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Michael

@biscuitngrav.bsky.social
1.2K followers 914 following 2.9K posts

Anti-MAGAt. Funny in a prophet-setting-your-conscience-on-fire kind of way. Voted “Most Arrogant Fuck” in high school. Bangers are just mash that gets attention: bsky.app/profile/did:plc:vwo7dsoj4r…

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derek guy @dieworkwear.bsky.social · 05/12/2025
wtf is a FIFA peace prize? that's like being an NFL laureate in physics
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 04/12/2025
excited to see my post about snow tires is gaining traction . folks,,
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
Damnit, Love, why you gotta be obvious in the silence?
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 26/11/2025
“ if I had the hair to do it, I’d still be rocking a mushroom haircut.” “That’s your biggest secret?” “…yes?”
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
RFK, Jr. cancelling oxygen
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
Don’t answer unknown numbers, Charlie Brown.
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
Do you even give up on the daily, bro?
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 17/08/2025
World War Z is my favorite movie about the spread of fascist lunacy.
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co2expeller.bsky.social @co2expeller.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
I said he'll flip you. Flip ya for real,Charlie Brown
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
RFK, Jr. cancelling oxygen
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
Do you even give up on the daily, bro?
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
Don’t answer unknown numbers, Charlie Brown.
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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
Never get involved in a land war in Asia, Charlie Brown.
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 25/11/2025
The urge to spam your group chat >>>
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sweetie π @sixfeetofcandy.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
officer i only missed that stop sign bc i was looking for the wizard emoji on my phone
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Grant Tanaka @granttanaka.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
still existing over here (without my consent)
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
me: i have to tell you something but keep it on the down low. you need deodorant. here. take this. bff: ok. your secret™️ is safe with me. wait. what ??
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 22/11/2025
[port of miami] guy who works for TMZ: im here to catch a celebrity check-in agent: sorry, sir. that ship has sailed TMZ guy: no, i mean, like, Cruise check-in agent: sir. you can’t just hop on a cruise TMZ guy: what check-in agent: what narrator: what
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John @johncnj.bsky.social · 22/11/2025
I’m strongly opposed to a baby monitor. Like a baby can effectively observe and perform surveillance? That’s asking quite a bit from an infant.
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kattsdogma.bsky.social @kattsdogma.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
guy from Louisiana: hey. how y’all doing? how’s bayou ? me: what
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Christopher Webb @cwebbonline.com · 17/08/2025
Masked men jumped a San Bernardino family in unmarked cars, opened fire, and shattered their truck windows—all while the family was just coming home from work. The feds later admitted it was CBP, but the family says the agents never showed warrants or IDs.
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 17/08/2025
World War Z is my favorite movie about the spread of fascist lunacy.
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
CONNECTIONS be like: 🟢Green: Cardinal directions 🟡Yellow: Sandwich ingredients 🔵Blue: Terms for a social value you should know 🟣Purple: The last three letters in the names of my grandmother’s dead cats, in reverse
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
CONNECTIONS be like: 🟢Green: Cardinal directions 🟡Yellow: Sandwich ingredients 🔵Blue: Terms for a social value you should know 🟣Purple: The last three letters in the names of my grandmother’s dead cats, in reverse
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yeah ok @poutinesmoothie.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.
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Marl @marlebean.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
He's a 10 but he carries around an open mug of coffee while out doing errands.
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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname.bsky.social · 14/08/2025
Overdoing “on the other hand” alternatives for dinner to impress my octopus date
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Pinche the Undying @pinche-pi.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
He didn't "throw" a sandwich, he freely offered his sandwich in friendship and love really fast
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Ennui Doofen @ennuidoofen.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
I probably won't fix it if I realize I've been wearing something inside out but I will undoubtedly tell everyone who looks at me that I am wearing something inside out and this is a story about being American in 2025 thank you
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
Kinda unfair that you can only die once. What if I want to find out the best way? I’m not perfect, you know.
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Paul @grommit56.bsky.social · 06/07/2024
Once you accept, truly in your heart, that the laundry is never done, then you will know peace.
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Julie Lavender Menace @2tickytacky.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
What's the matter, babe? You've hardly touched your murder axe today.
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 15/08/2025
Kinda unfair that you can only die once. What if I want to find out the best way? I’m not perfect, you know.
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Michael @biscuitngrav.bsky.social · 13/08/2025
Slightly diminish a band Nirva-nah
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Alt National Park Service @altnps.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
A federal judge has ordered Florida to pause construction of the “Alligator Alcatraz” immigration detention center in the remote Everglades for 14 days.
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Katy Maiolatesi @kmaiolatesi.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
Just once I would love to be the bridesmaid and not the bride
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James Damron @runswindows95.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
Long story short, onion jokes also make people cry.
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Midge @midge.bsky.social · 07/08/2025
me: I have a little headache WebMD:
A smiling SpongeBob gesturing to an open coffin that Patrick is holding open with the caption “okay get in”
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AnnaAnkaAnia @samerealwoman.bsky.social · 05/08/2025
Nothing unites so strongly as mutual sarcasm.
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