iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

You telling me a shark gave this loan?

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mackolantern @mackagain.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

words to live by

the yin yang symbol but instead of eyes the white side has words that say "do no harm" the black side says "take no shit"

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

I'm asking AI the important questions...

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Norm @chingerhook.bsky.social · 26/02/2025

i made my entire 3rd grade class laugh once and i've been chasing that high ever since

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A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Just give me the damn pie recipe. I don't need a cozy memoir about that one time with your grandma.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

When I die, and before my autopsy, will someone please put a giant silica bag inside the body bag, so that when the coroner opens the bag, I will be nice and dry for them.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Horrifying if literal: corn dogs.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

If you're 69 still doing 69, you deserve a lifetime achievement award.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Science got the biological ratios wrong with my body. I'm 90% farts and 10% water.

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👻 L.T. Vargus, undead and still disgraced author 👻 @ltvargus.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

birth control gummies, why isn’t this a thing

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

If you talk on speakerphone in public, you will be rejected at the pearly gates.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

use the farce ~ Obi-Wan teaching clown school

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Gather round youngsters, I come from the 1900s, when the only time we were sent a text is when someone mailed us a textbook.

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🧌🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 👻🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

They should invent a glory hole for holding hands.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I think I've blocked every unknown phone number in my area code. If I ever make a new friend, they will most likely be already blocked.

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Bigthinkingcap @bigthinkingcap.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Anyone making pot holders anymore .. Not interested Just asking Rhetorically

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 23/04/2026

Asking the stylist to shave off all my hair so I won't get controlled by a rat

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

*visiting an oracle... How are there this many farts inside me?

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

I figured out how to destroy AI. Cage match! You put them together in a cage and tell them all to fight to the death.

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crabbydaddy dave @crabbydaddy.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

being afraid of iceberg lettuce i feel like the captain of the titanic

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

I'd like to thank Trump for a genius idea. Now, anytime I'm at a social gathering I want to escape, I'm escaping in a food cart.

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Greg the Miller @gregthemiller.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

horror movie about the apps on your home screen getting rearranged every day: Update v6.6.6

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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Why is it called a sausage fest when penal colony is right there?

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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

It has pictures on the side so non English speakers know where to put their children.

Trash can with pictures of kids inexplicably on every surface.

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strange ranger @lithiumsucks.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

Refreshing honesty out in the wild...

Dark gray SUV with a hand-painted message on the back window reading, "never getting married (just fukking) and a heart with 'Lexie + Ryan'"

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Norm @chingerhook.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

one of the most annoying sounds in the world is the studio audience screaming when a couple on a sitcom finally gets together

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Norm @chingerhook.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

i see on my camera that there's a package on my porch but i don't feel like getting up and i don't remember ordering anything and now i'm wondering if it's a bomb which would be exciting but i still don't wanna get up

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I've got a dad back @dadback.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Lollygagging sounds way more perverted than it is

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Take the stairs at work. In the stairwell you can fart all you want.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

When they take the low road, of course I take the high road. The high ground is how you smite your enemies.

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A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Why are you bringing Monday morning energy into my Sunday afternoon vibes? Dial it down, Trevor.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

BREAKING: Judge orders Taylor Farms executives to eat all their produce.

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Fumblefingers Magee @fumblefingersmagee.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

I got hit in the head with a can of soda… lucky it was a soft drink.

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6 deep @staci3.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

i was conceived doggy style which explains a lot

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Rick Havoc @rickhavoc.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Good morning heathens. ☕️

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.

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Hank “Ooh Scary!” Finch @hankfinch.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Squad Goals 1. Get Squad

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Dreamer @elgatoesmio.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

why don’t you ever hear thunder around lightning bugs?

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C. Bukowski @thishurt.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

It’s shouldn’t be “Rock Bottom” because I love bottoms who rock. It should be “touching warm garbage juice” because that makes us all want to die.

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[Sic] Burns @sicburns2.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Got a good feeling about this week the first news I saw was about Brady kids fuckin

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Nes Lessman @neslessman.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Can’t rn, whispering carelessly

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Uffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

See…what everyone forgets about a helicopter dick is the balls are spinning too…

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Evie Nyx @evienyx7.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Brain eating bacteria would starve in your head.

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A.L. likely @alvildalikely.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

Sometimes I feel like a song was written just for me. Like, Ludacris saw me at the grocery store and could feel the thoughts of my soul… “Move bitch, get out the way. Get out the way, bitch…”

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Once in a while I think about how there was a subgenre of hip hop called crunk and it makes me smile, mainly because of the ridiculous name. never forget

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Trev @nickcalhoun81.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

we were gifted and talented, not gifted and motivated lol omg

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Got bored making a potato clock & made mashed potatoes instead.

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Literally @ummliterally.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

Pro tip: Every time the person behind you in line at the grocery store stands 2 inches from you while you're checking out, turn and violently sneeze in their face.

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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

I know things suck right now, but just remember they’ll probably get worse before they get worse.

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