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Sooz Kempner

@soozuk.bsky.social
57K followers 954 following 27K posts

"Comedian". Doom in Doctor Who. Host @mysteryontherocks.bsky.social & Long Distance, Bit Weird (longdistancebitweird.podbean.com) Acting: Foundry Management VO: The Joneses For all enquiries/brand partnerships: info@gagreflex.co.uk she/her

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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 3m
A troll commented on a video I posted on Instagram with "another lefty comedian who just does activism instead of comedy" and the video was me singing Ultravox's Vienna but at the end of the video I go "this means nothing to me, ohhhh Viennetta" and show a photo of a Viennetta.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 17m
He's talking about this more and more since his brain became noticeably soup and it's a nice insight in to how much Trump 1.0, a president who had something resembling a filter, feared tripping over.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 1h
Hi I was going to come to your party but unfortunately an anonymous account with eight followers called me “Snooze Kempner” so now I have to stay in and cry 😢
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Sarah E. Bond @sarahebond.bsky.social · 18h
I’ve seen friends and even fellow professors saying “well, in her original statement” about the Cornell 7 case. But the truth is that Jane Doe called it rape, then Cornell “condensed” the report, and sent it to the district attorney. Why omit the part where she said she was raped while “condensing”?
nytimes.com
Statement Written by Police in Cornell Assault Case Omitted Her Claim She Was Raped
Documents obtained by The New York Times show that the campus police at Cornell University sent a condensed statement to a prosecutor, who then declined to bring charges.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I'm on this week's episode of Evil Men and it's the first in a two-parter about Joe Rogan! My feet didn't touch the ground sitting on the studio couch. Literally. None of these men are very tall. I should be taller. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hkl-...
youtube.com
E249: Joe Rogan with Sooz Kempner Pt. 1
YouTube video by Evil Men Podcast
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BladeoftheSun @bladeofthes.bsky.social · 2h
Zack Polanski said today he would unban Palestine Action, call the Genocide in Gaza Genocide, and end support to Israel. You can vote for him on the 8th October in the Holborn and St Pancras by-election.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 10h
I read this last night and have considered delivering the entire thing as Liza coz that seems to be a good way of consuming the jabberings of Trump.
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depths of wikipedia @depthsofwikipedia.bsky.social · 18h
The Phantom of Heilbronn, also referred to as the Woman Without a Face, was a presumed female serial killer whose existence was inferred from DNA evidence found at 40 crime scenes across Austria, France and Germany from 1993 to 2009.

In March 2009, investigators concluded that the supposed serial killer did not exist, and the DNA belonged to a woman who worked at a factory that made the cotton swabs used for collecting DNA samples
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 05/05/2026
tom watson fucking sucks bk logo
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Lis Power @lispower.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Fox News is honing in on the enemy ... and it's ... Ms. Rachel?
Graphic showing "Ms. Rachel's controversial stances" 

which includes supporting Dem candidates, supporting Palestine, opposing ICE, and stating no one needs a billion dollars.
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James Ross @jamesrosscomedy.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
A mere week and a half to go before next QL w/ @soozuk.bsky.social Luke Rollason, Enrico Touché, Marc Salmon and Verity Sharpe. We're about half sold so there'll definitely be tickets if you grab now. 10th Oct! Pay what you like, BYOB and a lovely time! www.ticketsource.com/quantum-leop...
ticketsource.com
"Quantum Leopard S11E06 w/ SOOZ KEMPNER" at BOLD Elephant
Tickets are now available for Quantum Leopard S11E06 w/ SOOZ KEMPNER at BOLD Elephant, London on Saturday 10th October 2026 at 8:00PM. Click the link for further information and to secure your tickets...
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I'm on this week's episode of Evil Men and it's the first in a two-parter about Joe Rogan! My feet didn't touch the ground sitting on the studio couch. Literally. None of these men are very tall. I should be taller. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hkl-...
youtube.com
E249: Joe Rogan with Sooz Kempner Pt. 1
YouTube video by Evil Men Podcast
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
John Mann is a DANGER. www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmXu...
youtube.com
I Went To Labour Conference. It Descended Into Madness
YouTube video by Owen Jones
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Was driving home from a late night gig I was less than a mile from home and my car was making...a noise. It felt a bit like it was shaking and there was a horrible grinding noise. UH OH! Turned out it was rear tyre puncture PHEW! I told the guy who did my tyre "I was lucky, I drove for nearly a mile
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I have the opposite of Daddy Issues. I have Daddy Miss Yous! Haha.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
me on september 30th vs me on october 1st
julianne moore normyjulianne moore goth
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
The greatest tweet I ever tweeted. Just showed it to @mbalazo.bsky.social who said "....impenetrable" coz he's not cool like us.

