Reposted by amanda carlyleMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 12/09/2026Happy birthday, Ludacris! buff.ly/Y7KmxCRmcsweeneys.netPlace I’ve Cried or Place Ludacris Claims He Had Sex in His Song “What’s Your Fantasy”?1. A public bathroom 2. The back of a classroom 3. The Georgia Dome on the fifty-yard line while the Dirty Birds kick for t’ree 9/11/26 0365
Reposted by amanda carlyleKatie Cook @katiecandraw.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Inside of you there are two wolves 0306
amanda carlyle @amandacarlyle.bsky.social · 12/07/2026I think today’s biggest takeaway is that if you don’t want people speaking ill of you or celebrating when you die, you should try not being an enormous shitbag while you’re alive 010
Reposted by amanda carlylealix e. harrow @alixeharrow.bsky.social · 12/07/2026grim reaper finally locked the fuck in. he's standing in front of that claw machine with a roll of quarters and an agenda 540660
Reposted by amanda carlyleMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 11/07/2026"The first horse, signifying War, was adorned with golden, ill-fitting hair. He was recognized immediately as the great protector of Macaulay Culkin in 'Home Alone 2' and as a ’90s rap euphemism for wealth."buff.lyBook of Revelations, Chapter 6 (Revised 2026)“You’re fired!” proclaimed the first horse. “Remember me? That was kind of my catchphrase in the early aughts.” He then remarked on the beauty of his daughte... 1366
Reposted by amanda carlyleBenito Cereno @benitocereno.bsky.social · 18/06/2026Telling your kids these were the Kids in the Hall 1183
Reposted by amanda carlylejab lung @mobute.bsky.social · 14/06/2026What you wish you could be doing in New York right now is what you could be doing when It happens. HAVE A PLAN. 454105713
Reposted by amanda carlyleCitizen Helene / Galaxy Brain @citizenhelene.bsky.social · 19/04/2026You can never shame me for being middle-aged. I was born middle-aged 58413
Reposted by amanda carlyleJesse @requiemarm.bsky.social · 14/04/2026you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of 105100062094
Reposted by amanda carlyleNorm Charlatan @normcharlatan.bsky.social · 03/04/2026Thirty-one years ago today, the New Orleans-based alternative rock band Better than Ezra released its hit single “Good,” marking the first-ever Good Friday, which has now grown into a major holiday celebrated throughout the world. 322123330
Reposted by amanda carlyleJamie McKelvie @mckelvie.bsky.social · 13/02/2026The talk to your friends app and the witness the horrors app being the same app is not great for the mental health is it 982952400
Reposted by amanda carlylealexis simpson is confused by display name changes @amutepiggy.bsky.social · 26/02/2026my cup size? reese's 361042160
Reposted by amanda carlyledonni saphire @donni.bsky.social · 16/02/2026Sometimes I get a little upset when I live in a collapsing dystopia for many years 174424965
Reposted by amanda carlylemaura quint @mauraquint.bsky.social · 14/02/2026Omg you guys didn’t have to get me anything for a Valentine’s Day! but that’s so sweet, I love it 🥰 152081272
Reposted by amanda carlyleThe Volatile Mermaid @ohnoshetwitnt.bsky.social · 14/02/2026Roses are red Violets are nice Nazis are bad Abolish ICE 13946226
Reposted by amanda carlylePaul F. Tompkins @pftompkins.bsky.social · 07/02/2026As a child in school I never could have imagined that as an adult hearing “the vice presence of the united states got booed at the Olympics” my reaction would be an Eriq-Lasalle-in-the-ER-opening-credits fist pump 12661170
Reposted by amanda carlyleMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 07/02/2026"Does this shock you? Make you feel vulnerable? Endangered? Impuissant? SHAKE OFF YOUR SENSE OF SINGULARITY AND ENTITLEMENT, EARTH PEASANT." [Blows a spit bubble.]buff.lyI Am a Baby Staring at You from Between Two Airplane Seats, and I Know When You Are Going to DieLook upon me, for I am the baby staring at you from the hollow gap betwixt two airplane seats, and I know when you are going to die. Do not turn aw... 0494
Reposted by amanda carlylebort @crushbort.bsky.social · 03/02/2026sorry nothing short of “these people never get to have lives in public society again” is gonna cut it. unmask, prosecute, and blacklist every last one 21171174
Reposted by amanda carlyleVictoria Ying @victoriaying.com · 01/02/2026After seeing all the Epstein emails, I understand why CEOS love ChatGPT. They really CAN’T write emails. 026440
Reposted by amanda carlyleLane Moore @hellolanemoore.bsky.social · 29/01/2026Is anybody else having a hell of a time managing their own inner turmoil *and* the constant external turmoil around them? I can handle one turmoil max. This is too many turmoils for me. 1422532
Reposted by amanda carlyleseakae @seakae.com · 28/01/2026You know who else hates whistles? Rapists. 04611
Reposted by amanda carlyleMara Wilson @marawilson.bsky.social · 28/01/2026Imagine having Bruce Springsteen AND Billy Bragg release songs about how much you fucking suck and how much the people fighting you rule you within the same 48 hours 5569961413
