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Lemmie Caution

@lemmiecaution.net
423 followers 266 following 1.7K posts

Half real, half fiction, all kinds of messed up. I refuse to become what you call normal. Deadpan snarker. Cinnamon roll. Kind. Blog: lemmiecaution.net Random Playlists: www.youtube.com/channel/UCCmG0W8gCN… Withnail = Goals

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Lemmie Caution
jamelle @jamellebouie.net · 16/02/2025
worth saying again these these unilateral cuts are illegal. neither trump nor musk has the authority to unilaterally slash appropriated funds.
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MajinBeeff @majinbeeff.bsky.social · 14/02/2025
If you’re an LGB without the T/Q person, block me and fuck off.
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Allison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 14/02/2025
ATTN FEDERAL WORKERS: I’ll say this again: download all your SF-50s, performance evals, and your eOPF. Now. Print hard copies. And make sure you file an informal grievance with your supervisor within 15 days of any adverse action. Here is a template: www.muellershewrote.com/p/informal-g...
muellershewrote.com
Informal Grievance Template for Adverse Personnel Actions
There is a limited amount of time to oppose personnel actions. Time is short.
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 14/02/2025
Happy Valentine's Day, you goddamn jerk. Fuck you. I still love you. - Marwood
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Laurhob @laurhob.bsky.social · 03/02/2025
A beautiful fluffy baby
A gray and white cat with golden amber eyes is relaxing on some light gray carpet and looking to the right with sun shining on him
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 01/02/2025
Hey what ever happened to the "really scary" drone sightings
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Deus Hex Machina @asterionhex.monster · 30/01/2025
The tiny pocket in jeans is for guitar picks. Why is this controversial
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 29/01/2025
Have been clenching my jaw so hard and for so long I've got a headache and a sore neck. Someone take me to the dark web so I can get Ketamine.
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 26/01/2025
Frequently wishing my parents had stayed in Canada a little longer so I could've been born there.
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Deus Hex Machina @asterionhex.monster · 25/01/2025
So this isn’t INACCURATE but I feel like this dvd case is……..misleading
A dvd case for Trainspotting, with the sort of colorful late 90s design associated with teen comedies and the cast in similarly fun-movie poses The back of the case reading “The motion picture sensation that wowed critics and audiences nationwide, Trainspotting delivers a wild mix of rebellious action and wicked humor! It's the story of four friends as they try to make it in the world on their own terms...and who end up planning the ultimate scam! Powered by an outstanding cast of rising young stars (including Emma's Ewan McGregor and a high-energy soundtrack, Trainspotting spectacular, groundbreaking entertainment!”
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 23/01/2025
Really fun that I get to "find out" because other people thought it would be good to fuck around
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ℬσnViναnт ғғѕ @jennyluwho.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 20/01/2025
I forgot to have sex for about 15 years. I can't remember if I miss it or not
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Hoodlum 🇺🇸 @nothoodlum.bsky.social · 20/01/2025
Today, honor a King, not a Felon. #mlkday2025
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Robert Manchild @robertmanchild.com · 17/01/2025
ME: Oh no David Lynch died. COWORKER: who’s that? ME: a great director. CW: of product management?
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 17/01/2025
Feeling a little broken because while I've seen most of David Lynch's work, it never affected me in any way. I can't really think if there's any movie or director that ever made me feel some kind of way.
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andy vs. @im-all-id.me · 09/01/2025
A nice thing people don't talk about enough is the coincidence of hearing a word at the same time you happen to be reading it
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Kellalena @kellalena.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
I would elaborate if I hadn't already forgotten what I just said.
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Stone Cold Jane Austen @abbyhiggs.bsky.social · 08/01/2025
*Shakespeare leaving a leather bar* [Exit, pursued by a bear]
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Hell-a Bambust 🏳️‍⚧️ (alleged transsexual)(spooky) @ela-bambust.bsky.social · 09/01/2025
okay now that there’s a bunch of new people coming over from Facebook: Go to Settings > Accessibility > turn on “always require alt text” It’s a little bit of extra effort that enables people with visual or certain cognitive disabilities to feel welcome and partake in whatever you’re posting :)
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Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 06/01/2025
It's funny that people have trouble understanding asexual relationships when cats are right there. You got two cats, they hang out. Nap atop each other, share meals together, sometimes watch each other poop, etc. Generally enjoying coexisting with each other unless they must now battle.
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 07/01/2025
My heart has been replaced by a potato
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 04/01/2025
I am having the worst burnout but I don't know what to do. How do you take a break from basically doing nothing?
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 01/01/2025
FIRST PIZZA OF 2025
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 01/01/2025
Today will be spent standing on the coffee table and announcing the firsts of the year. For example, I have bellowed "FIRST COFFEE OF THE YEAR" and now I am bellowing "FIRST SKEET OF THE YEAR" Begin as you mean to go on.
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 31/12/2024
Cellphones sans headphones will never be as bad as a bus full of this
media.tenor.com
