Mary @maryjsays.bsky.social · 15/01/2026Once I put on my spicy lip gloss it is so over for you hoes. 030
Mary @maryjsays.bsky.social · 08/01/20262026 prediction, I am will definitely stain my new white t-shirt. 010
Reposted by MaryPizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 07/01/2026There are more important things than what's going on in your life, like the particular things going on in my life. 0276
Mary @maryjsays.bsky.social · 04/01/2026Multitasking, but it’s just me smokin a joint and takin a shit. 000
Reposted by MaryBrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 03/01/2026Have you ever considered, wtf? 56425
Reposted by Mary Mary @maryjsays.bsky.social · 19/12/2024All I want for Christmas is a Costco hot dog 4146
Reposted by MaryUncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 20/10/2025they also carry a wide selection of hand gloves, leg pants, and head hats 2940085
Reposted by MaryDixon Ciderr @tittsmcdick.bsky.social · 19/10/2025Jokes on you fool, im already stoned to the bone 021
Reposted by MaryRiotGrlErin @riotgrlerin.bsky.social · 19/10/2025date: me: do you know what marvel and insects have in common bc it's a thor-axe. 1016719
Reposted by MaryJooli-AHH! Boolia 👻🍂🎃 @jooliaghoulia.bsky.social · 19/10/2025Can I get canceled next? I could use a break 0153
Reposted by MaryJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 17/09/2025Don’t be a soup nazi… be a soup commie That’s not your soup, that’s OUR soup Pass me the ladle, comrade! 28922
Reposted by MaryJinothy @jinah.bsky.social · 14/08/2025Kids today will never know what it’s like to turn 40 1022951
Reposted by MaryLa Femme Fatali @toomanycommas.bsky.social · 16/09/2025She brought butter to a knife fight. 24915
Reposted by MaryBrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 21/05/2025some people really go out of their way to make a pickup truck look stupid 1017159
Reposted by MaryBrujoLoco☠️🖤🏺 @patnspankme.bsky.social · 22/05/2025sorry I projectile barfed when you introduced me to your newborn but all I could smell and think about was lunch meat 13411
Reposted by Marydr. uncle boobs phD 🗿 @retroshorts21.bsky.social · 22/05/2025defying the pharmacy gods by drinking grapefruit juice + tequila 041
Mary @maryjsays.bsky.social · 08/05/2025I am just about ready to runaway to Nigeria and marry that prince. 042
Mary @maryjsays.bsky.social · 08/05/2025*gestures wildly* I was more popular before you all showed up. 052
Reposted by MaryMr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 07/05/2025Got my nipples pierced so I could hang bratwursts off of them. 1817663
Reposted by Marystuforreal.bsky.social @stuforreal.bsky.social · 07/05/2025Cardinals: Natures' Jesus Birds 02712
Reposted by MaryJimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 07/05/2025You make me want to be a better sentence completer. 222188
Reposted by MaryOpinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 08/05/2025[the sound of loonies hitting the floor at a Canadian strip club] 1318233
Reposted by MaryOpinion Editor @ Bluesky @dly.bsky.social · 08/05/2025i'm currently having a bad life so maybe i'll get high enough that i can hear my cells dividing 1825334
Reposted by Mary🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 08/05/2025I don't believe in evolution because there aren't any hunter orange deer running around 79557
Reposted by MaryPizza Las Vegas @muyrando.bsky.social · 08/05/2025A non-alcoholic beer, but for heroin. For responsible people who just like injecting themselves with stuff. 193
Reposted by Mary🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 17/04/2025Can I fertilize your Cadbury eggs? Easter sext 16242
Reposted by Maryheadless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 17/04/2025designed an official Bluesky shirt 0439
Reposted by MaryNate's Scary Myth @natesmith.dev · 17/04/2025pronouncing picturesque like barbeque 78924
Reposted by Maryspleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 18/04/2025When the negotiating handbook says "be ready to walk away" they mean every second of every day, right? 1123
Reposted by Maryheadless horseDan @etbeeegood.bsky.social · 18/04/2025just got a TEXT from a FRIEND omg I feel so special ope it’s just an ad from the weed shop 67019
Reposted by Marymean things I say to myself @meantomyself.bsky.social · 18/04/2025Making my kids watch The Net so they know I am not exaggerating about my dial-up Prodigy subscription (1 hour per month) 310314
Reposted by MaryDark Bobby 🇵🇸🔻 @darkbobby.bsky.social · 18/04/2025you're in her dms, im coming to terms with my micropenis 04112
Reposted by MaryNosfrogtu @pogue.omg.lol · 18/04/2025I bet if I had friends we could hangout and t̶r̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶v̶e̶r̶t̶h̶r̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶o̶v̶e̶r̶n̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ play Nintendo and stuff 072
