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metricfuture.bsky.social

@metricfuture.bsky.social
1.8K followers 1.5K following 396 posts
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
got bass. in pocket. it's mottled. i'm gonna use it.
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Kevin Hearne @kevinhearne.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
How do we incentivize people to paint wizards on their vans again I haven’t seen a wizard van in a decade and it feels like we lost something precious Can we offer up a tax credit? Little bags of shrooms? Start a wizard van painting program at vocational schools?
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
This is actually part of the early selection process. The Vatican initiates The Silly Sacraments (Funny Hat Vetting to the laity) for potential Popes *decades* in advance.
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Stella Sacco @antlervel.vet · 18/09/2026
Share if you agree
Fat little chihuahua puppy (maybe?) looking extremely round and smiling lying on a tan fleece blanket
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Screenshot from the end of Mac and Me (1988): a giant speech bubble reading "WE'LL BE BACK" emerging from a pink convertible. This threat remains mercifully unfulfilled.
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worm @rfksbrainworm.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
we need more bats on here
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journeyman folklorist @aniceburrito.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
1 month progress selfie
A mudskipper with its mouth wide open
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los 🦦 @los-los.bsky.social · 15/06/2026
los come in, we’re getting ready to go to the club me:
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da share z0ne @dasharez0ne.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
RIP DOLLEY - dashare.zone ADMIN
A SKELETEN GAZING INTO DA FUTURE THINKING ABOUT "WHEN IT WILL HAPPEN" FOR ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE - "THE WRONG PEOPLE KEEP DYING, CAUSE THERE BUILDING A GANG IN DA AFTER LIFE FOR WHEN THE RIGHT PEOPLE SHOW UP - U KNOW WHO, I RESPECT TERMS OF SERVICE " - NO AFTER LIFE FOR ME IM GONNA BE STUCK IN SAMSARA FOR A WHILE "CANT STOP PARTAKING IN DA SUFFERING" - DASHARE.ZONE ADMIN
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Fun @funkelly.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
a dusty little dupa to share with the class
A black rain frog, a little grumpy guy (you can’t see his face here but trust me) is burnt umber in color with little yellow patches all over. A human hand is holding them up to show us their backside. Why? Because they have a little butt and it’s very cute.
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Noam @noamtl.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
How would I get by without AI? If I need a factually-dubious opinion expressed in a cliched manner with unearned confidence, I’ll just talk to a straight white cis man. I can get by on small-batch, locally-sourced, artisanal mansplaining, the way we always used to.
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Stevie Kilner @1steviekilner.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
If anyone would like to see a short video of a baby Armadillo having a drink of milk, this is your lucky day.
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✧𝔪𝔲𝔡 𝔰𝔠𝔞𝔪𝔭✧ @altaudge.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
just having a light snack
a bat on top of a piece of watermelon biting it
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Lizzie O'Leary @lizzieohreally.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Furthering my theory that this entire website is for people who owned Doonesbury collections as children and understood about a third of it.
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Elizabeth Lopatto @lopatto.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
if you're interested in taking up a heterodox position, write an essay entitled "valerie solanas was right," boys. let's see how contrarian you really are
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach...
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Matthew @thealtarofandy.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
I’ve watched this 7 times.
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
every hometown’s got the ominous megastructure, what’s yours?
Pink and purple two-story opera house on the corner of a Texas town square.  It houses one of the largest used book stores in America, Recycled Books.  The definitions of "ominous" and "hometown" have been stretched slightly in the interest of narrative cohesion.
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Abby @arobertswrites.com · 10/05/2026
Humans are just busy work, God's real passion is crabs.
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Cat Manning @catacalypto.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
I’m at the bread and circuses. I’m at the damnatio memoriae. I’m at the combination bread and circuses damnatio memoriae
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Chickadee In Flight⚢ 飛翔でアメリカコガラ @xybutch.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
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c0nc0rdance @c0nc0rdance.bsky.social · 01/06/2026
Can I interest you in a moist owlette as a timeline cleanse? This is Sassafras the Eastern Screech Owl from the Cincinnati Zoo (@cincinnatizoo.bsky.social, but via their FB) and I love him very much. Eastern Screech Owls (Megascops asio) are native to eastern North America.
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Astra| 2D artist #COMMISSIONS @cosmicastra.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
OH GOD IT'S GOING TO EAT THAT WOMAN
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Bonertown @thisisbonertown.bsky.social · 23/05/2026
What a man. A dragon-man.
Trogdor cosplay at Fanime 2026 in the Dealers Hall.  Photo taken May 23, 2026.