a man is carrying a boombox while another man walks by
Alt: Two men fancy walking on a city street. One man is carrying a boombox that's approximately half as big as he is. Peak 80s.
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 30/12/2024
I have a face for radio and a voice for mime.
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Charlotte Clymer @charlotteclymer.bsky.social · 30/12/2024
I would love to see a bunch of musical artists and celebrities put on a nationally televised tribute concert for Pres. Jimmy Carter on inauguration day with all proceeds going to Habitat for Humanity.
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Kristen Wixx @kristenwixx.bsky.social · 29/12/2024
Mom, I'm scared. Can you come pick me up?
A wild-eyed dog standing in front of a group of rowdy dogs.
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Argo Tuulik @mixedmartialarx.bsky.social · 13/12/2024
Fighting a malignant millionaire CEO has brought me and my family on the verge of a very real bankruptcy. This is not a drill, I genuinely need your help. Please, take a look at my fundraiser and share it if you can. www.gofundme.com/f/help-disco...
gofundme.com
Donate to Help Disco Elysium Writer Survive the Winter, organized by Argo Tuulik
I am Argo Tuulik, one of the key creatives responsible for bringing you the (… Argo Tuulik needs your support for Help Disco Elysium Writer Survive the Winter
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MꙬse Allain @mooseallain.bsky.social · 27/12/2024
If you press the bottom of the cylinder, her legs collapse
Photo of Nutmeg standing on all fours on top of a small cylindrical stool
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 26/12/2024
Every day I wake up and ask myself what I'm doing. One day I hope to have an answer.
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Knorg @knorg.bsky.social · 26/12/2024
Entered the party covered in scraps of holly and ivy. Praised for my seasonal spirit, I didn't let on that I'd been lured into a hedge and mugged by wrens.
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 25/12/2024
The Christmas you get you deserve
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Niléane @mastodon.nileane.fr · 24/12/2024
This German meme was just brought to my attention and I feel obligated to reshare it here Frohe Weihnachten
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Dr. Stephanie @punkrockscience.bsky.social · 25/12/2024
RECALL OF RAW CAT FOOD FOR H5N1 contamination (cat death)! Recalled Northwest Naturals raw/frozen turkey food has “Best by” dates of 05/21/26 and 06/23/2026; sold nationwide through distributors in AZ, CA, CO, FL, GA, IL, MD, MI, MN, OR, PA, RI and WA, as well as British Columbia. Details here:
apps.oregon.gov
Post - Newsroom
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 24/12/2024
Hey, Lemmie. You working Christmas eve? You know it, man. Are you high as shit at 10am, Lemmie? I am a goddamned butterfly, my dude.
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WuTangIsForTheChildren @wutangforchildren.bsky.social · 24/12/2024
You’re the US Marines band at the White House and Mavis Staples 👑 walks into the room so you start playing "I’ll Take You There" and this happens👇
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Ygrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 23/12/2024
made it this far through life without getting sucked down the shower drain but that doesn’t mean I will stop being wary of it
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 22/12/2024
Hotboxing my own guest bathroom tonight
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The Fake History Hunter @fakehistoryhunter.net · 22/12/2024
Friendly reminder: if you have a special lady in your life but you're not sure what to get her (and you've already bought her my book) then buy her a sword, you can't go wrong with a sword. By Guillaume de Digulleville, 14th century. gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/b...
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Davoid (extra screams) @davoid.bsky.social · 22/12/2024
[A-ha wrapping presents] Taaaape onnnn meeee
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Elle @elleisanisland.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
we need to acknowledge that B12 is clearly planning something
Drawing of the chemical structure of vitamin molecules. For some reason, vitamin b12 is much larger and more complicated
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Kelly @broadwaybabyto.bsky.social · 21/12/2024
To every guy who came into the comments on my Gisele Pelicot article to yell “not all men” at me and demand I give due deference to the good guys… It’s time to be quiet. Investigation uncovered more than 70,000 users in Telegram group chats admitting to raping women & sharing tips to sedate them 🧵
telegraph.co.uk
Telegram ‘rape chat groups’ with up to 70,000 members uncovered
Users from multiple countries have been sharing tips on how to sedate and sexually assault women, German investigation finds
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Toby 🇵🇸 @tobestewart.bsky.social · 21/12/2024
It is literally still the Solstice and ALREADY the shops are full of Equinox crap?
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 21/12/2024
I wrote a little story about my Christmas situation. It involves atheists and black sheep and not hoxboxing the guest bathroom
lemmiecaution.net
Tis the Season I suppose
My phone chirps at 9am and I'm greeted by my mother's warm voice. "Limonine," she says, "It's today". She sounds more French than usual and I know she's been getting ready for today. My mother isn't ...
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Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · 28/01/2024
[bar] Me: I’m drunk Carpenter: i’m hammered Dry Wall Guy: i’m plastered Garbage Man: i’m trashed Beekeeper: i’m buzzed Accountant: i’m totaled Quarterback: i’m blitzed Scuba Diver: i’m tanked English Professor: i’m lit Plumber: i’m shitfaced Hulk: i’m smashed Youth: i’m wasted
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Lemmie Caution @lemmiecaution.net · 21/12/2024
Today's (first?) Coffee Table Beltout is "Hey Hey Goodbye" where I sing "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, good dog" The dog is unmoved. For her, there is only snacks.
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