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Fustian Bargain

@waggishfox.bsky.social
38 followers 84 following 13 posts

Putting the "ass" in assiduous. 33. Gay. He/him. In a prison of my own creation.

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InfoWars @realinfowars.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Drag queen Xochi Mochi has an urgent message for all InfoWarriors. Ignore at your own risk.
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Matt @mbunchanumbers.bsky.social · 06/12/2025
We got Weird Al out here singing Killing In The Name, the time for moderation is over
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Brian Hughes @bmhughes.bsky.social · 01/12/2025
This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥
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worm adderall (feral) @wormmo.de · 01/11/2025
it's me, unnamed critter from bosch's triptych of the temptation of anthony!
me with a blue funnel like hat, with a stick out the top holding a red ball on a string. I have on a red capelet and am carrying a letter with calligraphy and a seal in my crooked beak. I've got a badge with a symbol on itthe guy from the original painting that's got on my outfit except it's wearing tan turnshoes
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𝔻𝕒𝕟 🏈🍻💀 @danmynrd.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
AI sitcom accidentally a Lynchian fever dream. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and insane lament.
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Fustian Bargain @waggishfox.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
"Electability" has been a rhetorical cudgel against progressive candidates for a long time now. I think many on the left just want to support a candidate who shares our values and priorities regardless of "electability." But Platner clearly doesnt share my values, and its concerning anyone disagrees
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Fustian Bargain @waggishfox.bsky.social · 02/10/2025
This did something to me. 🫠
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Naomi Elizabeth @naomielizabeth.bsky.social · 25/09/2025
Happy leaf season
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Fustian Bargain @waggishfox.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
I'm surprised this was unreleased; it's really pretty!
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tuck woodstock @tuck.bsky.social · 22/08/2025
my roommate was trying to find the menu for a nearby bagel shop and instead found some of the most iconic slop I've ever seen. thanks food! :)
a green square that says "fast food meals. new phenomenon burger taste. $19.90. order via seamless" and in the corner is a non-euclidean cluster of chicken finger. a very normal 5-star review that says "I would be lost without restaurant. I would like to personally thank you for your outstanding product." - Nina Margaret, CEO apple. another normal review that says "without food, we would have gone bankrupt by now. thanks food! the service was excellent." John Doe, manager.an AI image of a pastrami sandwich. not to overuse the word non-euclidean but what else can I say to describe these layers of meat? this one also has some kind of yellow sauce leaking out of the bottom, and another yellow sauce being sensuously drizzled on top. in the lower right corner are baffling tubes that sort of look like if roasted carrots fucked a soft pretzel.
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Rafe Meager (they/them) @economeager.bsky.social · 08/08/2025
Oh so it does have phd level intelligence
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Anthony Clark @nedroid.com · 28/07/2025
In my experience there are three kinds of fantasy magic novels:
"There are three kinds of magic," said Wizzler, handing us each a balloon. "You can control tigers, you can shoot tornadoes from your fingers, or you can fly by holding your breath. The color of confetti inside your balloon will reveal which kind of power you have."
I felt the panic rising in me. What if my confetti turned yellow, indicating that I was a Tiger-Talker? My family, a long line of proud Tornado-Fingers, would disown me. Could I ever return home, bearing such shame?
I tried to calm myself as I readied the ceremonial safety pin. Green, I thought, willing my hopes into reality. Please be green. 
I popped the balloon, involuntarily shutting my eyes. When I opened them, would I see the green I hoped for? The yellow I feared? What if, gods forbid, the confetti were blue? 
I opened my eyes, seeing shock on the faces of my classmates. Wizzler himself stared at me, wide-eye. Looking down, I saw myself covered in confetti... purple confetti.“I don’t understand,” I growled, my body trembling with pain. “I combined eighty percent Earth-elemental mana with twenty percent Fire-elemental mana (Type B), focused through a twenty-four-sided icositetragon made of yellow topaz. This, in conjunction with my blood type, star sign, sense of humor, and nickname, should have produced a blazing column of lightning to vaporize my enemies. Instead, it made a big bubble that smells like fresh laundry. Why?”
