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Trash Lungs

@trashlungs.bsky.social
162 followers 225 following 302 posts

Ask not for whom the Vengabus comes; it comes for thee.

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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
This bottom of the barrel asshole is unfortunately my rep and he’s truly been one of the dumbest motherfuckers in Congress for the last 15 years. Absolute shit-for-brains.
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the beggars out of here getter @milesklee.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
everything you need to know in life can be learned from Coach McGuirk
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Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · 13/10/2026
the year is 2026. it’s unclear if the white house press secretary knows how to read.
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
Mark Andrews you are my enemy.
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Image of Springfield tire fire from the Simpsons
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goof_off_artiste746393@yahoomail.com @goofoffartiste.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
The main project of the US now is a line-item vindication of the most histrionic and paranoid stuff ever said by Jello Biafra
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Hoo boy this Carrie adaptation is flaming dog shit. 13 Reasons Why-ass slop.
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William Gibson @greatdismal.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Having long been aware of those tech bros who read my work as utopian porn, where they’ve taken that doesn’t exactly surprise me.
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Suss-- 🥌 @suss2hyphens.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
“No Way To Prevent This,” Says Only Ballpark Where This Regularly Happens
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Yankees fans on their Jeffrey Maier shit again.
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Professor Frink saying this
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Even when they win the Ravens are so painful to watch when Lamar is out.
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Made with real heavy water from the natural springs of Three Mile Island.
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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
all the guys who made harambe jokes 10 years ago later experienced complete emotional breakdowns, became born-again evangelicals, and are now enthusiastic fans of the liberty biberty commercials
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merr-itt came from outer space @merrittk.com · 28/09/2026
there is only one major kind of business today and it is stripping the copper wiring out of the walls of society to buy more money before the world ends
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BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL AKA PRESIDENT FOOTBALL @edsbs.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
when the Cowboys lose in Rio
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leon @leyawn.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
ceo of burger king: our burgers have gone rogue again and infected people with e coli
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skáld @danglinghemmie.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
p̞̈͑̚͞ā̤̓̍͘ỉ͔͖̜͌ṇ̤͛̒̍ ā̤̓̍͘t̲̂̓ͩ̑ t̲̂̓ͩ̑ḣ̖̻͛̓ẹ̿͋̒̕ p̞̈͑̚͞ư̡͕̭̇ḿ̬̏ͤͅp̞̈͑̚͞
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Huge Defector fan, but man replacing the Distraction with this All Ball podcast is a huge whiff. Just totally juiceless.
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Sam Miller @sammillerbb.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
A getaway-day doubleheader between two deeply disappointing teams with 0.2 percent combined playoff odds is a TOR/BAL idea.
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vanoreo @vanoreo.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
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the babahuck @tylerhuckabee.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
god this is good
flight of the concords scene with murray, brit and jemaine. 

"How's this, then? Ed Sheeran, beloved by all, left without an opening band at present. Enter you two."

"What if we want a free Palestine, Murray?"

"I reckon you'll get lots of things for free when you're proper rockstars. This might be your ticket."
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Dude’s on that shit that makes you a faulty Disney animatronic.
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
the week nears its conclusion. darkness falls across the nation. Carrie Underwood emerges
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The Onion @theonion.com · 09/09/2026
“I remember googling the word ‘stupid’ for the first time, reading the definition, and thinking, ‘Holy shit—this is me,’ ” — Derrick Henard
theonion.com
Everything Finally Clicks For Man After Getting Diagnosed As Stupid
CARY, NC—Describing the experience as “a revelation,” 38-year-old Derrick Henard told reporters Wednesday that everything had finally clicked for him after he was given a diagnosis of stupid. “I remem...
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Got my ass
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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Current day Ringo post: peace & love to me fans ✌️✌️✌️ Current Paul post: Just petted dog! Hypothetical George post: heard a new album, give it a listen Hypothetical John Lennon post: Come to “Cancel Me if You Can Fest” all funds raised benefit the Ricky Gervais cartoon where cats say the word slag
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
It seems both cosmically appropriate and a curse that as a Baltimore sports fan I randomly picked Everton as my PL team twenty years ago, because this shit is too perfect.
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ℳatt @matttomic.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
Science has determined: - the Median Baltimore Orioles player - the Median Tampa Bay Rays player
HUNTER CORNMAN

Apple-cheeked blond oaf

Usually hits .218 but turns into Ted fucking Williams whenver he's facing your team