Sooz Kempner FOLLOW ME ON BLUESKY
@SoozUK
NES - Remain
Master System - Remain
SNES - Remain
Mega Drive - Remain
PlayStation - Remain
Dreamcast - Remain
Saturn - Leave
Barcode Battler - Spoiled ballot
Virtual Boy - Leave, banned from Twitter for abusing female MPs
Tiger R-Zone - Didn't vote, smashed up local Dixons
7:45 PM · Oct 23, 2019
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flyingrodent @flyingrodent.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Like I say: the lads had a blast pleasing themselves and fucking around but it’s now time to grow up and be Sensible. Back in your lanes, everyone.
Greens slip into fifth place in our poll tracker, while Reform are only two points off third place. Two parties that dominated discourse in 2025 on their way down
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Noah Fisk || 📌 || 45/500 (M&P) @noahfisk.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
"wait and see" my trans siblings are dying & have been dying preventable deaths. miss me with this pile of horseshit. caring about people is the bare minimum, and you can't even accomplish that much without projecting your own insecurites about "perfectionism" onto others.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I don't think Wes Streeting et al would give a standing ovation to anyone they thought would actually enact a socialist overhaul of the UK. I have evidence called: everything that's happened for the past decade.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I assure you they ARE talking about it. I know because I had a post about it go viral elsewhere and there was a deluge of comments from men demanding I provide EVIDENCE that these seven fellas did ANYTHING wrong. Some of them call me a bitch and a cunt. #JustProtectingWomenStuff
thetonymorrison o
You know who isn't talking about the Cornell 7?
The same ones who wanted to
"protect" girls in sports and women in bathrooms.
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LadyBusiness @ladybusiness.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
On my way to a job interview, smartly leaving the iced coffee at home
Tom Ford spring 2027 runway look
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
People in the comments can’t wait to throw in a joke about it being shit music even though Macklemore has a ton of bangers and they probably only know Thrift Shop anyway which is a TOTAL banger. Also, Can’t Hold Us is fucking incredible.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
RIP Esther, sorry I did this.
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Kara Jane Adams @ghostinexile.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
"Pretty soon AI will be able to make entire movies" Motherfucker AI can't even figure out where to place ads in a YouTube video. Not even on posts of traditional broadcast content that still has the intros and outros for fucking ad breaks.
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Joel Morris @gralefrit.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I’ve seen the pitch document for The Day Today and it’s about a paragraph long. I paraphrase but: “This show worked brilliantly on the radio and we know what we’re doing.” A world in which that is a viable pitch document is something that we surrendered without a fight, which is so sad.
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Dr Han-kenstein 🖤🩶🤍💜🇵🇸 @tooriekep.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
What's that? Wizard Thatcher has said fuck all about those 57 scrotes at Cornell Uni?
static.klipy.com
Vladimir Brichta: Pretends to Be Shocked in Novela
Alt: Vladimir Brichta: Pretends to Be Shocked in Novela
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HT4Ecosocialism @ht4ecosocialism.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"For decades, electorates have been mis-sold a fanatical ideology: the prerogatives of the private sector must override the collective interest, and anything less is tantamount to Stalinism"
theguardian.com
The Fall of the West by Owen Jones review – a bracing history of the changing world order
A journalist charts a quarter century of geopolitical hubris and economic overreach
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Slurms MacKrueger @slurmsmackenzie.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
en.wikipedia.org
Jizz Hornkamp - Wikipedia
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Michael Balazo @mbalazo.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
“Hello, police? I’d like to report a slightly sad story.”
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a rare photo of sean connery signed by roger moore @steamedhamms.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
what
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Keep seeing posts on Facebook and Insta about the incredible billion dollar box office the Michael Jackson biopic achieved and the tone is "case closed😎" like he can't possibly have been a child rapist coz his hagiographic fluff piece made a bunch of money.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
oh sweet this rocks very cool from the president who does NOT look absolutely fucken knackered
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
THERE'S AN AD FOR TULLEY'S SHOCKTOBER FEST AT THE ENGLAND V CZECHIA MATCH! I swear there is! Why are they advertising my local farm-based fright night in an international football match in Prague!
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Nobody, not a single Labour leader EVER, has ever suggested socialist stuff before and The Duntmeister General is EXCITED!
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Metal Gear Summer '27 ☀️🥀☠️ @mgearsolidarity.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
If you saw this post before, let's just say if I ever meet the person who thought it was a good idea to make autocorrect change words you typed 10+ seconds after you typed them, when you are on the next sentence, I will go to prison for what I do.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Look, guys, if the dangerous terrorist boat people from Iran etc DO turn out to have just been some chancers trying to nick some poorly-guarded diesel they should never let Farage forget it. Every interview just asking him about his crime money and the Diesel boys he said were boat guys on a loop.
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Disney Prime Video + ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ @disneyprimevideo.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Digger (2026)
Tom Cruise, in the mall, has way too much shit on, holding a shovel so you know we photoshopped really really hard.

