iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

me: the wetness on the outside of the soda can is actually tears because the drink is dying them: I think that’s just condensation me: i’m not talking down to you i’m trying to inform

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Jill Krajewski @jillkrajewski.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

[willem dafoe unprompted] now, this cookie monster. [toothy smile] what a creature, what a lust. it consumes him. [crosses legs] he’s really a tragic figure.

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ordinary @ordinaryalso.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

narwhal: *impales a fish* yes. narwhal: *now has to eat the fish that’s still impaled* wait.

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

patient: i thought you said you were a doctor me [mixing pills indiscriminately]: i said i’m practicing medicine

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

i’m on cloud 9. first 8 got hacked so i’m pretty upset

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

me [coughing blood into white handkerchief]: i feel the seaside air may invigorate my spirit boss: you don’t need to ask for time off this way

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sky @iamspacegirl.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

The water pistol that squirts jelly did not belong on the Island of Misfit Toys. Just stop filling him with jelly, you idiots.

The water pistol from Rudolph. Someone filled him with jelly and then acted like it was a personal flaw of his.

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Jonathan Slater @jonathanslater.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

My wife left me because of my obsession with pasta. I'm feeling cannelloni right now.

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Maris Kreizman @maris.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

I love when the subtitles tell you what kind of mood the music is evoking.

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

friend: i said slumber party me [dropping pile of scrap wood]: that makes more sense

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

me: how’d the date go friend: i got ghosted me: wow that’s crazy how did the pottery turn out

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Alistair Coleman @alistaircoleman.bsky.social · 13/12/2024

Happy 99th birthday to Dick Van Dyke, inventor of the DVD player.

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

[first rodeo] me: i can’t wait until I have more experience with this

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

cop: we’ve had reports of you impersonating an officer me: wₑ’ᵥₑ ₕₐd ᵣₑₚₒᵣₜₛ ₒf yₒᵤ ᵢₘₚₑᵣₛₒₙₐₜᵢₙg ₐₙ ₒffᵢcₑᵣ cop [welling up]: quit it

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 14/12/2024

me: i would like to buy these craft supplies please michael: no these are mine

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JP @jpbrammer.bsky.social · 11/12/2024

[ominously] now the jingle hop has begun

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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 12/12/2024

Being held for questioning sounds so nice

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wint @dril.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

oh, the bill? do worry about paying. we got you uncovered. your money's so good here. it's off the house

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 20/09/2024

911: what’s your emergency Me: I DO NOT HAVE ANY CRUNCHY SNACKS 911: sir you are going to die

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

Review of the Solar System ⭐☆☆☆☆ "Only one star"

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the hype @thehyyyype.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

Teacher: where's your homework? Me: I, uhhh, forgot to do it My dog [under my desk holding a gun]: good good

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 07/12/2024

[Pompeii 79 AD] me: wow can’t believe I’m finally a homeowner. nothing could ruin this day.

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 07/12/2024

waldo [at the gym]: can you spot me

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 07/12/2024

my neurons are firing they just have the aim of a stormtrooper

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Dave Cactus @davecactus.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

*watching James Blunt mouth "not you" to me after singing You're Beautiful in concert*

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Jon @arfmeasures.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

Me *orders our food fluently in Italian to impress my date* McDonalds drive-thru employee: what

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Viktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

[Sees my girlfriend from 3rd grade and she's wearing a wedding ring] Wow you didn't waste any time did you Becky

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

interviewer: what do you mean you don’t have any me [excitedly]: ask about weaknesses

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

gordon ramsay: you just scribbled your name on a fucking plate me: that’s my signature dish chef

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Nate @thenatewolf.bsky.social · 28/07/2023

“Tell me the truth, am I out of touch with the common man?” I ask. “Maybe a little,” says my butler. I scoff, but my mouth is so full of aged tawny port that I start coughing and almost choke. He pats me on the back a few times. “Don’t touch me without your gloves,” I wheeze.

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 02/12/2024

chef: hand me the cardamom me: like…the little sweater, chef?

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 02/12/2024

santa [eating red velvet cupcake]: make me a suit of this

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 02/12/2024

[some of the way] kids in the back seat: can we stop jingling the bells now? me [through gritted teeth]: what does the song say

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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

SCROOGE: you there, boy! what day is it? BOY: i don't know, i'm like six SCROOGE: well fuckin – can you ask someone

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Rads @rads.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

LITTLE GIRL: *putting a hat on snowman* Frosty? SNOWMAN: w̸̱̠͈͇̩̃̅ẖ̷̨̜̞̹̾͊ͅo̷͔̲͌͛̆͝ ̷̨̩̹͑h̵̬̜̹͇͋̍͠͠ḁ̶͙̟̫͖̤͑̍̑͘͝t̵̨͇͚̼̭̂͌̕h̴̗̭̘͒́̆̚ ̷̖̻̱̋̈́͘s̸͉̥͓̥̓u̷̙͑͌͋͋͆̉m̸͚̳̜͌̆͂̾̊̌m̷̫̂̽o̵͓͒͛n̵̛͚̺̖̭͔̾̍è̸̠̱̱͓̀̌̑͌̚͜d̵̬̋̽̑ ̵̳̥͓͚̗̹́̽̀m̵̘͋̉̋̑̔͘e̴̝̒͠ LITTLE BOY: take it off

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

sorry not a big fan what other vegetables do you have on the cob

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Luke Jarret @lukejarret.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

wife: did you bring the canapés? me [holding peas]: why are you saying it weird

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Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 27/04/2023

[after leaving willy wonka’s factory] me: wife: me: wife: me: wife: lot of deaths for a to— me: a LOT of deaths for a tour!

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Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 27/04/2023

The size of the gates in Jurassic Park suggests they were always planning on letting the dinosaurs out.

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Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 10/06/2023

Hi everyone, welcome to ventriloquist club! The first rule here is do not talk about ventriloquist club…with your lips moving. Haha, just a little joke to get us started. Obviously the first rule is don’t fall in love with your puppet.

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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

YOU ALREADY HAVE NUTMEG CHECK AGAIN

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Pessimus Prime @pessimusprime.bsky.social · 27/11/2024