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mayagerard0

@mayagerard0.bsky.social
40 followers 146 following 160 posts
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POKEY THE PENGUIN @pokeythepenguin.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
MY NAME IS POKEY THE PENGUIN!!! I HAVE INTERIORITY!!!!
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onion person @junlper.beer · 07/10/2026
free palestine
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Evan Washington @eewash.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
[guy who still doesn't get it]: ah thanks now I get it
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POKEY THE PENGUIN @pokeythepenguin.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
LEFT BEHIND yellow5.com/pokey
A MAN STATES TO POKEY:  POKEY, DON'T GET ... LEFT BEHIND!!!

POKEY REPLIES:  OK!

THE MAN LEAVES!!

THE SMALL CHILD APPROACHES AND ASKS POKEY:  POKEY, DID YOU GET ... LEFT BEHIND TOO???

POKEY REPLIES:  I DON'T KNOW!!!

SHE ASKS:  POKEY WHERE DID THEY GO???

HE RESPONDS:  LITTLE GIRL, THEY ARE GOING THEIR OWN WAY
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jpicone @me.jamespicone.name · 30/08/2026
Stolen from discord memes channel
Nine-panel Calvin and Hobbes strip, edited.

Panel 1: A bespectacled doctor in a white coat leans over a desk, holding out a small box to Calvin. "Put your right hand in the box."

Panel 2: Calvin, clutching Hobbes, looks up warily. "What's in the box?" The doctor, hand resting on the box: "Pain."

Panel 3: Calvin howls, "Why are you doing this??" The doctor answers with eyes closed and a faint smile: "An animal in a trap will gnaw off its own leg to escape. What will you do?"

Panel 4: Cut to the waiting room. Calvin's mum sits in a chair reading a magazine. From off-panel: "No need to call for help. Your mother is behind that door. None will get past her."

Panel 5: Mum reads on, magazine raised. She whispers: "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration…"

Panel 6: A jagged burst of shouting from off-panel: "NO!! I'll never cooperate, you hideous bug-eyed freak! NEVER!!" Mum has not moved.

Panel 7: More shouting: "You can contain my BODY, but you can't chain my SPIRIT! Walls can't confine it! Laws can't restrain it! You can try to leave a message, but my spirit screens its calls!!" Mum is staring blankly ahead

Panel 8: Enormous block letters fill the panel — "AAAAAGHHHHHHHHH" — as mum is shocked out of the chair, which tips over backwards.

Panel 9: Outside, mum stands, looking down at Calvin. "What did the Reverend Mother say?" Calvin, striding in: "All history up to this point has been spent preparing the world for my presence."
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demon core vidal @regretagarbo.rip · 10/08/2026
there is NOTHING i do better than missing public transit by seconds
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m @mjjii.com · 03/08/2026
digital art. a cat with eyes wide. blank expression. arrow pointing to cat with “is he goated?” at the end
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Brooke @brooklynmarie.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
A photo of a nutria on a beach and the text: if you are seeing this the curse is lifted. have a good day
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Sridhar Ramesh @radishharmers.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
I'm losing my belief in reality. I only get one life and it went 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 way? That doesn't make any sense.
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ℳatt @matttomic.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
PHOEBE BRIDGERS: and what *I'M* saying is that pre-snap motion has become such a staple of Shanahan Tree coaching schemes that modern defenses have fully adapted by filling any potential leverage gaps ANDY REID: (nodding while eating a big bowl of spaghetti)
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Ahhhhh @nerdjpg.com · 23/06/2026
Idk what’s going on with my head but if it could stop hurting that would be great
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francis @dilfkink.kindboys.online · 24/05/2026
it's literally so embarrassing to be a guy that has theories
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mayagerard0 @mayagerard0.bsky.social · 18/05/2026
I have set up my emacs config so that I get a random clippy fortune, so this is literally me
A screenshot of an emacs buffer. Ascii art of Clippy with a text bubble in which he asks “are you a turtle ?”
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Zoe TunnHELL ➡️ NYCC @zoewithasword.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
I am ALWAYS saying this
A warning to the humans who desecration the dinosaurThe dinosaurs are sacred.HEAR THE VOICE OF THE DINOSAUR.
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POKEY THE PENGUIN @pokeythepenguin.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
IT IS VERY INFORMATIVE!!!
IT IS A CHART FEAT. POKEY!!!
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Natania Barron ~ Fantasy Author @natania.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
Appropriate since snakes do not have arms.
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𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝕸𝖆𝖍𝖑𝖊𝖗 @heathermahler.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
My besties checking in on me.
Kermit the Frog peeking into the trashcan Oscar the Grouch lives in.
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Siobhan Thompson @vornietom.bsky.social · 24/03/2026
Drank a cold brew to get some work done but unfortunately I ascended to a higher plane too quickly and now I’m just looking down on you bitches
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the most typical @jazzpomegranate.com · 16/03/2026
people with biases and organizations composed of people with biases can act in bigoted ways, but there nothing inherent to the idea that private property should be abolished that says you have to resent black people or distrust jews or be weird about trannies like how it works with right-wing ideas.
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JP @jpbrammer.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
holy shit I found this on the street
A cocktail shaker that is also a penguin in a bow tie very dapper
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🐺Cold🪦Sam🪾 @pdfmerchant.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
everyone is fighting a battle you can't see because you are the only one without cool invisible wizard powers
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Olúfẹ́mi O. Táíwò @olufemiotaiwo.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
smiling Liz Lemon from 30 Rock with caption: "In a country ruled by an autocracy, with a completely enslaved press, in a period of desperate political reaction in which even the tiniest outgrowth of political discontent and protest is persecuted, the theory of revolutionary Marxism suddenly forced its way into the censored literature before the government realised what had happened"
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𝔓𝔞𝔱𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔨 (𝔥𝔢/𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔶) ☘️🏳️‍🌈 @patmch51.bsky.social · 15/02/2026
Hey, it makes a lot of sense that you would be worried about icebergs on this vessel's maiden voyage — I get it. I just double-checked the charts and this route is definitely iceberg free. But even if it wasn't, remember that the Titanic isn't just a boat; it's a modern, unsinkable cruise ship.
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Mary Gillis @marygillis.bsky.social · 13/02/2026
How dare they presume to know what would dazzle a penguin.
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puuuumpkin lemma @evpok.love · 05/02/2026
my controversial opinion is that food prep at the household level is terribly inefficient and wasteful and that food production and consumption should almost always be a collective activity
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Sridhar Ramesh @radishharmers.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
Look, I'm doing my best. Or maybe I'm not. Well, alright, 70% of my best is the best I'm capable of. I'm doing my best to do my best.
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corpse @consume.red · 13/01/2026
THE WORLD

