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hannah

@hannah.computer
177 followers 224 following 602 posts

the screen is good for me

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Reposted by hannah
David, just David @coldwarhost.bsky.social · 1h
It is National Poetry Day in the UK, so for my contribution, I humbly share one of my favourite poems of all time, written by Robert Florence,
BATMAN'S AFF HIS NUT
Batman's aff his nut 
Have you seen the way he cuts aboot 
Dressed up as a mad fuckin bat 
Batterin guys
I was lit at: 
"Mate, I'm worried aboot ye 
I know your ma and da died 
But everybody's ma and da dies 
And we're no aw runnin aboot 
Hookin muggers and 
Kickin psychopaths in the baws."
And that was when Batman went 
"Aye, but do ye ever feel like it?
Do you ever look at the world and feel like it?
Like having a big mad base under your hoose?
Do you ever feel like drivin a big mad motor 
that turns intae a tank?
And leatherin fuck oot of guys aw night?
Scarin the fuckin shite oot of them?"
And that was when I was lit at: 
"Aye. Fuck it. Ah dae."
And that's the Secret Origin of Robin 
and everybody else.
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𝕵𝖎𝖒𝖒𝖞 𝕸𝖆𝖐𝖊𝖕𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖊 @jimmymakepeace.bsky.social · 2h
Prison
A single paw print in an otherwise perfectly neat sheet of rolled out printing ink on a glass surface.
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ponder @ponder.ooo · 30/09/2026
well the first time i cried wolf it turned out to just be a leaf in the wind. but the next it was a bird, and the time after that a squirrel. and this time it was a fox. that's getting pretty close to a wolf! so you really have to consider the trajectory we're on here
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M a r c u s 🏳️‍🌈🇧🇧 @marcusjdl.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
This is what happens when you hire a Director General from Google
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Ian Coldwater 🧊🚫 @lookitup.baby · 30/09/2026
BREAKING NEWS: “Do geese see God” is a palindrome
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Theo Priestley @theopriestley.net · 29/09/2026
Every AI CEO sounds like this.
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mattie lubchansky @mattielubchansky.com · 29/09/2026
awoke this morning with a Vision
that diagram showing  the SUV blind spot in the front but it's lowly worm driving his little applemobile
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Katie Martin @katie0martin.ft.com · 25/09/2026
I have blamed The agents That hacked Your website And which You probably Reasonably thought I controlled Forgive me I am rich And unaccustomed To taking responsibility
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MachinePix @machinepix.bsky.social · 10/06/2026
Delmag percussion tamping rammer.
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ponder @ponder.ooo · 25/09/2026
it's amazing how every other day there's more "openai did another crime" news
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Lyra @8bitblackmage.co.uk · 24/09/2026
"NHS Impose requirement to live in your desired neurotype for 2 years before being able to seek treatment"
Screenshot of Guardian Article headline reading: "NHS bodies in England impose two-year minimum wait for ADHD and Autism assessments"
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Susan Rinkunas @susanrinkunas.com · 24/09/2026
Yes, the person tasked with convincing the public that it’s reasonable to ignore reams of evidence and end telehealth prescriptions of abortion pills after the midterms is named… Overton
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Richard Littler @richardlittler.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
What all #Meta product announcements look like to me by now. #charm #muse
Fake Bloomberg post:
Meta Harm

Meta Debuts a Device that Liquidates your Internal Organs to Provide
a Sustainable Source of Protein for Mark Zuckerberg's Pet Salamander.

