Reposted by SalsabeardSalsabeard @salsabeard.bsky.social · 25/10/2025I’ve decided I’m not sucking in my stomach today. 02310
Reposted by Salsabeardbacon popsicle 🧴 @gupton68.bsky.social · 19/11/2025I just saw a shadow thrown by a cloud that was shaped like a penis, does that mean 6 more weeks of wiener? 1018471
Reposted by SalsabeardAmish Super Model @amishsupermodel.bsky.social · 18/11/2025“My support for the release of the Epstein documents will be entirely based on what the President tells me to do.” -Mike Johnson 32510
Reposted by SalsabeardMarc @runoldman.bsky.social · 18/11/2025Before you sit down, make sure you can reach the remote. 11291118
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 16/11/2025Pronounces macho man like nacho man. 0189
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 16/11/2025*brings a pizza to a knife fight* 0258
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 16/11/2025Woke up thinking about pizza again. 0187
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 13/11/2025A store for people over 40 called Bed, Bath and Beyond Exhausted. 04521
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 14/11/2025Sorry I’m late, I’m exhausted. 02213
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 21/01/2025*sitting on his face* Do you want cake? 23818
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 11/11/2025What if we made out in the snack aisle at the grocery store. 0228
Reposted by Salsabeardsweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 12/11/2025coffee so strong i need a surge protector for my central nervous system 418446
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 09/11/2025Goodbye Cocktober. Hello stache and beard rides November. 0239
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 11/11/2025What if we made out in the liquor store. 14413
Reposted by Salsabeardamberkitty 🐈⬛ @amberkitty.bsky.social · 10/11/2025I can do hard things. I think. 4235
Reposted by SalsabeardI'mWintersMom @imwintersmom.bsky.social · 09/11/2025im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten. 27372128
Reposted by Salsabeardcrabbydaddy dave @crabbydaddy.bsky.social · 09/11/2025this jacket isn’t very straight at all 24622
Reposted by SalsabeardMarc @runoldman.bsky.social · 08/11/2025This is my crippling anxiety post. There are many like it, but this one is mine. 722082
Reposted by SalsabeardLittle Greenis @durtmchurtt.bsky.social · 09/11/2025If you’ve dated more than one Walter you’re letting them Walts right into your life. 621543
Reposted by SalsabeardMiss Havishambles @misshavishambles.bsky.social · 09/11/2025Ok we’re at the ‘looking for something and instead find a massive clue’ stage of this mystery. 2239
Reposted by SalsabeardJooli-AHH! Boolia 👻🍂🎃 @jooliaghoulia.bsky.social · 09/11/2025In high school, I was voted most likely to die one day short of retirement 35412
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 08/11/2025*brings ibuprofen to a knife fight* 03516
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 07/11/2025Find someone who will share their muscle relaxants with you. 22714
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 06/11/2025Welcome to your 40s. You now pull a muscle when you stretch. 12610
Reposted by SalsabeardDaddyJew @daddyjew.bsky.social · 08/11/2025*crosses over 3 lanes on a highway just to tell you to stay in your lane 13115
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 04/11/2025I only repost assholes like me. 01611
Reposted by SalsabeardFomo Simpson @haliphacks.bsky.social · 09/03/2025Can't. Spending the day at my parents changing all their analog clocks. 516059
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 04/11/2025Feed me cereal and tell me I’m pretty 0169
Reposted by SalsabeardWineMummy @winemummy.bsky.social · 03/11/2025My favourite thing about the time change is that I get an extra hour to be an asshole. 0188
Reposted by SalsabeardUffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 04/11/2025Why’s it called a Mimosa and not an Orange Slutty? 0104
Reposted by SalsabeardFulkery Monkery @fulkery.bsky.social · 29/10/2025If my superpower was teleportation I would tell people it’s hard to control and just pop right out of any conversation I don’t like. 17423
Reposted by Salsabeardash @ashhull.bsky.social · 01/11/2025Spring forward, Fall back into seasonal depression. 214051
Reposted by SalsabeardJimmer Cork-Bottle @jimmerthatisall.bsky.social · 03/11/2025I live in mortal fear of mispronouncing pecan in public. 1821278
Reposted by Salsabeardamberkitty 🐈⬛ @amberkitty.bsky.social · 02/11/2025Sometimes a girl just needs some fried potatoes 1312020
Reposted by SalsabeardTess Tickles @titsonthebarbie.bsky.social · 30/10/2025Happy Halloween to those who celebrate head. 610320
Reposted by SalsabeardShade 5 @shade5.bsky.social · 31/10/2025her: have you been moisturizing? me: oh no...that's just pizza grease. 117979
Reposted by Salsabeard🎃EM-SCREAM-KAYVEE 🔪 @youremceekayvee.bsky.social · 30/10/2025🎶Don’t let your son go down on me🎶 1710721
Reposted by SalsabeardUffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 31/10/2025Starving for what you won’t ever taste is its own kind of hell. 0124
Reposted by SalsabeardUffdafuckingda @uffdada.bsky.social · 31/10/2025There’s a kind of honesty that only happens skin to skin. 0115
