iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

It’s important to tell everyone you think Valentine’s Day is just a dumb, made up holiday. As opposed to all of the other holidays, found naturally occurring in the wild.

08310

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 12/02/2025

I put together the ultimate triathlon relay team. It’s me, a cheetah, and a dolphin. The only problem is the dolphin is really fucking us up on the bike section.

1587

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

Worst mystery novel I’ve ever read. The thing in “What to expect when you’re expecting”? It’s just a baby.

1565

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 08/02/2025

I bet Pandora would be furious about how popular unboxing videos have become.

07913

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

Beekeeper is the least impressive job. Buddy, I’VE got bees. Getting them to leave is the hard part.

1324

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 18/12/2024

The most relatable part of A Christmas Carol is a writer not making his Halloween deadline so just going, “Fuck it. They’re Christmas ghosts now.”

210015

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 17/12/2024

I would never get my kids an elf on the shelf because I wouldn’t trust an elf who had that job. That’s clearly the kind of remote outpost assignment they give you when you fuck up so bad they want to fire you but can’t risk making the reason why public.

05511

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 12/12/2024

mary: well, I just had a baby… in a barn. so, thanks to everyone who brought gifts. the gold, the perfumes. all things babies love. also the child who inexplicably played drums, like, right in my face. this… this was great.

619037

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

becoming a dentist because I have a LOT of opinions on which toothpaste I recommend but right now nobody cares

1516

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 26/11/2024

Everyone got SO MAD when I started singing Gravity during the movie! Like I’m sorry but I PAID to be here. It’s not my fault Wicked was sold out and I had to see Gladiator II.

30113560

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 25/11/2024

Actually “Happy Holidays” is way more offensive than Christmas greetings because nobody is happy now. The only PC greetings in 2024 are, “Hope global warming doesn’t ruin your trip” and, “Sorry your grandpa is racist, just try to enjoy the ham.”

0718

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 25/11/2024

Trying to teach kids about the source material so before Wicked I made them watch Wizard of Oz, The Wiz, and all 6 seasons of Oz.

5809

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 25/07/2023

friend: I just can’t tell if she liked me, like we just hugged goodbye me: like a half hug or full? how many arms did she use? friend (forgot to mention my friend is an octopus that’s important now): like, 5? me: damn man, yeah, I dunno then

0426

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 01/07/2023

Found out it’s $3000 to get laser eye surgery and $300 to get laser hair removal so I’m just gonna get the hair removal on my eyebrows and scootch up a bit when they start.

522058

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 11/06/2023

Imagine you were a vampire nowhere near the Middle East and don’t know who Jesus is but the day after he dies you gotta figure out why lower case t’s started hurting.

520149

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 11/06/2023

me: did you know there’s a complex named after you oedipus: haha, I’m not surprised, I was king, defeated the sphinx, stopped a plague! what part of my life is it named after? me: oedipus: andrew? what par—what did they name it after?

06710

Reposted by Andrew Nadeau

Caitlin Hulsey @caithuls.bsky.social · 10/06/2023

No one wants to hang out with me anymore ever since I got a bad personality and became evil

13593128

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 10/06/2023

Hi everyone, welcome to ventriloquist club! The first rule here is do not talk about ventriloquist club…with your lips moving. Haha, just a little joke to get us started. Obviously the first rule is don’t fall in love with your puppet.

210222

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 02/06/2023

[explaining the plot of my favorite book to my date] me: so you know how most caterpillars are only a little hungry?

0498

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 04/05/2023

ME: Please, I beg you, just tell me the ingredients. RECIPE SITE: Sure! ME: Thank you. RECIPE SITE: After I explain WHY I love these ingredients— ME: *Whispers* No. RECIPE SITE: —It was a crisp, fall evening, and I, a wide-eyed college student, was studying in Rome.

1396

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 04/05/2023

The year is 2030. Bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. The uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. I go to hug my wife for comfort. She is cake.

17019

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 03/05/2023

Millennials, quit whining. I paid off $150,000 in student loans and own a $400,000 home, because I SAVE. It’s not that hard. I -Make coffee at home -Bus instead of Uber -Shop sales -Had parents pay off my loans & buy me a house because I’m daddy’s special boy -Got Hulu with ads

1551

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 28/04/2023

time traveler: i love your volcano pompeiian: our what? time traveler: your mountain, your normal mountain

231169

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 28/04/2023

I tell my cat “I know” whenever she meows but I’m gonna be honest, I have no fucking idea.

0294

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 27/04/2023

The size of the gates in Jurassic Park suggests they were always planning on letting the dinosaurs out.

0265

Andrew Nadeau @theandrewnadeau.bsky.social · 27/04/2023

[after leaving willy wonka’s factory] me: wife: me: wife: me: wife: lot of deaths for a to— me: a LOT of deaths for a tour!

05613