Skullgrumbler began to laugh. “You fool! You don’t even realize…” he squealed. “You’re facing east!”“It’s whatever you want,” explained Magemaster Grampledog. “Magic is just whatever you want.”
I knew he was speaking in riddles, but I couldn’t grasp his hidden meaning. “So the rules are…”
Grampledog lit a sliver of smokereed. “No rules. You say some words and you wave a stick and whatever you want just happens. You don’t even need the stick.”
His wisdom still eluded me. I stared into his face, trying to decipher what he was really saying.
“No, listen.” Grampledog snapped his fingers and his desk turned into a pile of chicken nuggets. “I didn’t even know that would happen.” His hat then came alive and began to yodel. 
“It’s pandemonium,” he explained. “It’s complete nonsense.”
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Amy READ PINNED (cute) [weird] 🔞 @amyuncut.bsky.social · 05/07/2025
ℹ️ If you frame-perfectly parry someone trying to frot with you, you can make them cum instantly
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zach @extrafabulous.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
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Simon Pegg @simonpegg.bsky.social · 25/06/2025
Ever wondered what a trumpet would sound like in jelly? Well, am I about to answer your question...
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Garrett Gilchrist @garrettgilchrist.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
NANCY PELOSI: We must find the next generation of Democratic leadership. Young, charismatic and exciting candidates who can energize the party. People that voters love because they're not 80 years old and sold out to big capital. CHUCK SCHUMER (behind sniper rifle): Found one PELOSI: Take the shot
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Gef the Toking Mongoose @geftokingmongoose.bsky.social · 16/06/2025
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Atheists, imagine you're a famous
baseball player and are about to bat
the winning hit. Accidentally, the
pitcher tosses a Christian baby at
you. Would you still hit the baby out
of the stadium and win millions, or
spare the Christian baby?
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merr-itt came from outer space @merrittk.com · 23/05/2025
this is what happens when you die
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lukelukeluke @lukelukeluke.bsky.social · 13/05/2025
If you’ve sent me a text and I didn’t respond please know that I didn’t forget you, you’ll live on in my subconscious as a vague sense of dread forever
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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 09/05/2025
“Bustin’ makes me feel good”
Screenshot of People Magazine article with photo of Queen Elizabeth Ii:  “Queen Elizabeth’s Final Diary Entry Contained Only Fve Words.”
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more mr. spice guy @juniorhoncho.bsky.social · 15/03/2025
wrong
thumbnail for the movie Rear View Mirror featuring a side view mirror
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Scarred For Life Books @scarredforlife.bsky.social · 28/04/2025
This early 90s pizza advert from America is horrifying. No matter where you *think* it's going, you're wrong...
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Acyn @acyn.bsky.social · 24/04/2025
Walz: If you say you love freedom but you don't believe freedom is for everybody, then the thing you love is not freedom, it is privilege.
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Blue sky nice ghost @rajandelman.bsky.social · 10/04/2025
The hard truth is that there are some products you just can't make in America. These must be imported from elsewhere. Like chocolates, for example. American workers will always become overwhelmed by the speed of the conveyor belt. They'll end up shoving the sweets into their mouths and blouses
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J. L. Westover @mrlovenstein.bsky.social · 09/04/2025
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wint @dril.bsky.social · 08/04/2025
my hope is that AI can empower the Dumbest, Least talented slobs i know to replace everything i ever loved with One Million Years of Content
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 27/03/2025
me: Have you read the latest about Dora the Explorer feet mukbang? Did you know that IShowSpeed took China? Does the Big Balls cybercrime ring remain on the lam? nurse, to my family: I'm sorry, it's time.