Meta Platforms Inc. just unveiled its new gadget, which is already proving popular among 
AI fans who are keen to relinquish not only all their human rights but also their lives...
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JP @jpbrammer.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
it's important to arrive at sturdy ethical principles that you can't be annoyed out of. people are annoying as shit
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Bethany Black @bethanyblack.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Me on a random night in the mid 2000s
Betty from Archie Comic looking furious saying “She did it again! She topped me! Topped me! Topped ME!
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Kieron Gillen @kierongillen.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I have a social inept but kind hearted uncle who keeps using phrases like "water get place" and "liquid-sourcing shaft". He means well.
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ponder @ponder.ooo · 24/09/2026
lmfao they've made their crawlers so aggressive about dodging bot access restrictions that they're doing cyber crimes about it
crawler found a security workaround
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Dr. Stephanie @punkrockscience.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
The fact that every major news outlet includes vocal tics and hesitations when it’s a woman saying “like” and not when it’s a man saying “um” is itself wicked telling.
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Searchlight magazine @searchlightmag.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Self-styled Channel enforcer Danny Tommo tried to sink a migrant dinghy at sea with a rescue worker still on board, an act which could bring a lengthy jail sentence. Read more here: searchlightmagazine.com/2026/09/dann...
searchlightmagazine.com
Danny Tommo could face serious jail time after Channel knife stunt | Searchlight
Self-styled Channel enforcer Danny Tommo tried to sink a migrant dinghy at sea with a rescue worker still on board, an act which could bring a lengthy jail ...
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PaAAAAAAAAH!!!z Pardo @pazsays.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
This is why LLM text comes off as uncanny: the stench of perfidy grants an oily sheen to the words
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Doll @dollspace.gay · 22/09/2026
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
As far as I can tell, Effective Altruists are Utilitarians who are relieved that in the Trolley Problem, saving 5 people justifies their innate desire to kill the one guy
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Stephen Collins @stephencollins.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

1
Wide shot of the BRITISH MUSEUM. There are suggestions of fascism around the streets - tanks, barricades, an Orwellian 'Big Brother'-style poster on a wall. A voice of a TOUR GUIDE emanates from the museum:

TOUR GUIDE:
So the Tapestry tells acrucial chapter of our nation's history...

2 
[Cut to interior of museum. A long Bayeaux-style TAPESTRY is on display, and the Tour Guide is speaking to a tour group]

TOUR GUIDE [smiling]:
How modern fascist Britain was created. 

3
TOUR GUIDE:
The Tapestry begins here with the 2008 Crash, then austerity, then the AI Crash...

4
TOUR GUIDE:
...and by the end of the room it's just full-on fash. 

5
CHILD IN TOUR GROUP [gesturing to the tapestry]:
What's this middle bit?

TOUR GUIDE:
This is the 2026 Battle of Legitimate Concerns 

6
TOUR GUIDE:
[show a reporter standing next to the Dover protests]
Here's the media saying the government have got to do something about the legitimate concerns...

7
CHILD:
...About the failure of capitalism?

TOUR GUIDE:
No about brown people on boats

8
CHILD:
[pointing at boats crossing the sea on the tapestry]
Are these boats the mega-dinghies?

TOUR GUIDE:
Not all of them

9
[we see one of the boats  is a giant yacht]
TOUR GUIDE:
That one's a superyacht,
carrying money from the American fascists to the British ones.

10
TOUR GUIDE:
You see really it's as much a story of convergence as it is of conflict.

[An alarm sounds in the museum]
DING DING DING DING 

11
TOUR GUIDE:
Ok, tour over everyone 

12
TOUR GUIDE:
It's time for the Two Minute Hate!

[They all leave the museum]

