Reposted by @rgmayne.bsky.social
Then left again, next left, then take another left, and one more, then left again, then hang left, and again…
rgmayne.bsky.social
@rgmayne.bsky.social
28 followers 74 following 162 posts
Here for a long time, not a good time
![Comic. [Next to a two-story house and some trees is a huge rail (several times the height of the house) with an incomplete huge wheel on top surrounded by scaffolding.] [caption] Due to a typo in the plans, I’ve been building an 87:1 model train set in my yard.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreicc6re2xjfzasl5jhzh7jmti3dc7ippkxxvyqji3eqrs2dhuh6xki)
![1
[outside view of a toothpaste factory, signalled with a big sign on top in shape of a toothpaste tube]
SCIENTIST [a voice coming from inside factory]:
So that's decided
2
SCIENTIST:
We're going to make the three types of toothpaste...
[he gestures to three tubes of toothpaste in front of him]
3
SCIENTIST:
Fluoride, Slightly Different Fluoride, and Flouride But Sensitive.
[voice from off-scene];
WAIT!
4
[a CHARACTER has entered. They are dressed like a magician. I've not decided what sort of character, maybe like an animal in a top hat or something. But magician-esque. They are named David Advanced Plus+].
SCIENTIST:
Who are you?
DAVID ADVANCED PLUS+:
I'm David Advanced Plus+
5
SCIENTIST:
Plus plus?
DAVID ADVANCED PLUS+:
Plus+
6
DAVID ADVANCED PLUS+:
I'm David Advanced Plus+ and I want you to watch carefully...
7
DAVID ADVANCED PLUS+:
I'm going to say the magic word....
8
DAVID ADVANCED PLUS+:
Activeprocharcoalgumproproformula3Dshinepearlssensicooolingvisiwhitecharcoalproprotectproprotectplus+PLUS+ !
9
[he waves his wand and lots of different-coloured toothpaste tubes appear]
10
SCIENTIST:
So many toothpastes! Are they...better?
DAVID ADVANCED PLUS+:
Are they bollocks
11
DAVID ADVANCED PLUS+:
They are exactly the same...
...but plus+.
12
SCIENTIST:
Plus plus?
DAVID ADVANCED PLUS+:
Plus+.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreifyfh7ith5jx2s5woivw355gjzoc3kef2vf4nhkbalkukkz5syrpe)
![[Title panel]:
A-LEVEL RESULTS COLUMNS DAY
[Scene is a TV news type report about A Level results day]
REPORTER [talking to camera outside a school where students are crowding outside the hall to get in]:
Well, it's that day again
When A-Level students across the country finally get to find out
What Britain's newspaper columnists think about their results.
[show the interior of the school hall, with long tables, but instead of results papers on them, loads of middle-aged newspaper columnists are all laid out]
[Close up on the COLUMNISTS lying on the table, talking up to a gaggle of excited students desperate to find out what they say]
PETER HITCHENS:
I remember when A-Levels meant something
CLARKSON:
I got a C and two U's
[Cut to outside the hall, the REPORTER is talking to a student]
REPORTER:
And did you get the middle-aged opinions you wanted?
STUDENT:
Yes!
I got one ‘There's Too Much Humanities’,
and two Oxford graduates telling me they went to Oxford.
REPORTER [now doing a voiceover, as we see the students in the school hall next to the columnists on tables, and the students are preparing to jump in the air for a photographer]:
And then the annual photo shoot…
[PHOTOGRAPHER]
One, two, three...
[One of the columnists on the table pipes up with]:
What's The Point Of University in 2026?
[The students all jump for joy]
STUDENTS:
HOORAY!
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiauzow46czexl5p6tdraopiegsutr63pkiar6cescidhxaluclska)
![[Scene is a TV REMOTE CONTROL with a finger hovering above it. The voice we hear is coming from one of the APP BUTTONS which are located directly beneath the navigation play/pause etc buttons].
1
Hey Mr Finger yeah you’re gonna press me
2
I’m a button for some random thing called BoBuuTV
[closer up on the button speaking, it is for some unknown streaming platform called BoBuuTV]
3
I be hangin' with my homies: Disney, Netflix and Prime
4
When you accidentally press me and it’s…
5
...BoBuu tiiiime!
[scene now has a couple trying to watch TV but they've accidentally turned on BoBuu]
MAN:
Argh sorry
6
I’ve got the bad remake of Poltergeist,
[Show the App Library with bad horror films, including Poltergeist, 2015]
7
The ouvre of Seann William Scott
[show the films of the now-disappeared early 2000s star, Seann William Scott]
8
And a catalogue of films which looks like proper films but not.
[Show a library of lots of knock-off films, like you get on Rakuten TV or PlutoTV]
9
So I’m never pressed on purpose!
Does BoBuu look like BoBuu cares?
10
I still get more finger action than them Ceefax freaks down there.
[Show the coloured buttons at the bottom of the remote]
11
[Show the couple again, trying to watch iPlayer, the woman just returning from a wee break as the man goes to unpause their show]
Yeah BoBuu’s doin’ fine
I’m gettin’ pushed four times a day
Cos the sadist who designed us
WOMAN:
OK turn it back on
12
Put me right beneath Pause/Play.
[BoBuu app com back on the screen]
WOMAN:
Oh DAVE
MAN:
Argh sorry
[Ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreidtodni3of4grk3zbyogggmymo26g2v6fh46fjft2anfois2tym6u)
