iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 18h

Ruin a book by adding a word The Telltale Heart Emoji

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 18h

What kind of relationship is it where you’re together forever but only want to hang out once or twice a week?

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Devi 🦇 @deviwestside.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

God forbid a woman wants to be adored, flirted with, kissed stupid, and choked a little

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

All the best people are at least a little bit fucked up.

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Raysident Evil @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 14/02/2025

(returning to the break room for a third donut) oh, did someone bring donuts?

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Laura Bassett @lebassett.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

“If you don’t like public executions just don’t watch it” says the crowd trying to ban drag shows and books

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Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️ @steamymac.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

Good fences make good neighbours but sluts and whores make even better neighbours.

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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I earned the cork on my fork

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Charlie Alzamora @chalza.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I watched a two-hour Hallmark Christmas movie but it felt more like a Lifetime.

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Braden Serkas 🎃 @portmanteauface.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

All I’m saying is before the internet existed every bar had a cigarette vending machine and everybody had sex all the time

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

What really sucks is the states are the leaders of AI, the administration is full of idiots and angry pieces of shit and they’re going to put it in their military without having the slightest clue what could happen

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Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

I don’t wanna be an alpha. Bitch I’m tryna frolic

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Skinnie Talls @skinnietalls.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

well well well if it isn’t what goes around coming around

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

ME: *rings neighbor’s doorbell* I think I ran over your cat. NEIGHBOR: Oh no! What did the cat look like? ME: *makes surprised face*

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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Me: [depressed] Dog: [drops ball in my lap] Hey, throw this for me Me: Ok Dog: [fetches ball] HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AWESOME DO IT AGAIN Me: [feels much better]

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

To all the guys who message my gf that they can treat her better than me, just know she is perfectly happy already because she has VERY low standards

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 16/03/2026

If I’m reading an ‘article’ online, I close it the instant I get to a spelling mistake.

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

New Canadian measuring standard just dropped

Headline: Carbon price would cost Alberta oilsands a Timbit per barrel: climate group

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 01/03/2026

Ummm excuse me good sir, but WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK are you doing with mixing human brains with tech and teaching them to kill?

Human brain cells on a chip learned to play Doom in a week

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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 24/02/2026

What is the difference between these two photos? (trick question they’re the same photo)

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 25/02/2026

When is Easter? I’m almost out of discount chocolate I stocked up on on Feb 15th

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

The Gen X urge to taunt you a second time

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

If you see this, quote post with your sexiest selfie

Picture of me from 40 years ago in my very early teens

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

I’m glad Prime video is giving the newer generations the thrill of quiet tv shows with thunderously loud sudden commercials breaking their bass speakers.

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Boobsy Snickerdoodle @chloethesiren.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

My pussy totally gets wet enough so if I ask you to spit on it, it is just for the disrespect

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The Pale Space Rider? @truegritrumble.bsky.social · 28/10/2024

me: can i borrow your car? friend: you already borrowed my car me: *nervously* can I borrow another one?

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Jim @jimstewart.bsky.social · 24/08/2025

Whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you're happy.

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Boobsy Snickerdoodle @chloethesiren.bsky.social · 08/02/2026

I showed my tweets to my mom. She scrolled through like 45 blowjob tweets and didn’t blink. Then she got to one about licking a guy’s butt and she said, “Did you have to make it nasty?”

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

No new pictures, where are you mentally

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 03/02/2026

Me: by emotionally stable, does being numb count? Friends: No Me: shit

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 03/02/2026

Men will read this and then say “Fine. I’ll shower.”

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Rob (the floor one) @floorisbed.bsky.social · 31/01/2026

hello yes i would like a shitty person to experience a consequence? idk man fucking any of them surprise me yes i'll hold

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Helen @helenmaryme.bsky.social · 24/12/2025

Me to my friends: Shh, look over there. Don't make it obvious. My friends:

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 25/01/2026

I have some good news. The Muppet Show is coming back. Well, it’s good news to ME

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 05/01/2025

Her: Can I call you “Daddy”? Me: Well, we ARE at Olive Garden

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 28/03/2025

If you put mozzarella in the fondue you can turn your dinner party into a spiderweb of deliciousness

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

It’s the unexpected joys you find when you live alone. Like never holding in your farts. Ever. Pure. Joy.

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 21/01/2026

You know how some women get upset when you get them flowers because they think you did something wrong? My body is like that when I eat something healthy

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slop enjoyer @slop.guru · 20/01/2026

(calling 911) so i already brushed my teeth but i want a little snack should i do it

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CynicalTherapist @cynicaltherapist.bsky.social · 19/01/2026

When I say 'the house always wins', I'm not referring to gambling, I'm referring to my plans for the weekend.

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Reposted by Matt 🇨🇦🍁

sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 17/01/2026

my dogs simply adore your posts but i’m afraid my cat finds them derivative

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Matt 🇨🇦🍁 @jedistark.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

“Bold strategy Cotton, let’s see if it works out for ‘em”

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