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pixelatedboat aka “mr bluesky” @pixelatedboat.bsky.social · 17/03/2025
Every time I read The Great Gatsby, the final paragraph brings me to tears. Breathtakingly powerful writing:
"I'm alive!" said Gatsby, roaring past on a speedboat. He'd faked his own death and gotten away with everything. That's why they called him the Great Gatsby. "Out of the way, current!" he yelled at the water. "This speedboat is bearing me ceaselessly into the future!"
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Fustian Bargain @waggishfox.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
Inhaled amyl nitrite
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Slate @slate.com · 10/03/2025
America is under siege by a surprising force: losers.
slate.com
America Is Under Siege by a Surprising Force: Losers
We’re not talking about this enough.
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Fustian Bargain @waggishfox.bsky.social · 07/03/2025
Does he like twinks?
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Laurel Gale @laurelgale.bsky.social · 04/03/2025
I did not expect to get so many wren captures this winter. Here's a canyon wren. #birds 📷
A photo of a small bird perched on piece of drift wood by the river. The bird is mostly brown with a white throat. Its long beak is open in song.
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Bill Corbett @billcorbett.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
My new pitch is White Lotus but everyone’s happy, because they’re on vacation in a nice place. Until the giant crabs.
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Draculosity Jones: Ghost Skeleton @brainmage.bsky.social · 17/02/2025
Funny how "founding father" and "load-bearing daddy" mean the same thing but also really don't
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Fustian Bargain @waggishfox.bsky.social · 04/02/2025
The nostalgia gremlins have crawled into my brain and begun excavating my gray matter while I vibrate with excitment.
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sexy baba yaga @beardynoise.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
boing boing boing boing boing
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Caroline Carlson @carolinecarlson.bsky.social · 12/01/2025
“Oh, no, I don’t have sensory processing issues. It’s just that I couldn’t wear turtlenecks as a kid, I didn’t wear socks for about twenty years, I can’t stand being in a weird-fitting sweatshirt for more than 5 minutes, and the mere thought of Styrofoam makes my fingernails hurt.”
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Sean Thomason @seanthomason.bsky.social · 10/07/2024
Spencer's Gifts sounds like the name of a movie about a sweet little boy who is very sick.
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Serpent_x @zorrito.bsky.social · 24/12/2024
happy holidays :3
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beetle moses @beetlemoses.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
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merr-itt came from outer space @merrittk.com · 09/12/2024
wait holy shit
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Laura Phillips @lauraphillips.bsky.social · 11/11/2024
Sagan, the sage? From his 1995 book. The state of #America
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FLAVOR FLAV ⏰ @flavorflav.bsky.social · 08/11/2024
I’m here,,, letz get this party started,!!
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Adam Nathaniel Furman @anfurman.bsky.social · 09/11/2024
Croydon Colonnade, London's first porcelain pedestrian thoroughfare which I'm so proud to've been able to design. Photo by Gareth Gardner
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Molly Knight @mollyknight.bsky.social · 04/11/2024
From the artist Luke McGarry
The four horsemen of the apocalypse
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Jesse Sheidlower @jessesword.com · 22/10/2024
News: the 4th edition of The F-Word is coming out in two weeks from Oxford UP! Everything you could want to know about the word _fuck_. This is a major revision: 500 pages with 150 new entries, 150 antedatings, & 2,500 new quotations. See link below for more info! jessesword.com/fword.html
Cover picture:
The F-Word
edited by Jesse Sheidlower
IV Edition
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public universal haunted guy @llkats.com · 10/06/2024
behold this creature, the Marbled Polecat
a marbled polecat, a tiny ferret-like mustelid, sitting up on its back legs in front of an out of focus green background. its neck seems to be almost half the length of its body. it is black underneath and mottled black and white on its back, with a white muzzle and eyebrows and black stripe over its dark shiny eyes. it looks cute and fierce some and absolutely absurd. this photo is from a duck duck go search and not my own.
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