Reposted by amanda carlylesouthpaw @nycsouthpaw.bsky.social · 20/01/2026there's no answer to the question 'what's it gonna take?' but that doesn't stop it from popping into my head every goddamn time I look at the news 732402355
Reposted by amanda carlyleSK Winnicki, PhD 🏳️⚧️ @skwinnicki.bsky.social · 18/01/2026I wonder how many calories I’m spending daily on the cognitive dissonance created by thinking “this is exactly what I knew they’d do” and “I can’t believe this is happening” all day every day 741080
Reposted by amanda carlylethe Mountain Goats @themountaingoats.bsky.social · 18/01/2026when you are petting a cat and the purr descends in register from “love it” to the louder slower “oh hell yes now that’s the stuff” purr, that is a blessing in this world 251776200
Reposted by amanda carlyleMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 17/01/2026"I hefted the wrought iron fishing stick, felt its familiar leaden weight. 'Teach a man to fish…' I said, smiling wistfully. The forest enclosed me like some sort of massive tree convention at the Javits Center."buff.lyPoorly Researched Men’s FictionI had a whole gaggle of 100-point bucks in my sights, sleeping peacefully on their feet, like cows. The way they were lined up, I could take down t... 28915
Reposted by amanda carlyleGianmarco Soresi @gianmarcosoresi.bsky.social · 16/01/2026This makes me feel more patriotic than the national anthem ever could 215145332778
Reposted by amanda carlyleMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 16/01/2026"We have checked our inventory thoroughly, and we no longer have any shits left to give. We only had a small amount of shits left at the end of last year, and now we’ve found that the most recent news cycles have completely emptied us out." www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/faq...mcsweeneys.netFAQ: The Status of the Shits Women Have Left to GiveQ: I was wondering: how much of a shit do women give about what conservative old white dudes say about them? A: Thanks for contacting us. We have c... 327298
Reposted by amanda carlylekim @kimmymonte.bsky.social · 10/01/2026a blue whale’s anus can stretch up to over 3 feet making it the 2nd largest asshole in the world behind jd vance 272830612
Reposted by amanda carlyleKen Jennings @kenjennings.bsky.social · 07/01/2026The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028. 15928746821348
Reposted by amanda carlyleHannah Solo @hannahsolo12.bsky.social · 07/01/2026And this movie made a generation or two of bisexuals.media.tenor.coma man and a woman are standing next to each other .ALT: a man and a woman are standing next to each other . 321723
Reposted by amanda carlyleBetter Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 09/06/2025I'm not a historian but my analysis is it's "Not good" when a government constantly commits crimes and tells the legislature, courts, and general public "What are you gonna do about it" 61103321998
Reposted by amanda carlyleThe Onion @theonion.com · 01/01/2026Report: No One Currently Thinking About You theonion.com/report-no-one-currentl… 341551169
Reposted by amanda carlyleweeder @weeder.bsky.social · 31/12/2025Pro tip: Turn off all your recurring subscriptions. Walk toward the horizon. 951290
Reposted by amanda carlyleBetter Things Are Possible @internethippo.bsky.social · 23/12/2025Some of you will believe any horrific allegation about our president merely because it's fully consistent with who he is 204815693
Reposted by amanda carlyleKat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 20/12/2025Having a cat is so cool. There is a little creature in my bed who loves me and vibrates like a tiny motorcycle and is so fuzzy and wants to snuggle. How could I want anything else 3179678996
Reposted by amanda carlyleBut Andrew Hickey Died Ten Years Ago This Very Night @andrewhickey.500songs.com · 20/12/2025This was a description (accurate) of ska shows but I read it as being about TNG... 022330
Reposted by amanda carlyleBut Dave Died 10 Years Ago This Very Night @daveexmachina.bsky.social · 06/12/2024me (kissing girl under the mistletoe): that's from me her: awww me (kissing her again): that's from Burl Ives 35522
Reposted by amanda carlyleLuke O'Neil @lukeoneil47.bsky.social · 16/12/2025A podcast asked me to record a voice note about my prediction for 2026 and here it is. 883743887
Reposted by amanda carlyleMcSweeney's @mcsweeneys.net · 14/12/2025CHARLIE BROWN: I'm depressed. LUCY: It’s because of mainstream media cowardice. In an age of lies, telling the truth is a huge risk. Are you afraid of being silenced because of your “privilege”? How ’bout for the crime of listening to a diversity of opinions?buff.lyBari Weiss’s A Charlie Brown ChristmasSixty years ago, A Charlie Brown Christmas made its debut on CBS. Today, as part of CBS’s new initiative to modernize content, CBS Editor-in-Chief ... 415739