Attended Robert E. Lee-Strom Thurmond Secondary in South BiscuitvilleDAX DONK

Perpetually damp-looking ambidextrous sidearm knuckleballer with 0.95 ERA

Acquired by the Rays for $500 out of the Boat Repair Technical College of Alaska

The moment he’s owed real money he will be traded to the Yankees for a stack of scratch-off tickets
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
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Hamilton Nolan @hamiltonnolan.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
What you say right before you get knocked out by some guy in a bar who was not actually interested in your wife:
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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
I think I came up with a solution that will make everyone happy
A map showing Lake Ontario but with the name changed to "Lake 420 blaze that shit every day lolllllzz 🔥 🔥 "
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videogame history @vghistory.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
letters, question of the moment, excerpt, electronic gaming monthly, magazine (1999) archive.org/details/elec...
header (magazine question to readers):
donkey kong...nintendo savior or just another franchise character?
body of text (answer):
f**k that big, hairy loser. he's just another f**king franchise figure in the stupid world of nintendo. if anyone's cool over there at "n" world, it's samus (metroid) and mega man. that's it. f**k link and his puberty problems, f**k mario and luigi, and f**k this pokémon
s**t.
icq-29211041
mr_sinister@plexi.com
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[toyota carroll] (6,5,,) @iamtherog.com · 25/08/2026
It straight up pisses me off that Dolly Parton was doing this stuff for the past 30 years while the biggest assholes in the world became billionaires whose only charitable contributions are to their own tax-exempt organizations (that they receive tax benefits for donating to & "volunteering with".)
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Coach Finstock @coachfinstock.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Man what the hell. RIP to the unofficial Queen of America
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David_j_roth @davidjroth.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
I think it's nice that the president's most trusted aide is the It's All For You Damien nurse from The Omen. She's qualified and she's doing an amazing job.
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Luke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
The president has a lady Renfield that sleeps in the White House crawlspace and travels in the wheel well of Airforce 1 and prints out his posts for him on a portable printer and wipes the poo poo off of his giant ass and that's supposed to be funny?
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
Captain Planet-style cartoon where all the drug powers combine to summon Keith Richards.
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Jim Tomsula looking confused as 49ers head coach, as he was often wont to do.
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Lilly Wachowski @lillywachowski.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Grimace in sunglasses looking cool as the other side of the pillow is poised at the open door of what looks like a corvette-like kit car. Xe(Grimace is non binary) has a full purple shake that rests on the roof of the sports car. There is a purple gel over the image. A low mist clings to the ground. Is this a dream? Or has this mythical badass been conjured? The song “I need a hero” is most likely blazing on xir am/fm radio.
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
welcome to the field of dreams, an homage to a movie revolving around men banned for life from baseball for gambling. brought to you by fanduel
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 10/08/2026
The casual mention that the cables might now disturb actual human remains is the kicker. Verhoeven-level satire made reality. An entire fandom of sub-literate adult infants with brain injuries.
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Nightcrawler Part 2: To Catch a Predator
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Ah yes, two loudmouth bigots and a hayseed with no personality, they’re the real victims in these situations.
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
static.klipy.com
Sean Mcdermott
ALT: Sean Mcdermott
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Lost episode of Arthur. Arthur's dad brings in a shambolic man wearing sunglasses and also rendered with little ears. Arthur's dad says "Arthur, meet your great uncle, LOU Reed." Lou Reed says something that is [redacted]. Arthur is shaken to his core.
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Kyle Goon @kylegoon.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Mike Elias stood aside Adley Rutschman after the 2019 draft, marking him as the start of a bright future. Now, Elias has sold his All-Star, acknowledging yet another failed roster. Why should the Orioles keep trusting this guy to fix his own mistakes? www.thebanner.com/sports/oriol...
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
And the whole need to stock the farm with pitching prospects was necessitated by the fact that he insists on drafting every corn fed white boy with a fucked up swing instead of investing in pitching. The guy is fucking bad at this.
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Let’s not forget that Elias manipulated Rutschman’s service time in 2022, cost the team a playoff birth, and then lost the extra year anyway. Now he’s trading him for a handful of prospects and a back up catcher to fuel a new rebuild for a team that played in 5 playoffs games and won 0. Genius.
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Trash Lungs @trashlungs.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
Elias is far too McKinsey-pilled to be an effective POBO. He’ll tweak and twist the organization into knots before he gives into the premise that he simply needs to sign better players. He’s Six Sigma’d the Orioles into oblivion.
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