Autry’s horse, and it was a 1955 cash in on the success of the Gene Autry Show. He’s like horse Frasier.
Champignon, Le Cheval Merveilleux
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Kate Griffin @griffinkate.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The main reason I use Ecosia as my search engine is that it's greener & more ethical than most. So I was dismayed when they started doing "AI overviews". But hey, answers like this are totally worth boiling a lake for.
Screenshot from Ecosia search. I've typed "how often should you dye your hair" and the AI overview has replied

 "The recommended frequency for dyeing hair is every 6 to 8 weeks for demi-permanent or permanent dyes, while semi-permanent dyes can be used slightly less often, around every 4 weeks."
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Metal Gear Solidarity @mgearsolidarity.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
This has broken me. I'm a different guy now. The old me has died tonight.
The cardboard cutout Andy Burnham game of thrones chibi funko Pop thing that was on the stage at the labour conference possibly I'm not even sure if I believe it.
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In Otter News @in-otter-news.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
After a long day at the aquarium, the otters help tidy their toys away. Payment is made promptly and entirely in ice cubes.
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I'm enjoying the presenters. Widdecombe can wing it. It's a good squad.
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Shaun Wright Phillips is the new Todd Carty
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I don't know Janice is being a cunt working out well for you
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ryan cooper @ryanlcooper.com · 26/09/2026
great piece. man social media is a cancer themomoftheyear.substack.com/p/im-the-mom...
themomoftheyear.substack.com
I’m the Mom in That Viral Giants Clip. Let Me Tell You About My Husband.
You saw me carrying our baby and food. There was more happening in our family that night.
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Hadley Freeman, still a cunt
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Bruno Dias @brunodias.dev · 26/09/2026
"computer, say 'i am alive'"
> I AM ALIVE
"oh my god"
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da share z0ne @dasharez0ne.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
NO ONE - dashare.zone ADMIN
A SKELTEN WHOS TORRENTIND SOME REAL SHYT, "NO ONE WANTS TO WATCH AI MOVIES, IF I GAVE A SHIT WHAT THE COMPUTER WANTED, I WOULDENT OBSESSIVELY BLOCK ADS AND REFUSE TO UPDATE MY SOFTWARE" - MAYBE I WOULD BELIEVE THE COMPUTER KNOWS WHAT I WANT TO WATCH IF IT DIDNT USE 20 YEARS OF STEALING MY DATA TO TRY TO SELL ME THE SAME THING I BOUGHT LAST WEEK - MAYBE I WOULD BELIEVE AN ALGORITHM WOULD ENTERTAIN ME IF EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA SITES ALGORITHM WASNT DETERMINED TO SHOW ME DUMB BULLSHIT TO MAKE ME MAD - MAYBE I WOULD BELIEVE THAT "AI" COULD MAKE SOMETHING OF WORTH IF IT HAD EVER DONE SO EVEN ONCE AFTER READING EVERY BOOK AND WATCHING EVERY VIDEO IN EXISTANCE - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Father had a good week at hospital and now we've had worrying news
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Smooth Dunk @smoothdunk2.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
the future tech bros are dreaming of
4 panel comic

Panel 1:
Purple Guy panicking in a room full of flames. He screams “Oh God! I’m going to die!”

Panel 2:
Purple Guy is now on the phone (still surrounded by flames). He yells “Fire Service!! My house is burning down”

Panel 3:
Purple Guy (still burning to death) is now hollering “My address? Shit I don’t know! Lemme check my phone”

