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Chaotic Rants

@chaoticrants.bsky.social
238 followers 168 following 1.3K posts

I am desperately trying to think up something witty to put here.

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Reposted by Chaotic Rants
The Donk @thedonk.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Imagine what this neighborhood looks like - I watched a cage fight on the front lawn of a house that was half demolished, the pool was full of algae, and the renter slept thru it
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Frank Ray Whitehouse (He/Him) @wheeltod.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
I have to send a friend a large quantity of packing peanuts, but I'm terrified they're going to get damaged in the mail.
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Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
There's no welcome mat on my doorstep because I'm not a fucking liar.
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alexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
"god is not nonbinary" ??? um, ever heard of the father, the son, and the holy Ghost? that's like three narys. that's trinary
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
My first impression was likely better than my last impression.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
There's an app for that.
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trick-is-a-treat-kat @trickykat.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
(climbing into bed with phone) oh no, i forgot to brush my bluetooth
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
So it's not just me? Cool!
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MODERN @modern-001.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
I like to post in the night so no one will see and I can be forgotten
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
What if the ketchup is runoff from the hashbrowns that just happened to touch the eggs? Can I still eat the eggs without shame?
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Mrs. Dick Helicopter 💩📺 @hormonella.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
it’s not political if you hate everybody
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Trevon Logan @trevondlogan.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
I’ve followed this story for its absurdity and as an illustration of how police lie and bully the public they are supposed to protect. Only after national media attention do they withdraw a case of accusing a woman of something she can’t possibly have done… cbs12.com/news/local/f...
cbs12.com
Charges dismissed for woman without right hand cited for holding phone while driving
A traffic citation issued to a woman who said she was accused of holding a phone in a hand she does not have has been dismissed.
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Gus & Echo @katskitties.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
We don’t care that human has work to do. Naps take precedence
Echo is sound asleep sprawled across human’s blanket covered lap in the recliner. Gus is asleep between human’s calves
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Forrest Plump @nahyoudoit.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Home is where you know how to work the shower settings
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Careful, Jenn Bites 🧛🏻‍♀️🩷🧛🏻‍♀️ @alldolledup44.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
I cannot stress this enough.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
Always suspected that Power Washer Sim on Steam was a gateway drug.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
You probably act under the false assumption that they would be there for you if you needed help. You'll learn.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
Add food to a movie Halloween III: Season of the Sandwich
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strange ranger @lithiumsucks.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
Oh, wow. That's fucked up. *Hits like and repost.*
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
The pain is real. I have been there. May you get your tasty treat soon.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Don't forget "do not take Tinuviel if you are allergic to Tinuviel" since people have become too stupid to figure it out for themselves.
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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
I like to imagine romantic situations with women wearing religious attire It’s a bad Habit
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Unhinged? I haven't even seen a hinge in years.
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Wilbur72 @wilboo72.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Going to change my name to Grudge At least then there’d be a few people who would want to hold me
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
If ballroom is your issue I suggest switching from briefs to boxers.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Smart!
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Does this make Taco Bell guilty of war crimes? 🔥 🚽
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Path (seasonal)🎉 @demandavoider.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
i shoplift because i know the pope still ain't gonna do shit about it
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
We are doomed. We are truly lost. This is the way.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Did you remember to install the seatbelt on the toilet?
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Mariana Z @mariana057.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
So I said to the waitress: "What’s the duck like?” She said "Like a chicken, but it can swim”.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
youtu.be/4WwJ6OVSwkM?...
youtu.be
AC/DC - Big Balls (Official Audio)
YouTube video by acdcVEVO
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
youtu.be/4WwJ6OVSwkM?...
youtu.be
AC/DC - Big Balls (Official Audio)
YouTube video by acdcVEVO
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
Film you've watched more than six times with a gif.
media.tenor.com
a man and a woman are sitting on a plane and the woman is saying nervous yes first time
ALT: a man and a woman are sitting on a plane and the woman is saying nervous yes first time
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 26/04/2026
A guy starts illegal wars with no fear of consequences and people still think he's afraid of some files? Everyone with the power to do anything about it are in the files too.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Must be nice. I tend to get short changed.
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Brent Toderian @brenttoderian.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
This is important. “More than 100 retired NASA astronauts have banded together to form a new nonpartisan organization…its members “believe deeply in the principles that have propelled our nation for 250 years,” such as the rule of law, checks and balances and the peaceful transition of power.”
scientificamerican.com
Former NASA astronauts launch new group to promote U.S. constitutional values
More than 100 NASA astronauts have signed on to a nonpartisan effort to promote “the principles that have propelled our nation for 250 years”
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Granite Man @granitedhuine.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Don't let them fool you, failure is ALWAYS an option.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
I would never cheapen our relationship with anything so low grade as high fructose corn syrup. Only pure, name brand, cane sugar will do. How do you feel about confectioners sugar?
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Bodega Cats @bodegacats.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
That's the kind of vile shit you take to a pot luck to make sure you are asked to bring anything again. Thanks for the idea!
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TwoSense @twosense.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
(forgetting the word thirsty) I’m horny for some water.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
You can't have the edit button that everyone wants, but look at the stupid picture carousel that nobody asked for.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
What sorry sod would put raisins in potato salad? 🤮
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 24/04/2026
Hear the one about the bloke who fell on his spear gun? He got the point.
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ROCKY MOUNTAIN VIEWS @rockymountviews.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
Panera Bread sent an email to me with the title "Where have you been?" I have been avoiding overpriced restaurant food. I have been sad that they dropped the one menu item I usually order. I have been avoiding patronizing corporations taken over by private equity firms.
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Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
I hate that men are so fucking sleezy that women feel this way, and they are justified in doing so. I am a guy and I too find men disgusting.
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The Real Kim Shady @kimmysunshine.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
my third eye has astigmatism
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Bodega Cats @bodegacats.bsky.social · 23/04/2026
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