Sign in

Kris

@keswes.bsky.social
352 followers 1.8K following 14 posts

I-L-L

PostsRepliesMedia
Reposted by Kris
derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
This is true. In 2016, I got into an argument with a gay man on a menswear forum. I've since made it my mission to make every man dress gay, thereby destroying his ability to tell who is actually gay and, ultimately, his chances of finding love. I built my social media following to achieve that goal
Someone on Twitter writes to me: "People should follow your advise if they want to look gay."
334154241291
Reposted by Kris
Steven (with a PH) @sjksalisbury.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Christening a baby is nothing like christening a ship. I know that now. Once again I can only apologise.
161191503870
Reposted by Kris
Nanjala @nanjala.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Every major news outlet was scooped on the biggest sports story in the US this year by a podcaster, not because they don’t have the resources but because they all primarily do access journalism and boosterism instead of actual reporting.
803292577
Reposted by Kris
The Liberal BoJack @thelibbojack.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
More cops have been arrested for using flock cameras to stalk women than there are transgender athletes in youth sports.
136159404676
Reposted by Kris
Andy Hemming @andyhemming.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
me & my friends would’ve killed ET with hammers, I can tell you that much
550024
Reposted by Kris
Stan Dalone @standalone.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
7153868
Reposted by Kris
Jill Twiss @jilltwiss.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
Ok step one is to make them look less delicious
WIRECUTTER
Microplastics Are
Everywhere. Here's How to Avoid Eating Them.
168126861614
Reposted by Kris
Hoop Informatics @hoopinformatics.com · 29/03/2026
Illinois ––> Final Four
David Mirkovic overcome with emotions after his Illinois team advances to the final four
2304
Reposted by Kris
Madeline Sophia Luther 🇨🇦🇺🇦🇬🇱🇳🇴 @vinminen.bsky.social · 25/03/2026
Twitter thread: 
Quoted post: They're playing Buffy at the Lesbian bar. 
QT: They're cleaning teeth at the dental office.
4071961352
Reposted by Kris
derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
me paying $30 in gas to buy imported things that have been hit with tariffs bc joe rogan is learning about politics at age 58
442394936953
Reposted by Kris
The Card @thecard.bsky.social · 04/03/2026
In the extended cut of that burger-tasting video, the McDonald’s CEO’s mom can be heard remarking, “Three more bites. REAL bites.”
1173
Reposted by Kris
William Stone @itswilliamstone.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
It’s actually FEWER Misérables
525091987
Reposted by Kris
Jordan Uhl @jordanuhl.com · 18/02/2026
We’ve come full circle
323665768
Reposted by Kris
A.R. Moxon @juliusgoat.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
I am introducing the Cut It Out And This Time I Really Mean It bill. It provides an additional $57 billion to the murder goons but they will agree to wear business casual Monday through Thursday and if they do any murders they have to put a dollar in this jar.
7768961635
Reposted by Kris
Chad Loder @chadloder.dev · 11/01/2026
Hey we heard you have executive dysfunction so we created a giant bureaucratic maze and we're gonna put your executive dysfunction meds at the end of it. maybe.
292308522
Reposted by Kris
Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt.bsky.social · 23/12/2025
I mean yeah it’s an authoritarian takeover but can we take some comfort in the fact that the people doing it are INSANELY stupid?
1115255227199
Reposted by Kris
Pookleblinky @pookleblinky.bsky.social · 12/12/2025
Sam Altman: hey I made a machine that stole literally all your stuff in order to make CSAM of your child actors, sometimes it encourages people to kill themselves Disney: Holy shit here's a billion dollars Altman: the machine loses more than that each week but thank you. Soon it will become god.
10102732786
Reposted by Kris
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 08/12/2025
The fuck is a jingle horse
85882141
Reposted by Kris
Laura Bassett @lebassett.bsky.social · 08/12/2025
Texts from my mom
3995467
Reposted by Kris
Ian @woolie.meowmeow.city · 05/12/2025
Putting the "website down detector" on Cloudflare is roughly equivalent to putting the diesel backup generators in an easily flooded basement.
1139636
Reposted by Kris
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 26/11/2025
i would have the Marine Corps hold Steven Spielberg's family hostage until he did a two season miniseries of book accurate adaptations of Jurassic Park and The Lost World
4578829
Reposted by Kris
Trainwiz @trainwiz.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
www.nexusmods.com/morrowind/mo... I made a mod that replaces cliffracers with Thomas the Tank Engine. I am incapable of learning lessons whenever it involves corporations, because I fundamentally do not view toy company CEOs or media CEOs as people. #morrowind #thomasthetankengine
6831081056
Reposted by Kris
Emma™ @cockremover.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
9/11 conspiracy theorist who thinks it happened in a different city
3642034
Reposted by Kris
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
one thing we need to do as a society is treat all fraud or theft over $100 million or so as a potential capital crime, with the possibility of execution for offenders.
992510295
Reposted by Kris
Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
skinwalker ranch dressing
68417
Reposted by Kris
derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 09/11/2025
50 year mortgage is so crazy. to put it in perspective, 2016 was 50 years ago
20410302745
Reposted by Kris
Patrick Monahan @pattymo.com · 07/11/2025
Gotta say, I’m not so confident that you do
Hand written sign at shop reading