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Sandra Newman @sannewman.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
January 17,200,345 B.C. Evolved into a crab again. Scuttled along the floors of silent seas all morning. Saw Andy in the p.m.. He'd just invented a "wheel" and could speak of nothing else. Didn't even mention my carcinization. I feel like I'm invisible even to close friends.
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James Medlock @jdcmedlock.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
Comic panel of Donald Duck and a wide-eyed young Mickey Mouse. Donald's speech bubble: "Democrats should do a huge middle class tax cut to address affordability." Mickey's speech bubble: "Fool that you are, for you treat taxation as a burden rather than the means by which our burdens are eased. Behold a civilization rich in private wealth yet starved of public provision, where every man owns what his grandfathers could not imagine and yet trembles at the thought of how he will weather an illness or loss of livelihood. Will you fight for an affirmative vision of broad contribution and universal benefit? Or will you perish like a dog?"
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Joyce M @jkmoore.bsky.social · 20/04/2026
Pa. court recognizes ‘reproductive autonomy’ as a right, strikes down ban on public funding for abortion www.inquirer.com/news/pennsyl...
inquirer.com
Pa. court recognizes ‘reproductive autonomy’ as a right, strikes down ban on public funding for abortion
In a 4-3 ruling, the Commonwealth Court found that abortion access is a fundamental right guaranteed by the Pennsylvania Constitution.
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 19/04/2026
irrationally hangry screaming at food for showing up late
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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 15/04/2026
Death doula, the mic rula, the old schoola, you want a RIP, I’ll bring it to ya
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Notorious RBMK @comraderobot.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
i vetted this to make sure it wasn’t ai so you could enjoy it fully
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 01/04/2026
TGITVATLOST, amirite?
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Screaming Pectoriloquy @caulimovirus.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
she’s all that movie poster but the name is changed to she’s all thatch and rachel leigh cook’s character is replaced with thatch
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
Desperate times call for Desperate Living
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J Farrers @jfarrers.bsky.social · 03/09/2024
Not sure if I ever introduced Bluesky to the terrible autotranslations of Swedish & Norwegian foodstuffs and recipes. Here’s a few of my favourites.
Printed Fish with Raw FoodBinoculars with sausage and tomato
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maple cocaine @maplecocaine.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
My large mutant son Snaxon just ordered a hamburger and chicken nuggets at La Tour d'Argent and the waiter shot him with a tranquilizer dart and sold him to the circus
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the beggars out of here getter @milesklee.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
so hot this week the cacti are doing their freak shit
cactus with new, red, horny protrusions
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dissected @trepanation.bsky.social · 16/03/2026
me: sure is nice to not have a long tube for a mouth my moth buddy Proboscis James: (angrily sucking up nectar)
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Everyone’s Favourite Jim @jimmeruk.bsky.social · 12/03/2026
A photo in an Ikea store showing the 'Skubb' display. The text has been changed to the lyrics from No Scrubs by TLC.
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John Bull @garius.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
The Museum of Scotland using small children in size comparison info panels is absolutely sending me.
Giant snake on an info panel about to eat a screaming child
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Seth Cotlar @sethcotlar.bsky.social · 28/02/2026
Some excellent headlines from the April 1963 National Eagle, the Portland, OR newspaper edited by the future chair of the Oregon Republican Party.
SMUT FROM COMMUNISTS
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Good Trailcams @goodtrailcams.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
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Nick Kodama @nickkodama.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
roses are red cherenkov is blue just use a screwdriver what's the worst it could do
Demon core experiment
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
COURTSHIP 👏 IS 👏 A 👏 CONTINUUM 👏
Leatherbound Oxford English Dictionary. 2481 pages.
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
[Werner Herzog voice]
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
cheese down skin up that's the way I fuck it up
Loaded Potato Skins cooking instructions. Air Fryer: Load basket with potato skins, cheese side up.
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Tom Cox @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social · 12/02/2026
3. This is a Small Magpie. As you can see, it is, to all outward appearances, not currently in a relationship, so when you see it, be sure to say "Good morning Mr Magpie, and how's your wife?" to avoid bad luck.
A Small Magpie Moth on my living room ceiling, listening to the third West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band album.
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Woodrow Peel 🆗🆒 @woodyluvscoffee.bsky.social · 02/08/2025
Go for it. I don't even care any more.
Photo of a sketch of a Neanderthal. The headline reads:
Scientists Growing Neanderthal
'Minibrains', Will Connect Them to Crab Robots
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metricfuture.bsky.social @metricfuture.bsky.social · 10/02/2026
They're a bit bigger than dalmatians, but you still need a ton of them for a single garment.
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