I thought that you were an anchor in the drift of the world; but no: there isn't an anchor anywhere.
There isn't an anchor in the drift of the world. Oh no.
I thought you were. Oh no. The drift of the world.
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WinRAR Earle @tommchenry.bsky.social · 04/01/2026
2-minute comic
Drawing of the artist in a sweater at a desk, scowling at an empty sketchbook page. TEXT: “Maybe the REAL problem is I don’t have the right system of little notebooks…”
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Tobias Wilson-Bates @phdhurtbrain.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
Always worth a post
i am running into a new year
By Lucille Clifton

i am running into a new year
and the old years blow back
like a wind
that i catch in my hair
like strong fingers like
all my old promises and
it will be hard to let go
of what i said to myself
about myself
when i was sixteen and
twenty-six and thirty-six
even thirty-six but
i am running into a new year
and i beg what i love and
i leave to forgive me
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Ash @h1twom4n.bsky.social · 28/12/2025
Sorry it had to come to this but
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David Bather Woods @davidbatherwoods.bsky.social · 13/06/2025
As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a feature not a bug.
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Bony 🦴 Skeletino 💀 @notalegalrecord.net · 09/12/2025
i mean, we have learned (Gödel, Church, Turing, et al) that we cannot—hard *cannot*—automate the process of proving *mathematical* truths. general knowledge? forget it
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king's co-op boo store 👻 @kingsbookstore.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
me, begging, tears in my eyes: please. please just tell me what the book is about. the plot. please 

a book annotation on the cover, unfazed: A Subversive Masterpiece. A Deep And Touching Story. The New York Times Bestseller. Go Fuck Yourself
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Tea @einies.bsky.social · 28/11/2025
Death Cube for Cutie
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jenny tightpants @jtp.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
"adversarial poetry" technology is so fucking stupid now. hacking into the mainframe like DnD bard
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lastpositivist.bsky.social @lastpositivist.bsky.social · 20/11/2025
What if we recreated early hominid history together at the neutral meeting point in the sacred glade? 🥺 👉👈
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kim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
football’s all like gimme that coconut i want it it’s beautiful but tennis is all like fuck this stupid lemon i hate it
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mayagerard0 @mayagerard0.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
Sexy Old Prussian. I guess I could go as Frederick the Great or something
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Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
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👁🌻🦊⚙️⚓ Bob, Engineer, Pusher of Paper @navmecheng.bsky.social · 11/10/2025
> It is 2025 BC. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis > It is 2025 AD. I am a soldier from one of the outlying provinces called to defend the pyramid in Memphis
Soldiers at the Bass Pro Shops pyramid in Memphis, TN.
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Daniel Litt @littmath.bsky.social · 14/09/2025
it’s time for universities to return to their core mission (an escalating series of pranks played by a trouble-making fraternity on the straight-edge dean who will stop at nothing to shut them down)
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maisie @maisie.dog · 28/08/2025
if theres one thing you ever take away from me
pigeon with a piece of paper that says "be nice to pigeons"
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Matthewせいじ @matthewseiji.com · 14/08/2025
It’s 2050 and a teen girl is torrenting a .tar.gz file of all the consciousnesses of all the tech bros who uploaded themselves into the cloud in a bid for immortality and modding them into The Sims 4
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POKEY THE PENGUIN @pokeythepenguin.bsky.social · 11/08/2025
POKEY AND THE LITTLE GIRL STAND ATOP THE ICE!!  POKEY GREETS THE LITTLE GIRL THUSLY:  HELLO THERE SMALL CHILD!!!

HE ASKS:  DID YOU HEAR THE NEWS ABOUT THE RICH MAN??

HE CONTINUES:  HE'S DEAD!!!

THEY CONTINUE TO ENJOY A PLEASANT DAY UNDER THE SHINING SUN WHILE THERE IS A NICE SONG PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND!!
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mayagerard0 @mayagerard0.bsky.social · 02/07/2025
I’ll buy into the AI hype once my phone can find the eraserhead baby drawing I saved like a year ago
A screenshot from an iphone’s photo app.On the search bar the term: Eraserhead baby. No results found
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a cracked wooden man @woodenman.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
No sé muy bien cómo procesar que esto ocurra día sí día también.
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mayagerard0 @mayagerard0.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
And I looked, and behold, a pale horse! And its rider was the barber who shaves all who do not shave themselves
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Ed Zitron @edzitron.com · 21/04/2024
Ah man just saw the duolingo owl go into the turbine of a plane
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mayagerard0 @mayagerard0.bsky.social · 18/06/2025
We're the universe trying to understand itself: cliched, tired. Evo-psych guys are evolution trying to misunderstand itself as badly as possible: novel, fresh.
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