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🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️

@jollyrobber.bsky.social
5.8K followers 1.3K following 4.2K posts

Thoughts from the dark side of a married man. It is what it is and I ain't shit. (Not) New & (Certainly Not) Improved bsky.app/profile/jollyrobber.bsky.social/search My Musings tinyurl.com/2p9ruj7u Best? Of tinyurl.com/mry4284p

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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Bluesky: Hide reposts in feeds Farm animals: dafuq is this shit?
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
What do you get when you cross a prehistoric tiger with a snake? A saber-rattler.
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Every dating scenario I have ever had: One date and done Three dates and done One month and done 6+ month relationship 29 year marriage
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🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I also thought this magnificent shower was somehow involved.
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Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
It only takes one job offer, which is good considering my 1.5% applications leading to interviews rate.
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Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Sharpened the wrong side of my cutlery, now my knife has been turned upside down.
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Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
That makes two of us
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Eric Replatformed @21stcenturyeric.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
At 56 my super power is waking up feeling hung over after a big night of doing no drinking whatsoever.
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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Me: Hey gas tank, check out the prices on this pump. Gas tank:
A gas tank opening that resembles a shocked face.
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John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Some church people knocked on my door and said they wanted to tell me about the afterlife. I told them I’m trying to avoid any spoilers.
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
On this 66th anniversary of The Flintstones, I'm thinking if Olivia Rodrigo did a guest appearance, they'd name her Olivia Rockrigo. The more you know.
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🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️ @jollyrobber.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Sometimes bunts
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Some primitive cultures sacrifice virgins while those worshipping baseball sacrifice flies.
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I'm reading the millennial version of the Charles Dickens classic, Lowered Expectations.
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
In order to become a shape shifter, you need a degree from reform school.
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I've been invited to a Shakespeare-themed Halloween party but I can't decide whether to be or not to be Hamlet.
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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Hang around dumb people long enough, they'll make you dumb. Hang around smart people long enough, they'll make you feel dumb.
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I know it's been a long time since I've seen January Jones in anything since she now goes by the name October Jones.
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I'm on board with taking back our country but only the part of it that hasn't been ruined.
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
flame grilled dreams and expectations
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Mr Burns as King Herod, wearing a crown and sitting on a throne
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
thanks but if i need advice i will google it to find the relevant information likely contained in a reddit thread that i will then screenshot forget to read and delete in the not too distant future
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
me: look, i'm not saying that it was you specifically but someone has to answer for the exaggeration of your abilities i mean you don't always heal all wounds or ease the pain sometimes you just drive home the fact that what's causing the pain is a very real and insurmountable fact of life time:
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Bart, Martin and Milhouse gathered around a destroyed comic book
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
silence reverberating in a mind devoid of thoughts
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Cosmic Clau @cosmicclau.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
ok so i'm not walking away from the tv again
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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Too bad that I didn’t live during the time of the Ottoman Empire, since I’m a huge fan of padded furniture used as a footrest.
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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I realize that I’m a cynical skeptic when I see the term ‘cowboy chili’ and can’t overcome the suspicion that this is a euphemism for something really nasty.
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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Well played Mother Nature. At a time when I’d normally be playing a game of chicken with turning on the heat you’ve made me break down and turn on the air conditioner.
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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Nothing validates my self worth more than being blocked by a total stranger who I’ve had no interactions with.
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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I never understood how the experience of living through the Great Depression influenced so many decisions of my parent’s generation. But then I go through just one global pandemic and suddenly I’ve got an entire room in my garage devoted to paper towels and toilet paper.
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Groceries @crisiscake.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Frankenstein: you get that boy made of corpses? also Frankenstein: sure did boss, real fuckin sexy, just like you asked. still Frankenstein: what
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Groceries @crisiscake.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
the weather is sepia, it's sepia out
unfiltered photo of a tree in the neighbours' yard. the sky is hazy yellow & everything looks old timey & washed out, like bad sunglasses
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Hollywood Hill @hollywood-hill.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I brought a t-shirt cannon to a job interview
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Hollywood Hill @hollywood-hill.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The pumpkin spice is stored in the everything
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Hollywood Hill @hollywood-hill.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Okay, this key lime pie. Just how key is the lime? We talking high? Low?
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Hollywood Hill @hollywood-hill.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Don’t bring an iced coffee to a job fight. Got it.
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Hollywood Hill @hollywood-hill.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Nothing like a *checks notes* heat wave… in *checks notes again* October. Yay!
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Hollywood Hill @hollywood-hill.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
October? In this heat?
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Strughoulo @struggalo.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Flared leg cargo shorts.
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Strughoulo @struggalo.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
The Farts Of Life
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Strughoulo @struggalo.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My GPA was too low for Clown College.
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Strughoulo @struggalo.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Fox in socks in crocs.
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Strughoulo @struggalo.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Two things I can't handle in a conversation are subtlety and directness.
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Strughoulo @struggalo.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Talk about the failures of capitalism and chill?
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Strughoulo @struggalo.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I had to sacrifice a lot to become high priest.
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James Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I just got my shirt back from dry cleaning,.and it won't stop telling bad jokes. Did they use corn-y starch by mistake?
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Reposted by 🏴‍☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴‍☠️
James Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Remember, when approached by a angry elephant holding a nut cracker, don't crack jokes about his trunk. The good news is the doctors can give me a nose, but the bad news is I have two choices: clown or Hello Kitty.
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James Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
A farmer once put a gown on a donkey, and asked me, "Hey, does this dress make my ass look fat?"
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