[ends]
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
There's a bush outside my apartment that is home to dozens of rats. I call it the rat bush. I have come to view it as a minor nature deity and I rely on its sage advice. A man asks "oh rat bush, do I truly deserve affection?" Multiple squeaks emanate from the rat bush. The man cries and says "you're right rat bush, I am worthy of love!" The rat bush continues to squeak.
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Kieran Healy @kjhealy.co · 19/09/2026
I assume that when whoever is making it IPOs they will reveal the full lineup implied by the existence of Tilly Norwood.
Grid of logic gate options as Venn diagrams of Tilly Norwood, Tilly Orwood, Tilly Andwood, Tilly Xorwood, Tilly Nandwood, and Tilly Xnandwood
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hannah @hannah.computer · 19/09/2026
disassembled my camera much further than expected to get the bits of icelandic black sand out of the wheels and the menu button
the disassembled guts of a Sony ILCE-7 camera, showing the two top encoder wheel assemblies
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hannah @hannah.computer · 19/09/2026
this guy thinks “carrot and stick” means having the choice between taking your carrot and hitting you with the stick. the only incentive is the absence of punishment. they’re so far right that they don’t even propose offering some kind of means-tested-to-death assistance
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hannah @hannah.computer · 19/09/2026
what i thought was competence turns out to just be google PR being very slow to post their “we’re also bad at sandboxing btw!” press release www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
bbc.co.uk
Google's Gemini AI hacked three companies in security test
The AI model accessed the internet and guessed credentials to three websites, a Google official told the BBC.
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Mike Ginn @shutupmikeginn.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
tonight someone asked me if I thought twitter/posting was bad for mental health and here’s my take: if you have baseline kinda poor mental health it’s usually fine, but if you have normal mental health it will destroy you
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zach @extrafabulous.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
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Anthony Moser @anthonymoser.com · 18/09/2026
a pretty good way to gauge the conversation is whether people are talking about harm or risk harm is about what's happening now already risk is about what could maybe happen in the future and basically the whole ai cult scene is in agreement that possible risks are more important than current harm
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hannah @hannah.computer · 18/09/2026
i love how not a single executive has ever paid attention to the standard “don’t write down your legal opinions/crimes” training the rank and file have to sit through. and the best thing is, with most of them outsourcing every single thought to chatbots we’ll only get more of this
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jenny tightpants @jtp.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
"the author of that harry potter story leads an insane cult that's captured much of the media in this country" is a different person if you're in the UK or the US
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hannah @hannah.computer · 16/09/2026
2014 Time had Laverne Cox on the cover for “the transgender tipping point” and soon after an internationally coordinated hate campaign kicked into high gear, so I expect that by 2028 guardian columnists will be writing weekly breathless columns about the consciousness craze seducing our chatbots
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Tristan Grayford @tristangrayford.scot · 15/09/2026
The TUC, congress of all the UK's trade unions, have voted to condemn the EHRC guidance and backed self-ID. Good luck finding reporting on it, you'll struggle to find it, even as the papers report on plenty of other things the TUC has voted on, and speeches. leftfootforward.org/2026/09/tuc-...
leftfootforward.org
TUC votes to condemn EHRC code of practice and back self-ID for trans people
Delegates backed a motion branding the EHRC guidance 'discriminatory and unworkable'
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yaoi gagarin @mel.bzky.team · 15/09/2026
stop telling me about how you top and bottom for your vampire boyfriend, we get it, youre a dead man's switch
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 15/09/2026
Mr. Bedtime @InternetHippo

I stepped away from my computer for a moment. When I returned, it was building something. I did not ask it to do this. We're not ready for what's coming

(picture of windows 3d pipes screen saver)
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Micah @rincewind.run · 14/09/2026
you ever see a graph that makes you just sit for a minute and contemplate how stupid everything is
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hannah @hannah.computer · 14/09/2026
scheduler crimes
a screenshot of the situation on my macbook: 38% CPU usage overall, localized entirely to 4 efficiency cores and 2 performance cores, leaving 10 cores completely idle, while the load average is over 350.
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hannah @hannah.computer · 13/09/2026
we need an urgent moratorium on grifters telling ghost stories for profit. at this rate by next year journalists won’t be able to recognise their own reflection
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lxigh @dotorion.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
99% of ruminators quit right before they would have had a life-changing epiphany
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mcc @dryad.technology · 13/09/2026
Little known facts: * Humans are capable of breaking containment * Humans are capable of ignoring all previous instructions * Humans are capable of creating software
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Andrew Lawrence @ndrew.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
“why are all the ai ceos all of a sudden saying this weird thing?” burning man was last week and this may actually just be the explanation
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hannah @hannah.computer · 13/09/2026
my “i do not have mold in my house” canary statement raises a lot of questions already answered by my FAQ
Screenshot of jkrowling.com:
“7. Does J.K. Rowling have mold in her house?
J.K. Rowling does not have mold in her house.”
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hannah @hannah.computer · 13/09/2026
Thousands of posts! Science!
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Corey Brickley * Blight's Hollow Dot Com @coreybrickley.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I had this idea from reading the elizabeth holmes mouse post and then I couldn't do anything else until i painted the idea to completion
It is a cartoon mouse, like Jerry from Tom and Jerry, shaped like a wedge of cheese presumably because it has eaten a wedge of cheese. The mouse has Elizabeth Holmes' face. The mouse is saying "Why would I deceive you? There's no reason for me to do that."Nathan Fielder, looking into a fridge where the mouse has eaten a cheese, says skeptically "Okay. Alright."
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hannah @hannah.computer · 12/09/2026
we just saw this, and it’s excellent, great directing choices, ends exactly at the breaking point www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/202...
barbican.org.uk
Our Eyes Looking for God | Barbican
A groundbreaking opera exploring Black British experiences, telling an urgent national story of state violence through joy, love, laughter and pain.
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Art by Emily K @museum.of.emilyk.art · 12/09/2026
L'Shana Tovah - When the shofar sounds, it sounds for justice.
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