"Tom Cruise is Digger"

The real poster is gonna get vandalized a lot in certain neighborhoods.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I know that people don’t actually think Musk fixed the election for Kamala to lose using his magic satellites coz if they did they would be filled with despair about the upcoming midterms.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I’m a feminist but the lady in Billy Joel’s Always A Woman sounds like a total nightmare.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Being told "YOU CAN HOPE AGAIN" by Andy Burnham on a day when my usually bottomless supply of hope has run dry as hell has depressed me further. I don't believe things get better.
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Matt Holland Author Dot Com @gallaethamatt.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"You're all cultists, unlike me who regurgitates all my opinions from Alistair Campbell and James O'Brien."
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Matt Holland Author Dot Com @gallaethamatt.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Quants, lib dems, and Labour briefcases are so funny because they'll storm into your mentions shrieking about how wrong you are, then they'll have AI generate some incorrect figures, then they'll post a gif of someone going cross-eyed, then they'll start talking about how rude everyone is
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Yeah what on EARTH happened there? I assumed everyone was applauding but the audio feed had failed...then the applause sort of meandered in. Very odd moment.
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Mic Wright @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Electoral reform sounds great but like so many things in this speech, you can get absolutely murdered by the details. The number of people who are just clapping at the jangling of keys today is as depressing as ever.
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"Hillary and Kamala warned us, nobody listened" is so funny coz....what, they warned us Trump would be absolute shit? Wow, who could possibly have seen that coming, not us, that's for sure!
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Danny Tommo is such a wannabe American. We think being Christian X-Treme is weird in the UK. It's why our Prime Ministers don't lean hard in to the god stuff even if they're a big churchbrain.
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Podcasting is Praxis @praxiscast.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
lol, he's sticking to the fiscal rules. So anything written above, especially wrt to spending, is subject to ??? and especially gilt interest rate This is the escape hatch clause for genuinely everything in this speech
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Sooz Kempner @soozuk.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Andy Burnham just said "thank you Keir for our historic victory" and just fuck off, all of you, how am I supposed to buy any of this shit?
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Podcasting is Praxis @praxiscast.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
We're gonna stop doomscrolling on our phone it seems, and believe in hope You will pry the phone and posting out of my cold dead hands, Mr. Burnham
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