Reposted by RussellYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 19/04/2026imagine discovering a full dinosaur skeleton…super cool, right??! now imagine that dinosaur skeleton is wearing a jean jacket- hang on a sec i have to catch my breath 611324
Reposted by RussellFR🎃 V🎃 @frovo.bsky.social · 17/02/2026i have a theory that when you’re born you are allotted a random, finite number of “awake” minutes for your entire life and when you use them up you die. this thought keeps me up at night which is highly counterproductive 1341756
Reposted by Russellditchpony @ditchpony.bsky.social · 09/12/2025today’s affirmation: I am within the acceptable range of deviation. I am a perfectly roasted quail. if I was a car the mechanics would find nothing weird or rodent related in my air filter. I am upright. There are no stones or excess debris in my shoes. I still have all my bones. 101012314
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 28/11/2025my body IS a wonderland I quietly say to myself after taking two sips of soda and feeling my kidneys turn it into five gallons of piss 010
Reposted by RussellLittle Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social · 17/10/2025Heavens to Betsy Betsy to Heavens Heavens BACK to Betsy Betsy GOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLL 332166474
Reposted by Russellstu of the living dead @rinbcage.bsky.social · 07/11/2024*playing a California Raisins record for a friend* Pretty good right? These are raisins playing all the instruments 252986495
Reposted by RussellNate @thenatewolf.bsky.social · 18/09/2024Started calling the middle of a loaf of bread “the king’s bread” and saying things like “a cheddar this fine demands the king’s bread!” This is just one of the many ways I have scraped joy out of a cold and unaccountable universe. 348474
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 01/10/2025*sarcastically answering a question in front of my grandma* does a bear politely use the restroom in the woods?! 000
Reposted by RussellKatie Didn’t @porkchophair.bsky.social · 27/05/2025In Sixteen Candles when Molly Ringwald says "me?" and looks around, except me when I'm at a four-way stop sign and the other cars are all like "Yeah you" 28628
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 01/04/2025date: keeping an orca in a tank is torture me: [nodding] absolutely…the most difficult thing I’ve ever tried to do 010
Reposted by Russellcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 01/04/2025Call me “boss” once and I’ll refer to you as Executive Director of the Board of Governors the rest of your life, don’t dare try to finagle a direct report to me sir 14817
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 21/03/2025media.tenor.coma young boy in a cowboy outfit is standing next to a man in a plaid shirt and says boy howdyALT: a young boy in a cowboy outfit is standing next to a man in a plaid shirt and says boy howdy 110
Reposted by RussellStevevsninjas @stevevsninjas.bsky.social · 06/08/2024At Jonestown, 906 cultists died of drinking poisoned Kool-Aid, as well as the first officer on the scene, Jeff "Don't Mind If I Do" Ramirez. 8483100
Reposted by RussellJeffistall @jeffistallguy.bsky.social · 14/03/2025My elbow grease machine broke but i can probably get it working with a little elbow-my god oh no 114025
Reposted by RussellYgrene @ygrene.bsky.social · 07/03/2025reflecting back to one of the greatest “chips” i’ve ever eaten. a guy died two booths over when i crunched it 1082792192
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 01/03/2025youtu.be/ZE20gz-0XEIyoutu.beBlondshell - Sepsis (Official Music Video)YouTube video by Blondshell 110
Reposted by Russellcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 28/02/2025JUST PLAY CHVRCHES ALEXA WHY IS THIS SO HARD 1216639
Reposted by RussellAllison Gill @muellershewrote.com · 19/02/2025I can’t remember where I read this, but it’s important: Why is it that when people think about traveling to the past, they worry about doing something small that will drastically change the present, but no one in the present thinks that doing something small today can drastically change the future? 620250885307
Reposted by RussellJake_Vig @jakevig.bsky.social · 18/02/2025"Your outtie posts nearly humorous things on social media to the delight of several." 1647098
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 18/02/2025“Your outie is a real piece of shit but you didn’t hear that from me” 000
Reposted by Russellcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 17/02/2025Left my phone in the refrigerator again so when you see this I’m trying to figure out who or what sent this post 48736
Reposted by Russellcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 13/02/2025Kendrick Lamar just told everyone in our book club I was wearing these pants yesterday. 1050378
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 17/02/2025the tuba player in this symphony orchestra (yeah, I’m super cultured) just sat here for two hours to go “deep toot, deep toot, deep toooooot” like five times 161
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 14/02/2025I’m celebrating Valenstime’s Day by listening to La Bamba on repeat 000
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 12/02/2025fingerless gloves, for when you don’t want blisters but need those tips to tan 021
Reposted by RussellKatie Didn’t @porkchophair.bsky.social · 22/08/2023[someone accuses me of being happy] Me: first of all, how DARE you— 016381
Reposted by RussellAlicia Tobin @aliciatobin.bsky.social · 09/02/2025Sorry, I'm not going to be able to make our lunch date today because as I was getting on the bus to meet you, someone's fingernail scraped my hand just a little and I feel very unwell now. 0143
Reposted by RussellViktor Winetrout @viktorwinetrout.bsky.social · 08/02/2025[gas station attendant pulls the premium pump out and lets me sniff the nozzle] *I nod* 1545885
Reposted by RussellLittle Kat @awkwardwit.bsky.social · 08/02/2025How to get attention without being noticed by anyone ever 510545
Reposted by Russellditchpony @ditchpony.bsky.social · 05/02/2025someday we will have the technology to turn the plastic accumulating in each of our brains into a personalized McDonald’s happy meal toy but until then we must continue gathering 281832287
Reposted by RussellLittle Kat @awkwardwit.bsky.social · 31/01/2025Resting bitch face in spirit, resting corner-me-in-an-elevator-and-try-to-sell-me-your-new-country-gospel-album face in real life 16321
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 29/01/2025I’m such an alpha my scary dreams are called nightstallions 1154
Reposted by RussellBen Rosen @benrosen.bsky.social · 28/01/2025trump: we're going to make canada the 51st state sufjan stevens, rubbing temples: oh my god no no no no no 114915
Reposted by Russellcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 15/12/2024Snake oil salesman: 100% CURES DEPRESSION AND DANDRUFF AND DIABETES Beard oil salesman: I don’t know, it smells nice. Sure, try it on your snakes. 730160
Reposted by Russellcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 25/01/202525 days into Beef Broth Sippy Cup January and it feels like I’m the only one still doing this bros 832691
Reposted by Russellcap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 25/01/2025Opened Pandora’s box. Popping Pandora’s bubble wrap. 16518169
Reposted by RussellLittle Kat @awkwardwit.bsky.social · 17/01/2025If I can be of further disappointment, please do not hesitate to let me know 013058
Russell @208rab.bsky.social · 25/01/2025*me, trying to make a new friend* me: I like pickles them: oh, wow, I love pickles too! me: well, yeah, no shit. almost everyone loves pickles 022
Reposted by RussellLord Rat Squirt @lordratsquirt.bsky.social · 23/01/2025Sure, I’ve got skeletons in my closet, but they’re just monkey skeletons, and the President legalized that today. 0279
Reposted by RussellSwim Jeans 👖 @shortsleevesuit.bsky.social · 26/11/2024GUY: how’s it going? ME [scraping the ‘us’ off my Prius]: well it’s not going great, Ron 45312
Reposted by Russellblank @misterblank.bsky.social · 17/01/2025shrug, shrug against the dying of the light. 0114