“WE HAVE”

“CHICKEN”
“NOODLE”
“SOUP”
239120921709
Reposted by Kris
kate bush’s husband @airbagged.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
A perfect video to post today
282943819
Reposted by Kris
derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
you think it's "gay" to be associated with anything left of center ... *opens manilla envelope* ... and yet, on jan 21, 2025 ... *slides 8x10 photo across table* ... you wore the tutti frutti
CIAsandman on Twitter writes: "Leftist friend got called “fuckin lib” by a foid at a bar last night. Their cultural grip is slipping. It’s cringe and gay to even be associated with anything left of center."On January 21, 2025, CIAsandman tweets: "White boy fuel." There's a photo showing him holding a half-eaten piece of bread a bottle of water. On his wrist is a white Swatch watch. An eBay auction for the Swatch says: 1996 Vintage Swatch Watch TUTTI FRUTTI GW109 Working Swatch Watches WomenA detective looks down at a suspect while a light is shining above the suspect's head.
284118751151
Reposted by Kris
Comfortably Boo @numb.comfortab.ly · 19/10/2025
@nytimes.com @washingtonpost.com @cnn.com are you going to write about the president of the United States posting a clip of himself literally dumping shit on Americans, or is it nbd?
583205776
Reposted by Kris
Brendan O’Kane @bokane.org · 17/10/2025
You're absolutely right — starting a land war in Asia wasn't just a bad call, it's 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗰 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀. Thank you for calling me out on that — really. I'll be extra-strategic from now on. Would you like me to get cracking on those 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗻 𝗠𝗼𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿?
8475531653
Reposted by Kris
more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 15/10/2025
oh AI chatbots are useless? bro i'm literally having cybersex with walmart
213917
Reposted by Kris
onion person @junlper.beer · 12/10/2025
20296881278
Reposted by Kris
John @localcelebrity.bsky.social · 12/10/2025
Modest reform idea: Ban police from carrying personal mobile devices while on-duty. Give them work devices and lock them down with MDM tools like a Fortune 500 corporation would lock down their employee devices. Monitor all of the traffic. Ban them from installing unapproved apps.
2242477
Reposted by Kris
Classical Studies Memes for Hellenistic Teens @csmfht.bsky.social · 10/10/2025
74120472505
Reposted by Kris
Gurt Sherm @gurtsherm.bsky.social · 08/10/2025
51268206
Reposted by Kris
Chanda Prescod-Weinstein 🌌 @chanda.blacksky.app · 30/09/2025
THEY CLOSED PUBLIC POOLS RATHER THAN SWIM WITH BLACK PEOPLE YOU ARE DEALING WITH THE SAME GROUP OF PEOPLE AS THE FOLKS WHO DID THIS PLEASE WAKE THE FUCK UP
343246136095
Reposted by Kris
Chris Kluwe, adjudicated poaster @chriswarcraft.bsky.social · 30/09/2025
The revolution won’t be televised but the treason sure is
127133462830
Reposted by Kris
alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 29/09/2025
how do i cancel my subscription to US Government
36845108
Reposted by Kris
bort @crushbort.bsky.social · 28/09/2025
fifty years after the second nuremberg trials there are gonna be kids going into their grandfathers basement and finding these in carefully hidden display cases
under armour flag shirt
93531498
Reposted by Kris
William Gibson @greatdismal.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
4491122058
Reposted by Kris
(spoo)key @lefttwix.com · 24/09/2025
why is it pronounced hors do’urves and not whores dwarves
2923551
Reposted by Kris
Governor JB Pritzker @govpritzker.illinois.gov · 18/09/2025
👀
FCC Chair Carr’s post from 12/30/23:

Free speech is the counterweight—it is the check on government control. That is why censorship is the authoritarian’s dream.
842309898062
Reposted by Kris
Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans) @iwriteok.bsky.social · 17/09/2025
ban social media, put heroin in the water supply
822021209
Reposted by Kris
Michael @fleerultra.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining
270300387066
Reposted by Kris
Phil Lewis @phillewis.bsky.social · 15/09/2025
"I just want to say, go birds, fuck ICE and free Palestine," "Hacks" star Hannah Einbinder at the #Emmys
6385120710895