Panel 4:
Close up on Purple Guy’s phone screen. It reads: Emergency call detected. Pay £45.50 to view address.
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Man City guilty is it
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
All I'm saying is, there's a lot of them all clustered tightly together in a small area. I'm not saying anything other than that. They're all there, together. Maybe, I don't know, ask any members of the public to be at a safe distance, you know.
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j4 @jaffa.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The perfect typo doesn't exi--
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Tim Clare @timclare.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
This article opens by saying there's a 'surging demand' for 'diagnoses of neurodiversity'. I'm sorry to inform you the neurodiversity rate amongst the population is 100%. What you probably meant was 'neurodivergence'. This is not just me being pedantic... www.theguardian.com/society/2026...
theguardian.com
NHS bodies in England impose two-year minimum wait for ADHD and autism assessments
Patient groups decry ‘scandalous’ delays as four integrated care boards take step due to soaring demand for diagnoses
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I see they've done one of those "best tv shows EVER" lists. I wonder if it's all "prestige" dramas about violent men that go on forever or comedies that are almost totally unfunny if you're not a specific kind of American
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Vasily Ivanchuk did the famous "I fucking hate chess meme" but he keeps going with this incredible "kind faced old grandpa hates the thing he has to do every day" energy. Wears a nice football shirt to cheer himself up. Loses.
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Pip Wren @lollibeepop.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
A joyous fat bear week to all 🐻
A painting of fat blobby bears
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Snigdha @snig.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Please can someone call the burns unit? 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Has Ahmed @HasAhmed_20h

X

The only Muslim bothered about you eating this much bacon is your cardiologist.

Lee Anderson MP

GBI

@LeeAn....

23h

It's all about choices!

I've made mine.
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The thing about alcohol at football matches is classic Burnham. Sure a lot of people will be going "why does this matter, aren't all football fans wankers?" And those people are wrong. Burnham despite all his manifold faults has an instinct for finding things which are easy wins
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Father has now been in hospital for a week. There are tiny steps of progress but he is very resistant to helping himself get better. I am going to bully him with cards from his grandkids.
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Seeing as this is the discourse: England is definitely NOT the worst UK nation in terms of demanding that its citizens descend from people who've fucked their cousins on the same patch of mud for centuries
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
You know there's an organisation called English Heritage. Imagine if its mission statement was "to preserve heritage for the English". Not "people in England". What would you think of that organisation? Anyway, I'm sure THAT wouldn't happen in any other nation! Ha ha
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Jacob Rees mogg is right, and any nation that aims to define itself by ethnicity (yes, including those ones) is a shithole
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Fun Police fact: Copeland also wrote it in Japanese "おまんこ"
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
CHESS. An appalling string of defeats, no good moves, then I pulled this one out of the bag. Queen sacrifice, lovely stuff.
...Qe2 forces kg1 then Qe1!! Rxe1 Rxe1#
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Go back five years and imagine someone was slashing an RNLI lifeboat with a knife, on video. Would the papers be chinstroking about how they've got a point really
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
What you've got to remember about Britain is that the cities are generally decent, safe places while the towns (Portsmouth for example should never have been made a city) are full of narrow minded wankers, provincial hicks, parish pump dickheads with a cruel streak for minorities
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Justin Lewis @whenisbirths.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
I like how Dave managed to squeeze these protests into his not at all made up hours.
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Ben Baker @benbaker.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Imagine having to choose between Bernie Clifton and Harrington Quadraphonic Discotheque of Distinction.
Local advert for Bernie Clifton and Harrington Quadraphonic Discotheque of Distinction in late 1980.
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Not Anyone You Know @slowcrush.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
That fascist’s knife attack gone unremarked by this guy on the BBC website. Curious.
A bbc reporter in a crisp white shirt in the sea up past his waste bothering people seeking asylum on a dinghy
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James Austin @jamesdaustin.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
And what did he do on that livestream, huh, BBC? What did he do?
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SMD @anothersmd.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
The whole "small boats" issue is a problem created out of thin air by successive right wing governments and amplified by a racist media who don't want a single brown person in this country. It's so simple it fits in one post and I can add this sentence too.
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Just a shitty bullet game, but: hang that in the fucking Louvre, lads
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
I find it insane that if you go back three years let alone five, pretty much everyone in the UK would say the RNLI is an unambiguously good thing
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Jesus Christ
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Stephen @qqzm.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
They only hand out 3 2:1s each year
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Controversial but
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Sb @xtasbe.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
CHESS. fucked this game right up as black but you always have to remember that everyone else has it in them too. From NOWHERE
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