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America's Spookiest Dad

@finaldad.bsky.social
4.4K followers 634 following 9K posts

Sole remaining father in all of Wisconsin. Now on the loose kicking the ass of every other dad in America Also former engineer. Now full time shit remover. He/him

PostsRepliesMedia
America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 7h
I'm once again reminded that I can think more clearly than most people while drunk and high
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 14h
It's a perfect lazy Sunday movie
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 16h
"Whomst amongst us hasn't personally butchered a school bus of children or cussed in front of their grandmother?"
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 16h
You're literally being Mr Gotcha from the famous comic
Mr Gotcha comic. A lady looking perplexed as she stares at Mr Gotcha who's pointing at her with finger guns while saying, "...you said on an iPhone. Heh. Gotcha."
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 18h
@fizzbitch.bsky.social
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 21h
Had to fight the on duty cops to fight the off duty cops
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
You're why women don't go to Ladies Night
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
It's bruh time
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
I am a soup of your darkest desires
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Chaxinitus @chaxinitus.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Did you know? Petting water fowl is a known depressant. You'll always end up feeling down.
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Mfer has more hair on his chest than his head, but at least it's better groomed
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
I think the fine people of Limerick, Ireland would be very upset if I showed up, blew up their houses and built a new mansion on the rubble while claiming my family lived there before the Potato Famine
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Museum of Twitter @museum-of-twitter.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
@dhookstead

Did we cancel D-Day because of a little rough weather? No. Play the damn game.

Readers added context

D-Day was delayed by a day because of the weather
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Stan Kelly @kartoonistkelly.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
What the Ale?? @theonion.com
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Calvinball Congress @emericanjezebel.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
ok new test: if you think rape is bad and should never be tolerated, like and repost this. if you think rape is a “complex issue,” just type “not all sexual assault is rape” in the comments.
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Elizabeth DeLoria, Pope of Chili-Town @yourdadloves.me · 03/10/2026
A two panel meme of the Simpsons. The top panel has kirk van houten gesturing to a race care bed. The text reads "im an AI guy. How many local models do YOU run?" The bottom panel is homer with a pope hat photoshopped onto his head. The bottom text reads "I run the catholic church."
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
In Wisconsin, polishing off a 30 pack of beer on your own in a weekend isn't considered a big deal
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
There will never be peace as long as the genocidal, expansionist state of Israel exists
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
May I suggest buying 30-50 videogames during the Steam Autumn sale?
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Ten days till I get full union protection. Just in time for an employee appreciation meal with the head manager. He's going to quickly discover that this was a tactical error.
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
"Senator DaJoker Baby what is your opinion on pumpkins?"
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
As a matter of policy, I find chainswords extremely compelling
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
A classic movie I rented at Blockbuster because my dad wasn't paying attention
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Gawd, I'd retire if I could but that's 20 years away at best
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I know it's spooky season but this is too spooky
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Rep. Mark Pocan @pocan.house.gov · 01/10/2026
Salah Sarsour is a legal resident of the United States, has lived here more than 30 years, and is a pillar of the Milwaukee community. Yet he is being threatened for deportation for no apparent reason other than his advocacy on behalf of Palestinian rights. www.wpr.org/news/salah-s...
wpr.org
Judge rules leader of Wisconsin's largest mosque can be deported
An immigration judge has ruled that the leader of Wisconsin’s largest mosque can be deported, his legal team announced Wednesday.
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It's spooky season mfers! Time to get punny and change those avis! Time to get confused as to who is who for a month!
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Matt the Dad Dude @undefeatedmatt.wifeguy.online · 01/10/2026
Gm, fuck every freak, especially the Catholics, on the Supreme Court.
Gravedigger nearly making this country a more equitable place
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Planning a resupply trip back to Wisconsin for cheap vodka and cheese curds
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Damn, FBI is getting lazy
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The Onion @theonion.com · 30/09/2026
Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum theonion.com/trump-warns-iran-to-ac…
Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum
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hoss @chefhoss.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Standard issue charcuterie board here in Wisconsin, featuring Wisconsin cheeses (Hook's 3yr Cheddar and Sartori's Bellavitano Espresso) as well as summer sausage from Usinger's in Milwaukee. The Belgioioso board ties it together well, not a bad amenity. 🍽️🍜🧀🐖 #food #foodsky #chefslife
Six charcuterie boards with three types of cheese, two cured meats, crackers and fresh fruit.
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I should borrow some CDs from my local library. Just grab something random
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Classically no warriors have had beards, apparently
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Behold the SPACE TOILET!
en.wikipedia.org
Space toilet - Wikipedia
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
If we can invent a toilet that vacuums the shit out, we can invent a toilet that shoves it back in!
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
This was 26 years ago and these grippers are still blaming everything on everybody but the Democratic party or the Supreme Court
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Marianne Martin @mariannemartin.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
"The crystal I'm using to protect my peace this year"
(it's a brick)
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Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Don Draper saying “that’s what the Buzzballz is for!”
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I already knew what four salts they were going to be before seeing the picture. A fine collection of salts!
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Discovered a coworker dumping the last of his instant noodle cup into one these
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𐇔 BeeVine𐇱𐇳 @succulentubus.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
WE SHOULD IMPROVE DEMOCRATS SOMEWHAT.

Yet you are trans. Curious.

Enjoy the camps
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I'm thinking we dunk him in red paint and chuck him into a bullpen. Feels thematically correct
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
LizPoo
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Why do you have John Brown as your avi while you lack all of his passion and morality?
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Being too cool
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Rory Blank @roryblank.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Introducing Gurpo
A drawing of a small blobby figure inside of an enclosure with string coming off it, with text saying "introducing Gurpo, the new wearable personal assistant. Gurpo is not a computer program, he's a real tiny guy who is trapped inside your medallion necklace. 
Gurpo hates you, but is incapable of doing anything about it, and he has to answer your questions or he gets electrocuted. It's non-lethal.
If you shake his enclosure hard enough, gurpo will throw up!"
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
The only thing I share with Trump is falling asleep at work at 2pm
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da da™️ drew @adrew.dadguy.pro · 28/09/2026
dude is cutting ads for talarico
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America's Spookiest Dad @finaldad.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
static.klipy.com
Lizard Laughing
Alt: Lizard Laughing
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