lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 17/09/2026what happens to yoshi when mario jumps off of him and lands on a platform but yoshi falls down a hole in the level. i think virgil guides him through each circle of hell 14712
Reposted by lil jon lovitzknth @paintedeel.bsky.social · 20/09/2023*noticeably drunk Kool-Aid man turns down the music at a party* i want everyone to piss inside me 7601125
Reposted by lil jon lovitzBetter Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 01/08/2026When the gods want to test a man's character they put him on the computer 241844198
Reposted by lil jon lovitzweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 17/09/2026My Toxicity Score is 12/100, mostly from toad licking 1511310
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 17/09/2026job interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years? me: living in infamy interviewer: can you elaborate on that? me: absolutely not 18211
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 17/09/2026virtually every day, something happens. truly remarkable 1100
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 09/07/2026feels like a couple more body parts should have lobes 3244
Reposted by lil jon lovitzPasta Fazool @christopherdowning.bsky.social · 01/03/2025Chairs are pretty great. You can fight a lion, or sit if you want. 14492178
Reposted by lil jon lovitzmindflakes @mindflakes.bsky.social · 12/06/2026Making you a coffee but forgetting to put it in a cup. Just sort of pushing it across the floor towards you with my hands 917729
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 23/06/2026me: i think cell C12 is missing the formula for the rest of that column ai agent: it sure is you clever bitch. have you been taking genius pills 125521
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 26/05/2026[running into the room out of breath] square burrito 0203
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 26/05/2026when i'm getting ready to toot my little horn and swing my little hammer 1140
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 26/05/2026getting transformed into a pillar of salt for checking whether the other website was still an online septic tank 1121
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 19/05/2026check out our top 20 easy-to-make sides for your memorial day cookout! number 12 will bring you to your knees, fists raised to the sky at the abject cruelty of an indifferent god 0213
Reposted by lil jon lovitzleemanish.bsky.social @leemanish.bsky.social · 12/05/2026you should come over tomorrow - we can open a bottle of pinot grigio and i’ll cook those weird eggs i found 0281
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 12/05/2026watching the dude in front of me at the corner market purchase a single buzzball. i wonder what the night has in store for this desperado 4291
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 06/05/2026my absence at the met gala does not mean i wasn't wearing something incredibly puzzling on a monday evening 0233
Reposted by lil jon lovitzBusiaco @busia.co · 06/05/2026Why everyone else get to have good items? Why my items suck? 1485
Reposted by lil jon lovitzceej @ceej.online · 12/05/2024though frequently disqualified, clown college actually has a very good baseball team 1847158
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 02/05/2026sick of people asking me "can you see without your glasses" as though i don't use echolocation to navigate, hunt, and avoid obstacles 57616
Reposted by lil jon lovitz"max" @ringworm.bsky.social · 14/04/2026(eating a pill i found on the floor of the club bathroom) hope it's a placebo. i don't need any effects right now 031853
Reposted by lil jon lovitzMike.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ @dumbmike.bsky.social · 15/04/2026Oh my god. Oh my god babe. I'm on cnn․com and (checks door is closed so kids can't hear) the minions died. 519621
Reposted by lil jon lovitzlittle lamb @puddleofbrain.bsky.social · 15/04/2026Lady at the farm stand wouldn’t sell me betel nuts because she said I have a child’s soul 2724
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 15/04/2026talking about favorite tv shows at a party and seeing how long i can get away with calling it "twin peeps" until someone loses their cool 1243
Reposted by lil jon lovitznikk @nikk.ca · 09/04/2026delivered! driver left package in dark hole with water 528455
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 09/04/2026inexplicably wearing a beret in all of today's work zooms 4408
Reposted by lil jon lovitzceej @ceej.online · 07/10/2024wandering around the house muttering “Whew… Tough day…” and “Sure could go for a cold one right now…” or “Ugh… So thirsty…” until the player controlling me lets me reach into my inventory for a beer 8927121
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 08/04/2026sean evans wrapping up my hot ones episode: this camera, this camera, this camera, tell the people what you got going on in your life me (cheerfully): nothing. absolutely nothing at all 0262
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 08/03/2026i do not in fact "contain multitudes". i contain primarily chicken nuggets and anxiety 0331
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 02/03/2026when a dog is wearing a collar with little cartoon bones on it...that is Fashion 1446
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 02/03/2026using my powerful intellect to rotate a single chocolate Teddy Graham within my mind's eye 0111
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 30/01/2026[yelling over everyone at a politician's town hall meeting] no one has ever actually eaten a ferrero rocher 0176
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 19/01/2026me (checking my phone): ok if i fall asleep right now i'll get 4 hours before my alarm goes off my brain: 0447
Reposted by lil jon lovitzBen 🏳️🌈 @bvigeant.bsky.social · 12/12/2025precious moments figurines are funko pops for grandmas 0303
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 21/10/2025coworker: man this weekend was wild me (wearing a jean jacket, a little bit louder than is appropriate): OH YEA? 1215
Reposted by lil jon lovitzmave @mave.bsky.social · 21/09/2025You know where you won’t see a series of increasingly worrisome headlines? Inside my hollow tree ever since the wifi went out because I chewed through a wire 110118
Reposted by lil jon lovitzceej @ceej.online · 31/05/2024This is weird, but maybe helpful for other folks: I've been struggling with a persistent ringing in my ears for months, and finally scheduled an appointment to get it checked out. The doctor found a tiny experimental noise band in there. Little table full of gear, bunch of cables and everything 1247562
Reposted by lil jon lovitznose @lightblanket.bsky.social · 21/09/2025Sorry I lost your dog, he hit a speed boost arrow & that’s the last I saw him 019434
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 22/09/2025my face when [doleful sound of the wind howling through a metal door left ajar] 091
Reposted by lil jon lovitzBrendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 21/08/2025NFTs were a bubble, AI is a bubble, but small carvings of large hipped women have remained popular with unsettling lighthouse keepers for 200 years, invest with confidence 444028881
Reposted by lil jon lovitzslop enjoyer @slop.guru · 22/08/2025the all-new, fully redesigned 2025 homie 4787
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 13/08/2025[message from your dasher] hey is it cool if i haunt your dreams a lil bit 1162
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 01/08/2025person i just met at a party: so what do you do for work? me (wincing): computer, 0152
Reposted by lil jon lovitzJason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 30/07/2025At a funeral saying deadass instead of amen 13511126
Reposted by lil jon lovitzjosh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99.bsky.social · 31/07/2025Hey, the common loon called. Yeah, it was hauntingly beautiful 293371639
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 25/07/2025so tired of leaving my house only to be swooped up by the talons of an enormous predatory bird and dropped on top of a tall building 1194
lil jon lovitz @liljonlovitz.bsky.social · 22/07/2025job interviewer: tell me a little about yourself me: my bones are sturdy and strong 0234
